


The Breakfast Club Alternate Version

by Pokejedservo



Category: The Breakfast Club (1985)
Genre: F/M, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:24:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 46,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokejedservo/pseuds/Pokejedservo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes folks I actually created a retelling of the classic 1985 film "The Breakfast Club". This is a somewhat more modernized take on the story. This new version will have plenty of aspects from the classic original version but will also have a pretty good amount of changes as well. (Such as for example while Andy, Brian and Claire meet for the first time in detention here, Allison and Bender were already friends before this story began.) But still here is my new take on this 1985 classic that I spent quite a while working on, enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Breakfast Club Alternate Version

The Breakfast Club Alternate Version

(We are now viewing Shermer High School and we take a look at the empty hallways of the school. We are also seeing things like messed up lockers, trophy cases, the Lunch menu and more.)

Brian (narration): It was Saturday March 24 at Shermer High School in Shermer Illinois. Dear Mr. Vernon, we understand that we all had to sacrifice a Saturday in detention for doing something wrong. Now don’t get me wrong sir we all did something wrong. But you made us all write essays over who do you think we are. But in all honesty sir we all think you’re crazy I mean lets be honest sir would you even care? You seem to always think of us in the simplest terms and easiest definitions such as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. But to be fair at 7 ‘o clock that Saturday morning one way or another we all saw each-other like that. We were brainwashed.

(Meanwhile outside the High School as a few cars were coming in through the driveway. One of the cars that shown up it was a slightly beaten up older car in which a young lady dressed in a dark coat stepped out of the car without saying a word. This young lady by the name of Allison Reynolds had a melancholy expression on her face until she saw a young man with raggy clothes by the name of John Bender walking up to the school and had a small smile on her face. Meanwhile at one of the nearby cars, a rather expensive looking car namely a Mercedes Benz.)

Claire: I can’t believe I am doing this, I mean couldn’t you just bribe someone to get me out of this?

Mr. Standish: Now pumpkin you shouldn’t have skipped classes in order to do some shopping. I mean don’t I give you plenty of time to go shopping after school compared to your mother?

Claire (dryly): Yes I know…

Mr. Standish: But don’t worry pumpkin, I will make it up to you later. After all remember dear unlike some people money is no object to me when it comes to you. Besides it’s not that big a deal really all you have to do is just spend the morning at school and I will pick you up later this afternoon. Okay pumpkin?

Claire: Okay dad…

Mr. Standish: Alright have fun pumpkin, and I will see you later.

(Meanwhile there is a pick up truck nearby with a young man in a varsity jacket and his middle aged father.)

Mr. Clark: Now look son, you were screwing around with the guys. I understand that I mean hey back in my day I did all sorts of screwing around too. You know that and I know that and there is nothing wrong with that right?

Andy: Yeah…

Mr. Clark: Except you got caught sport, you were sloppy son really sloppy.

Andy: Look mom already gave me a lecture about this alright?

Mr. Clark: Don’t you backtalk me son! Do you want to miss your match? Do you want to blow your ride?

Andy: No…

Mr. Clark: I worked hard to make sure you get into the Varsity team so you can get a scholarship so don’t screw it up alright?

Andy: Yes sir

Mr. Clark: Good, now get out of here.

(Meanwhile there is a somewhat recent looking car in it there is a young man with his mother and little sister.) 

Mrs. Johnson: Now Brian is this going to be the first time or last time we do this?

Brian: Last…

Mrs. Johnson: This better be the last time we do this Brian!

Brian’s Little Sister: Yeah!

Brian: You be quiet

Brian’s Little Sister: Why, you’re the one who is in big trouble.

Mrs. Johnson: YOU BOTH BE QUIET!

Brian and his little sister: Yes mother!

Mrs. Johnson: Now Brian you better study while you’re in there to make up for this disappointment.

Brian: But Mom this is detention nobody studies while in detention we basically just do nothing.

(As Brian’s mother is now glaring at him)

Mrs. Johnson: Are you back talking me son?

Brian: No mother

Mrs. Johnson: You better not be back talking me I mean haven’t you disappointed me enough son? It’s bad enough that you got an F but you also end up in detention like all the stupid kids in your school. Brian you are not supposed to be stupid! But lately you seem to be trying really hard to prove me wrong son. You come from a long line of geniuses in your family Brian and you know that right?

Brian: Yes mother

Mrs. Johnson: So get in there and figure out how to get some studying done so you can stop being such an insult to our family’s name, got it?

Brian: Yes mother!

Mrs. Johnson: Good, now get going!

Brian: Yes mother…

(A short while later as they are all now inside in the Detention room in the library as Claire and Andy are sitting next to each other in their desks while Bender is sitting a couple of desks behind Claire. Brian was sitting in the middle desk of the right section while Allison was in the far back desk on the right section. Even though Claire was only there for a few minutes she was already looking rather bored and annoyed. Andy was trying to look alert and vigilant but he was also looking rather bored. Brian was initially looking around the room then was playing with a pen with his mouth. That is until Brian noticed it looked like Bender was glaring at him, then Brian felt a little skittish as he puts the pen down. Then Brian tried to take his jacket off but it was at the same time Bender did in which now Brian feels even more awkward about this. While at first it looked like Bender was glaring at him again then he closed his eyes and had a small chuckle and briefly waved his hand. Now Brian still feels a little uneasy but he does feel a little bit of relief as he has a small awkward smile as he waved back. Bender gave a small playful little smirk to Allison as she did have a nice little smile for a moment until she suddenly had a look of concern on her face as she pointed at Brian. Brian’s eyes have slightly bulged in shock as he notices Andy nearby and is looking rather nervous. Bender looked a little surprised at first until he noticed Andy in front of him in which Bender had a cocky smirk on his face. But then a middle aged man by the name of Richard Vernon who is the principal of the school walks in.)

Principal Dick: Hello students I’d like to congratulate you all by coming here on time. 

Claire: Excuse me sir, I know this is suppose to be detention but I think there must be a mistake because I really don’t belong here.

Principal Dick: Alright students it is now 7:06 AM so you all have 8 hours and 54 minutes to think about what you have done and ponder the error of your ways. 

(Then Claire noticed Bender scratching his crotch and is looking like he is enjoying himself and Claire looks rather disgusted.)

Principal Dick: You may not talk, you will not move from these seats… (As Brian was about to move to the next desk as Dick is walking up to Bender) and you will not sleep.

Principal Dick: Alright people, we will try a little something different this time.

(As he starts giving papers to the 5 students)

Principal Dick: You will all write an essay that is no less than a thousand words. On this essay you will write about who you think you are. 

Bender: An essay? Really?

Principal Dick: Yes and when I say essay I mean essay as in don’t write a single word a thousand times. Are we clear Mr. Bender?

Bender: Crystal

Principal Dick: Good now perhaps you all will learn a little something about yourselves and you will decide whether if you wish to come back here or not.

Brian: Excuse me sir I have already decided that it would be a no because…

Principal Dick: Sit down Johnson…

Brian: Yes sir

Principal Dick: I would like to remind you all that my office is right across the hall so any monkey-business is ill advised, any questions.

Bender: Yeah, does Barry Mannilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

(Andy did have a brief smirk and small chuckle about that.)

Principal Dick: You will find out the answer to that question, next Saturday at Detention Mr. Bender. You mess with the bull young man you get the horns.

(Then as Dick walks out of the room)

Bender: That man is a Brownie Hound.

(Allison had a small chuckle out of that.)

Brian (thinking): What’s a Brownie Hound?

Claire (under her breath): What the hell is a brownie hound?

Andy (under his breath): It’s probably something dirty so don’t pay any attention to it.

(Then they notice a certain clicking noise that is getting a bit louder and most of the students looked a little bit confused until they noticed Allison biting her nails. Most of the students were staring at her in confusion as Allison briefly noticed them at first but then went back to biting her nails.)

Bender (with a playful smirk on his face): You keep eating that hand and you won’t be hungry for lunch. 

(Then Allison smirked right back at him as she looks up and spits that nail piece up in the air then caught it with her mouth when it went back down. Allison had a big smile on her face feeling proud of that achievement as Bender had a small smile on his face as she chomps on that nail while the others look confused or disgusted.)

Bender: I’ve seen you before you know. 

Alison: True (as she swallows that nail down)

(Claire was disgusted by this while Andy and Brian looked slightly shocked then all 3 of them try to look away. But after a few moments of silence)

Bender: Heh, I just realized something you know there is a whole bunch of Fridge Logic regarding this set-up. I mean for starters if we are supposed to stay in our seats what if somebody has to take a piss? Ah well if you got to go…

(Then Bender puts his hands under the desk as he seems to be grabbing his crotch.)

Claire: Ew!

Andy: Hey man your not doing that here!

Bender: Shh shh don’t talk it’ll go back in.

Andy: You’re not going to pee in here you sicko.

Bender: Oh come on now Sporto I got my dick out so what am I suppose to do with it? All I can really do with it right here is to either take a piss or jerk off. I mean sure I got a couple of good reasons to do the latter here but still. 

(Claire once again looks disgusted and turns her face away while Allison has a small playful smile on her face.)

Andy: You really are a sick freak.

Bender: Relax Sporto your not one of those two reasons I mentioned, trust me.

Andy: Gee thanks anyways my name is not Sporto, its Andy. Are we clear on that?

Bender: Crystal, besides I was just kidding about the whole pissing thing of course.

Andy: Heh, you better be.

(As Bender is scratching his chin with his right middle finger)

Bender: Whatever you say Sporto.

Andy: Oh that’s real funny jackass do you want me to kick your ass?

Bender: Geez we just met and you already want me to bend over? I mean sure you do look awfully sexy when your angry but still.

Andy: I said KICK your ass you moron!

Bender: Oh I know I was just having a little bit of fun with a rhetorical question here.

Claire: Oh just ignore him he is doing this just to get a rise out of you he is totally not worth it.

Bender: Hey there, Red, trust me sweets you couldn’t ignore me even if you tried.

(Then Claire and Andy try to ignore him for a few moments until.)

Bender: So… you two, Red and Sporto, you two are practically sitting together so… Are you two all that close? Steady dates, lovers? So tell me Red have you ridden ol’ Sporto’s Baloney Pony yet?

Claire: What?

Andy: Just ignore him.

Bender: Oh c’mon Sporto, level with me, have you given your little red-headed wife here a hot beef injection?

Claire (red in the face): GO TO HELL!

Andy: ENOUGH!

(Now we see Principal Dick at his office.)

Principal Dick: Shut up out there! *sigh* Spoiled little pricks… 

(Meanwhile back inside the Library/Detention Room.)

Bender: Oh my, it appears we have heard the wild cry of the angry Principal. Isn’t that right Allie?

Allison: It sure seems so Bender…

Bender: Indeed every now & then he actually does show signs of paying attention to us believe it or not. Lucky for us I know what to do…

(Then Bender got out of his seat and walked over to the front door.)

Brian: Eh… excuse me Mr. Bender but I don’t think you’re supposed to be doing this.

Bender: Young man, have you finished your homework?

Brian: What?

(Then Bender is loosening the screws on the door making it loose and closing the door.)

Brian: But that’s school property…

Andy: Yeah that’s real mature.

Brian (looking at Allison): Excuse me but what is he doing?

Allison (with a cat-like smile on her face): Being awesome.

Claire (pointing at Bender): Alright you, ya better sit down… (now she is pointing at Allison) And you stop encouraging him.

Andy: Do what the lady says and sit down.

Bender: Yes Mom & Dad but in just a moment… *as he finishes the process and closes the door* Voila! Now we can party, I’ll take some of these for the road… *as he places a couple of the screws in his pockets* There we go oh yes and…

(Then he tosses a couple of them at Allison as she quickly hides them.)

Allison: Thank you.

Bender: You’re welcome, so who wants to take turns in getting the prom queen pregnant huh?

Claire: You’re disgusting.

Brian: Excuse me but I really think we should just sit down and do the essay okay?

Bender: Aww do you always want to be such a good little boy there skipper?

Andy: Why do you got to be such a pain to everybody? I mean there are 4 other people in here and do you think that we like to put up with your antics?

Allison: Go Bender go.

Claire: You shut up.

Andy: Okay three of us but my point still stands here. Anyways just do us all a favor and shut up. Besides I have a meet to go to next Saturday and I am not missing it out on account of a jerk-off like you.

Bender: Ah and wouldn’t that just bite huh? I mean I have nothing but respect for guys who get down on other guys with tights. Oh Sporto since you are such a pretty-boy I’m sure your ass is quite a hot commodity amongst your fellow wrestlers.

Claire: Are you always this obnoxious or is this just a special day for you to be a complete asshole huh?

Bender: Oh trust me sweets every day is “Be a complete asshole day” to me. But come on now Red; think about it to see a pretty boy like him going down on another pretty boy in those form-fitting tights. I mean c’mon Cherry, their lean muscular bodies on each-other, sweating and rubbing against each-other. I’m sure that gets you real hot huh?

Claire (slightly flustered): N… No it doesn’t! I mean… shut up!

Bender: Oh come now Red, you mouth says no no but your cheeks say yes yes. After all there is no shame to admit such a thing after all your not the only lady here who has that fetish am I right? Or am I right?

(Allison smirked at Bender’s comment and nodded her to head to it.)

Claire (flustered): Shut up!

Bender: A wise man once said “Search your feelings you know it to be true”.

Andy: Did you hear the lady faggot? She told you to shut up!

Bender: Oh isn’t that adorable? The macho smug jock knows how to say homophobic slurs how utterly unexpected.

Andy: Oh shut up, this coming from the guy who was gay-baiting me just a few moments ago?

Bender: At least I was being a little bit more subtle.

Andy: Oh trust me asshole there is nothing subtle about you. In fact I pretty much have you pegged.

Bender: Oh this ought to be good, please go on.

Andy: Oh trust me I will, I’ve seen your kind before. You have an Anti-Establishment streak a mile wide and you’re probably a textbook wannabe big shot who hates anyone more important than you are. 

Claire: Oh I agree in fact you’re probably just some hipster who hates anything popular just to look cool. You try to dump on everyone else to hide that your nothing but an anti-social coward.

Andy: Exactly, guys like him trash talk against anyone who is more respected than him which is probably just about everyone. Guys like you use your “Anti-establishment” beliefs to justify their arrogance. To make a long story short you’re just some sociopath punk who likes to piss people off just for fun to make up for the fact that you will never amount to anything in life.

Bender: Oh isn’t this just rich I’m getting lectured by a snobby rich girl and a douche bag jock on how I am such an unoriginal character. Isn’t that nice? But hey maybe that would change if I got more involved in school. I mean what if I got involved in the Student Council, the Glee Club or maybe I can sign up for the Wrestling team huh? 

(Claire and Andy had a good laugh at that.) 

Claire: You? Be a part of any of the clubs here, please!

Bender: Oh really?

Andy: Yeah just about any given club here would throw your sorry punk ass out within the hour let alone day. Face it Bender there is one difference between us here. You see people like the two of us are not normally here in detention, unlike you. In fact this is quite possibly the ONLY place here in school that you belong in namely here at Detention.

Bender: Oh wow… Look Allison apparently we are here just in time for another episode of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Douche-bags”.

Allison: *giggle* Yeah that looks about right.

Bender (in a goofy posh accent): I say Muffy, its such a shame that we must be here with these riff-raffs am I right schnookums?

Bender (in a falsetto posh accent): Oh yes honey-buns after all Detention is only for the little people.

(Allison had a good laugh, while Brian tried to resist the urge to chuckle a bit however Claire and Andy were not amused.)

Andy (dryly): Oh yes that’s really funny…

Bender: Indeed glad I certainly gave someone a good laugh, but anyways it’s my little tribute over how you activity people can be complete assholes.

Brian: Well I am in the Physics club…

Claire: Oh shut up and stopping speaking like you know us. I mean it’s like I said earlier you are too much of a coward and you put up this arrogant obnoxious act just to hide that.

Bender: Oh it’s so cute to watch you play psychiatrist.

Allison (imitating Harley Quinn): Ah yeah she looks like she would have a great future in Arkham Asylum isn’t that right Mr. J?

Bender (imitating the Joker): Oh that is so right Harley, it is such a shame we weren’t able to bring our Hyenas they would so liven up this place.

Brian: I’m also in the Math Club and Science Club.

Bender: Excuse me, alright little skipper what are you babbling about?

Brian: Well I am also into certain activities as well as I am in the Science Club, Math Club and Physics Club.

Bender: I see, tell me what do you do in these clubs?

Brian: Well we go over our studies and try to do a lot of research on these subjects in the Science and Physics clubs. In the Math Club we try to do all sorts of complicated Math problems.

Bender: Ah how adorable, sad but adorable in fact its downright sadorable.

Claire: Sadorable?

Bender: Yeah, tell me Sweets do you belong in the Physics club?

Claire: It’s an academic club, it’s not the same thing as the more social clubs that I am involved in.

Bender: Oh so there are clubs you wouldn’t be able to fit in, huh? Imagine that, but hey to little dork boys like him it’s the same thing so why should it be any different to you?

Brian: Well Mr. Bender, this school has all sorts of clubs that you might be able to join in sometime in the future. I mean depending on what you like and what are your skills I’m sure you can find a club that could suit you.

Bender: Why thank you little Bucky, so you definitely seem to be of the Nerd persuasion. So tell me what other clubs are you in, Comic Books, Gaming, Anime/Manga?

Brian: Oh you mean the Entertainment and Hobby clubs? No… I’ve considered the idea before but… you see… my mother doesn’t want me to be in those clubs. My mother has forbidden me to go into any of these clubs so I won’t be looking at any “explicit material”.

Bender: Ah I see your Mom has got you in a real tight leash huh?

Brian: Yeah…

Bender: I see… my sympathies.

(Meanwhile in Principal Dick’s office he was about to enjoy a cup of coffee with his sandwich until some coffee grounds poured out.)

Principal Dick: Damn it!

(Then as Principal Dick walked out of his office and noticed the door to the Library closed.)

Principal Dick: What the hell?

(Meanwhile back inside the Detention room.)

Principal Dick (os): BENDER!

Bender: Ah shit, well the party is over.

(Then Dick opened up the door in an angered huff and stormed his way in.)

Principal Dick: Why is the door closed? In fact why is this door not staying open? 

(As Dick is now trying to use open the door and get it to stay open and is failing miserably at first. Then Dick tries to open the door and get it to stay open with a nearby folding chair but it’s not enough to keep the door open.)

Principal Dick: You, Andrew Clark, get up here.

Andy: Yes sir

(As Andy got out of his seat)

Bender: So Andy gets to get up? What's next are the rest of us going to get up? Why it would be anarchy.

(As Dick is starting to grab the Magazine Rack)

Principal Dick: You help me put this in front of the door alright?

(And they did put the Magazine rack in the doorway to try to keep the door open, except that now Andy is having trouble trying to get back inside.)

Bender: Yeah that’s real brilliant Dick…

(And both Andy and Principal Dick briefly glared at him.)

Bender: Oh I am sorry I meant Richard, anyways are you sure you want to do this? I mean wouldn’t this be quite the fire hazard? Granted I’m sure you would love to watch me burn to a crisp but you wouldn’t want to endanger the lives of these children, especially at this point in your career.

(Now Principal Dick is now looking rather angry at Andy.)

Principal Dick: What are you doing? I can’t believe your incompetence, now put this back in its proper place! I expected better from a Varsity Letterman.

(As Andy is pushing the Magazine Rack back inside)

Andy (bitterly): Yes sir.

Principal Dick: Alright Bender, what happened to the screws on the door?

Bender: I don’t know what you mean sir.

Principal Dick: You know exactly what I mean Bender! That door didn’t move by itself you know.

Bender: I don’t know sir the world is a pretty screwy place screws fall out all the time. Besides this old place is not exactly well built so who knows maybe the screws really did fall off. After all we were all supposed to be sitting here in our seats right?

Principal Dick: You’re not fooling anyone Bender! Do you think I was born yesterday? It’s obvious that you messed up the door.

Bender: Excuse me sir but contrary to popular opinion I actually have learned some things in school in subjects such as the US Legal System. Namely I remember certain concepts like “Innocent until proven Guilty”, does that ring a bell?

Principal Dick: Don’t give me that, you better start talking before I start cracking skulls!

Bender: Sure you would.

Principal Dick: Oh really well then since you don’t want to talk… *as he points to Allison* You!

Allison: Hmm? 

Principal Dick: Perhaps you can help shed a little light here as I know very well that you happen to be Bender’s little accomplice here. Tell me what happened to the door?

Allison: I dunno I was sitting here the whole time.

Principal Dick: Oh really? 

Brian: Actually sir she is right she was indeed sitting at her desk chair this whole time.

Andy: Yeah she has been sitting there the whole time.

Principal Dick: You two stay out of this!

Bender: Hey how about we go back to me huh? Since we have such a loving healthy relationship here right?

Principal Dick: Alright then are you going to confess with messing up the door here?

Bender: Oh eat my shorts…

Principal Dick: What did you say? 

Bender: Eat. My. Shorts!

Principal Dick: That’s it you just got yourself another detention.

Bender: Oh it’s such a darn shame.

Principal Dick: Another! You want another?

Bender: Oh sure big daddy I’d like some more punishment I mean I have been a bad boy so please hurt me more.

Principal Dick: Well in that case you will be having detention for the next few weeks, how does that sound?

Bender: Oh goody just what I always wanted, but I got to check with my secretary to see if I will be free that next Saturday in my schedule. Well?

Allison: Hmm… Yes I believe you will be free that Saturday a few weeks from now Mr. Bender.

Bender: Thank you kindly Ms. Reynolds.

Allison: You’re welcome Mr. B.

Principal Dick: You want me to drag your little accomplice into this Bender while you have another Detention? Do you?

Bender: Oh please weren’t you planning on doing that from the start?

Principal Dick: Yes well the point still stands that I am practically doing society a favor here as I have you here for the rest of your natural life!

Bender: Oh I’m so crushed.

Principal Dick: And that’s another detention for you.

Bender: Oh go roll me in the clover, over.

Andy: *snicker*

Principal Dick: Excuse me Mr. Clark? But did I just hear you laugh? Do think he is funny? Do you think he is “bitching” or something? Do you three have any idea what happens to people like Bender? Mark my words in 5 years Mr. Bender is going to rot away in prison do you want to end up like him?

(As he is looking at Andy, Claire and Brian)

Principal Dick: Listen to me and listen to me well you three, you three still have a chance to become decent law abiding citizens. While Bender here has basically thrown any chance he has of becoming a decent human being ages ago. It’s bad enough that Ms. Reynolds has decided to follow in his sociopath delinquent ways the last thing I need is for you three to follow suit. 

Bender: Oh please.

Principal Dick: Are you through Mr. Bender?

Bender: No

Principal Dick: Then how’s about another detention then?!

Bender: How about we play a little game of Fuck Off, you go first!

Principal Dick: How many detentions have I given you Bender?

Brian: 7, sir.

Principal Dick: What?

Brian: 7, the first one was when Bender made that Barry Manilow joke at your expense. The 2nd one was from when Bender used that old line that he got from the Simpsons and the rest quickly came in from there.

Bender (thinking, smirking): Old line that I got from the Simpsons? Oh you poor naïve little boy.

Principal Dick: Shut up, Pee-Wee.

Brian: Yes sir. 

Principal Dick: Anyways like I said before if any of you three have any sense then you will make sure that you don’t end up like this lowly waste of space here! I mean it, if I have to come back in here I am going to start cracking skulls!

(Then as Principal Dick storms out of the room.)

Bender: FUCK YOU!

(Then for a few moments after that little incident there it was silent as Bender was looking away with an upset look on his face while Andy, Claire and Brian were looking at their papers with an uneasy expression on their faces. Allison had a rather concerned look on her face as she was looking at Bender. Then Allison got off her chair and walked over to Bender and then said.)  
Allison (singing): Here come old flattop  
He come groovin' up slowly  
He got joo-joo eyeball  
He one holy roller  
He got hair down to his knees  
Got to be a joker  
He just do what he please  
(Bender was starting to have a small smile on his face.)  
Allison: Shactacacacaca…  
Allison: He wear no shoeshine  
He got…  
Allison & Bender: Toe jam football!  
Allison: He got monkey finger  
He shoot…  
Allison & Bender: Coca Cola!  
Allison: He say…  
Allison & Bender (While pointing at each-other): I know you, you know me  
Bender: One thing I can tell you is  
You got to be free  
(As Bender and Allison put their arms around each-other)  
Allison & Bender: Come together, right now  
Over me!  
(Brian claps for their performance as Andy and Claire did have a small smile on their faces.)  
Bender: Thank you, thank you you’re too kind, we’ll be here all week.  
(A short while later in the Detention Room)

Andy (as he is now looking at Claire): So tell me what's your name?

Claire: Claire, Claire Standish.

Andy: Ah that’s a nice name, I’m Andrew Clark I’m a Varsity Letterman for the School’s Wrestling Team.

Claire: Ah yes Andrew Clark, some of my friends have told me about you and I suppose I could understand some of the things they have said about you.

Andy: I see, interesting, ever watched any of the Wrestling matches here at School?

Claire: No I haven’t seen any of them yet I normally don’t think too much about sports. But I suppose that could change…

Andy: Ah I see, say there is a party next weekend with no parents I’m sure I can get you an invitation.

Claire: That’s nice and I am tempted but I’m not sure if I can get a chance to do so.

Andy: Oh really? Let me guess that “no parents” is going to be a deal breaker huh? I mean you don’t have to tell them that little detail you know.

Claire: I know but my parents are recently going into a divorce and they can’t stand each-other. My mother is too busy drinking while my father tries to spoil me but I think he is only doing this to spite my mother. To be honest I don’t think either one of them gives a shit about me.

Andy: I see, so who would you rather live with, your mother or your father?

Claire: *sigh* I dunno… maybe my brother, I mean sure we don’t do much nowadays but still. Anyways my parents are being such a hassle to me lately I am not sure if I can be able to get to that party.

Andy: Oh come on Claire don’t you think your being a little too short-sighted?

Claire: What's that suppose to mean?

Andy: Calm down I didn’t mean anything bad about it. All I am saying is that this situation is not as hopeless as you think it is.

Claire: Really? How so?

Andy: Well you just said that your Mom is a drunkard and your dad tries to spoil you to spite your mom huh? Well then if your Mom is such a boozer then wouldn’t she be too drunk to deny you the chance to go to a party? And if your mom does forbid you to go to this party then you can always ask your dad instead. I mean based on what you’ve told me your dad seems to be the kind of guy who wants to be the “cool” parent right? Well then if your dad likes to spoil you to spite your mom then he could “secretly” allow you to go, wouldn’t that be a great way to spite your mom?

Claire: Wow that’s… actually a really good idea, thank you.

Andy: You’re welcome.

(Then we hear a few pages from a book being torn off.)

Claire (startled): Ah! What the…

(Now Claire and Andy notice Bender is sitting on a rail tearing off pages from a book.)

Claire: What the hell?

Andy: Ah yes that’s real intelligent of you.

Claire: Seriously what are you doing? 

(Bender then briefly looked at her shrugged his shoulders and went back to tearing pages off that book. Then Andy had a little smirk on his face.)

Andy: Hey Claire apparently somebody left the TV on and it’s on the Discovery Channel.

Claire: Oh really?

Andy: Yeah apparently they have another one of those documentaries about cavemen and look there is one now.

Claire: *giggle* Oh my, what a nasty looking creature.

Bender: Unga Bunga, and me without spear to hunt down wild douche jock.

Andy: Oh come now Bender ever heard of the old phrase “Turnabout is Fair Play”?

Bender: I see…

Claire: Anyways why are you tearing that book up?

Bender: For the same reason why I do many other things in life, bored. After all… “Molay” really pumps my nads.

Claire: It’s Moliere.

Bender: Moldy air? Why yes this does seem rather moldy.

Claire: I said Moliere you uncultured swine, Jean-Baptiste Poquelin is a famous French playwright from the 1600’s who is known by his stage name Moliere. You shouldn’t be tearing up classic literature like that.

Brian: Oh are you familiar with Moliere’s work as well? I’ve always been fond of his work.

Bender: Tch, whatever…

Andy: Oh don’t bother trying to reason with him Claire I mean look at it him, like he would know anything about being cultured.

Bender: Oh yes Sporto what would a grungy looking guy like me know anything about being more cultured huh?

Andy: Well considering that you don’t even know how to pronounce “Moliere” that seemed to be a rather fair assessment.

Bender: Oh that’s true… Besides I’m more into the likes of Maurice LeBlanc and to a lesser extent Victor Hugo. Je suis le voleur gentilhomme de France! (I am the Gentleman Thief of France!) 

(Andy, Claire and Brian’s eyes bulged in shock as Allison smiles at the sight of their shocked faces.) 

Bender: So your name is Claire huh?

Claire: Yeah it’s a family name, what about it?

Bender: So your name is Claire as in Éclair? It sounds like a fat girl’s name.

Claire: Well that’s real nice, I’m not fat.

Bender: Obviously, in fact you’re probably a little too thin if you know what I mean.

Claire: What's that suppose to mean you pervert?!

Bender: So defensive, but hey if your going to be so insecure then here is a little bit of advice. If you are going to try to “fill out” in the future try to do it naturally, because breasts implants never turn out right.

Claire (Slight blush): Screw you; I would never do such a thing.

Bender: Uh-huh, sure you wouldn’t. But hey I understand that you don’t want to try to gain a cup size or two. After all there are those skinny little legs of yours to consider here. Let me guess you want to make sure you don’t have any back problems in the future? I totally understand.

(Claire gives him the finger.)

Bender: Oh my, such hostility here and I was being so civil too. But still it’s so surprising to see such a vulgar hand gesture from such a pristine girl.

Claire: I’m not that pristine.

Bender: I see, Oh you really are quite the peace of work huh? You’re so uptight and defensive. Not too mention insecure, so tell me? Are you a virgin?

Claire: What?

Bender: Oh I know that look, it says “Of course I am a Virgin you sexist prick!” but don’t worry Red, I believe you.

Claire: Oh really?

Bender: Yeah, I doubt you would even let a guy go near you, at least not openly. You are probably trying to be an uptight prude just for the sake of your image. *ahem* (As he is now speaking in an Austrian accent) What we are seeing here is a very repressed young fraulein who has quite the sexual tension issues.

Claire: Sexual tension issues? What the hell are you… *as she is now really disgusted* never mind!

Bender: Ah come on now Claire you should be happy, I mean at least we know it would be a white wedding when you get older right?

(Then Claire gives him the finger twice as Bender has a big smile on his face seeing that.) 

Andy: Leave her alone.

Bender: Hmm?

Andy: Didn’t you hear me ass-wipe? I said leave her alone.

Bender: What? I can’t play psychoanalyst on her? Such a shame since I was only trying to give her some constructive criticism.

Andy: Oh bullshit you were harassing her and you know it. You know if it wasn’t for the fact that we are in school I would so waste you.

Bender: Sure you would, so you want to cordially invite me to an ass-kicking huh? I see, so are you going to bring any of your jock buddies to this ass-kicking? Hmm?

Andy: No, just me as I can easily knock your sorry punk ass down.

Bender: Is that so?

Andy: Yeah, with two hits, me hitting you and you hitting the ground got that?

Bender (as he is lightly tapping Andy’s face): Whatever you say Sporto…

(Then Andy grabs Bender’s hand)

Bender: What the…

(Then Bender grabs Bender and forces Bender on the ground pinning him.)

Allison: *gasp* Bender!

Bender (grunting): Don’t worry; I got this, look Sporto I don’t want to get into this with you alright?

(Then as Andy let’s go of him.)

Andy: Why not?

Bender: Because I can easily kill your sorry ass. But while the world can surely go for having one less asshole jock but sadly despite that killing you would case nothing but all sorts of legal trouble on my part. And quite frankly Sporto you’re not worth it.

(As Andy looks away in disgust)

Andy: *tch* Chicken-shit

(Then as Bender pulled his switchblade out, in which Andy, Claire and Brian were somewhat surprised. Then Bender stabbed it on one of the nearby desks.)

Andy: Listen asshole I’m only going to say this once, you don’t touch her, you don’t look at her and you don’t even think about her! Got it?!

(Meanwhile as Andy was shouting at Bender, Allison gleefully grabbed the knife from the table with a smile on her face.)

Bender: Got it, whatever you say Sporto. *sigh* Young people they never seem to take criticism well.

(Then moments later a man with a receding hairline by the name of Carl is now entering the room.)

Carl: Oh hey there Brian didn’t expect to see you here.

Brian: Oh hello there Mr. Reed, yeah it’s kind of a long story…

Allison: Hi Carl

Carl: Hey there Allison, you still like to hang around here huh?

Bender: Morning you almost forty year old virgin.

Carl: Morning you obnoxious degenerate sociopath. Oh Allison I sometimes wonder why is a quirky nice girl like you doing with a shameless sleazy punk like him I’ll never know.

Bender (pretending to hold a phone): Hello police, I see an aging Janitor with a receding hairline making passes at an underage student you might want to come over quick. 

Carl: Oh trust me Bender I’m sure you will rot away in prison long before I do.

Allison: Now girls you’re both pretty.

Bender: Oh yes but I am the prettier one right Allie May?

Claire: Excuse me sir but you know these 3?

Carl: Sort of, I normally see Brian at Study Hall especially when he is working on his Science Projects. *As he is pointing at Bender and Allison* These two on the other hand I see them all the time here at Detention especially this sleaze over here. But don’t worry kids Bender may try to talk tough but trust me he is totally harmless.

Andy: Heh heh oh I can attest to that sir.

Bender (in a nasally sarcastic tone): Oh I can attest to that sir.

Carl: Oh no need to get snippy there Bender I know plenty about you but then again I know plenty about what goes on in this school. I read your notes that you throw away and the stuff you write on the walls, I am the eyes and ears of this school.

Bender: Carl you’re a Janitor not a fucking Ninja alright?

Brian: Actually Mr. Bender, while the Shinobi are actually well known for being seemingly normal household cleaners and workers. I mean sure when we think of Ninja we think of assassins dressed all in black. But in real life Ninja would normally dress like common household workers and get their information while they do their daily chores. 

Carl: Thank you Brian.

Brian: You’re welcome Mr. Reed.

*Then as Carl notices Bender sticking his tongue out at him.*

Carl: Oh Bender you always were such a paragon of maturity huh? Alright I’ve had my fun with you munchkins for now so I better get back to work see you all later.

(Then after Carl leaves the room, time seems to be passing fairly slowly as most of the students there seem to be quite bored. Andy is busy playing around with his Varsity Jacket; Clair is busy looking over her colored nails while Brian is hanging his head low trying not to sleep. However Bender is trying to take a peek at Allison as she is making one of her drawings in which this drawing is of a nice little house nearby a bridge in which she even shook some dandruff out of her hair for a “snowy” effect. But as minutes passed and passed all of the students looked increasingly bored out of their minds. But it was close to Noon when Mr. Vernon came in at the Detention room.)

Principal Dick: So… who here needs to go to the lavatory?

(They all raised their hands.)

Principal Dick: Alright you all have about 3 minutes to use the restroom so go.

(Now at the boys room as Bender and Andy are using the Urinals.)

Bender: Hey Sporto I just realized something where’s the little dork?

Brian (os): I’m here in the stall Mr. Bender.

Bender: Then what are you doing in there instead of out here? I’m just curious why you’re the odd man out here.

Brian (os): My mother has told me that public urinals are rather indecent.

Bender: Indecent? Eh don’t worry little buddy, I’m sure that your not Sporto’s type. Well at least I’m pretty sure.

Andy: Oh fuck off…

Bender: No thanks I am not that kind of guy.

Brian (os): Actually it’s because she finds Public Bathrooms to be horribly unsanitary. 

Bender: Well first of all wouldn’t using a urinal be safer? I mean the lever is the only part your skin has to actually touch.

Brian (os): Really? I… I never thought of that…

Bender: You never thought of that? Really kid?

Andy: Oh leave him alone, besides the sanitary condition in Public Restrooms is a perfectly legitimate concern.

Bender: Yeah for Parks, Outhouses and god awful gas stations but in case you two didn’t realize this place is actually normal. If this place was a disgusting health hazard you would know, trust me. Besides the whole point is moot anyway, the Toilet is normally supposedly one of the cleanest things you find in a home anyways.

Andy: Yeah well as much as I enjoy this oh so stimulating conversation lets just finish up and go okay?

Bender: Whatever you say Sporto.

(Meanwhile at the Girls Bathroom Claire was busy washing her hands and checking herself out on the mirror. Claire seemed to be perfectly calm at first until she heard a somewhat loud crunch.)

Claire: The Hell?

(She kept hearing a few more crunches until she noticed that it came from a nearby bathroom stall.)

Claire: Wha… What are you doing?

Allison (os): Having a little snack.

Claire: Having a little snack huh? Let me get this straight, you are eating something while on the toilet.

Allison: Yep, want some? 

Claire (trying to hide her disgust): No… no thank you.

Allison: Okay, your loss…

Claire (under her breath): Oh the sooner I get out of this hellhole the better… *shudder*

(Now a short while later as Mr. Vernon and the Students are now back in the Detention Room.)

Principal Dick: Alright students you will now break for Lunch, any questions?

Brian: Yes sir, are we going to the Cafeteria?

Principal Dick: No you will be staying here.

Claire: But what about drinks? I have a low tolerance for dehydration you know.

Andy: I’ve seen her dehydrate before sir, it’s pretty gross.

Bender: Relax, I’ll get them.

Principal Dick: Uh-uh, grab some wood there Bud.

Bender: Why Dick I didn’t know you cared.

Principal Dick: Shut it, anyways…

*As he is now pointing at Andrew Clark*

Principal Dick: You, Andrew Clark, get up you will be going to the nearby Vending Machines to get some Sodas. But I will be sending you with someone… Hmm…

*Andy is trying to point at Claire until…*

Principal Dick (pointing at Allison): You!

Allison (as she ducks her head down): Eep!

Bender: She is not exactly talkative sir.

Principal Dick: Liar, I know very well that your accomplice here can be very talkative when she wants to be.

Bender: Well in that case wouldn’t it be a better idea that I come with her then? What with her being my “accomplice” and all?

Principal Dick: And let you roam around these halls? Not a chance! I remember the last time I’ve let you two roam the halls before. Besides it might do Allison here some good to actually spend some time away from you even if it’s only a short while so get going you two.

Andy: Yes sir

(Now Allison and Andy are alone walking in the halls to the vending machine, Andy has a slightly awkward look on his face while Allison has a more melancholic expression on her face.)

Andy: So… nice day huh? So your name is Allison right? That’s a nice name…

*Awkward Silence*

Andy: I see… So… What's your Poison? *Awkward Silence* You probably already know that I am from the Varsity Wrestling Team, so ever watched any of the Wrestling Matches? *More Silence* Ever… watched any of the sports games here at School?

(Allison took a brief look at Andy then looked away.)

Andy: Why are you ignoring me? I mean I’m trying to have a conversation with you. Okay apparently you’re not a sports fan, I suppose it’s rather obvious but couldn’t you at least give me a response, Hmm?

Allison: I have nothing to say Sporto it’s as simple as that.

Andy: Oh you want to be like that then huh? Fine, be like that then!

Allison: Hmph!

(Andy was initially annoyed by Allison’s cold attitude towards him until he noticed Allison’s rather sad melancholic expression on her face as she sulks in the corner. And now Andy slightly feels guilty about this as he is now approaching her.)

Andy: Look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot here. I’m sorry I got annoyed like that, I understand that you are apparently a little shy with people you don’t know and I understand that.

(Now Andy is putting his hand on Allison’s shoulder in which Allison’s eyes start to bulge in shock.)

Andy: Listen, I’m not such a bad guy once you get to know me. So why not calm down so we can take things nice and slow.

Allison: AH!

(Allison panicked and got herself free from Andy’s grasp then she backed away from him with a terrified look on her face.)

Andy: What? What's wrong? I…

Carl (os): What's going on out there?

Allison: Carl?

(Then Carl walks in the scene in which Allison immediately heads over to Carl holding on to him.)

Carl: Allison, are you okay?

Allison: Uh-huh…

Andy: Look sir, I’ve barely touched her. You have got to believe me!

Carl: Alright you what’s going on here? I want some answers now.

Andy: Look. Principal Vernon sent us to go to the nearby vending machine to get some sodas. I tried to make some small talk but she kept ignoring me and I got annoyed. But when I tried to apologize she freaked out for some reason. Now mind telling me what's going on here?

(Carl had a rather uneasy look at his face as he noticed how scared Allison is.)

Carl: Allison, why don’t you go on up ahead and we will meet you at the Vending Machine and I will make sure you have enough change for the Sodas. Okay?

Allison: Okay…

(As she leaves the scene) 

Andy: Listen sir, I’m telling you the truth I barely touched her at all.

Carl: Listen kid I’m not saying that you’re a liar but all I am saying is that please don’t mind her. She has some certain… issues alright? 

Andy: Okay…

Carl: Good now lets meet up with her.

(Meanwhile back inside the Detention Room, Bender was feeling somewhat anxious looking at the door. But then he noticed on how Brian and Claire are nearby looking rather bored in which Bender had a devious smile on his face as he has an idea on how to get his mind off his slight anxiety here.)

Bender: Hey Dork…

Brian: Yeah?

Bender: Tell me, ever had any lady friends in your life there buddy boy?

Brian: Well uh… uh… I… I know of this girl when I was at the Niagara Falls last summer, if I remember correctly she is from Canada.

Bender: Ah the old “Girlfriend in Canada” story huh? You do realize that nowadays only gay guys who are really in the closet would use that excuse right? But I suppose it’s nice to see that the old “claim my imaginary girlfriend is from Canada” excuse is still alive and well.

Brian: Imaginary? No… no of course not! I got laid plenty of times before and with other girls too.

Bender: Really? So tell me do you have any lady friends in mind here at this school?

Brian: Well… *as he shifts his eyes toward Claire*

Bender: I see… Hey Red I didn’t know that you and dorkburger have done it before.

Claire: What?

Brian: What?!

Bender: Oh yeah I was just talking with this ladies man about how he has been screwing plenty of Canadian chicks. But apparently according to Brian here you have dropped your panties for him in the past as well. 

Claire: That is so not true! I can’t believe you would say such a thing Brian, I thought you were better than that.

Brian: I didn’t say that! I never actually said anything like that! You got to believe me.

Bender: Oh I don’t know, you told me about how you have got laid several times with some Canadian ladies. And hey I am well aware that there are plenty of hotties in Canada I won’t deny that. However Brian when I asked whether if you have any lady friends here in the states you was shifting your eyes towards her. So what can I say dorky I know how to put 2 and 2 together.

Claire: Oh really?

Brian: I… I didn’t mean it like that! Honest!

Bender: You know the more I am having this conversation the more I am starting to recognize you dork. Say Brian aren’t you the guy who once shown a bunch of guys a pair of panties you somehow managed to snatch a while back? I bet those panties were hers right?

Claire: You stole a pair of my panties?!

Brian: WHAT?! NO! No of course not! I never grabbed a girl’s panties before in my life!

Bender (as he is pointing his finger in the air): Objection! *ahem* So you’ve got laid several times and yet you’ve never touched a girl’s panties before? My what a curious little conundrum this is huh?

(Then Claire looked at Brian who was incredibly nervous while he she notices Bender having a smug smile on his face.)

Claire: You know what Brian I do believe you.

Brian: You do?

Bender: Wait… You do?

Claire: Yeah Brian here seems to be a nice boy who doesn’t get his kicks by riling people up, unlike you. I should’ve figured that it was obvious that you would make a bunch of shit up just to make us upset.

Bender: Now, now I may have added in my own interpretations over certain things but he did claim that he has a girlfriend in Canada and that he got laid several times. Despite the fact that just now he claims that he has never got his hands on any panties before. 

Claire: Is that true? 

Brian: *sigh* Yeah… well I… I didn’t want you all to think that I am a virgin.

Bender: You’re a virgin? No, I never would’ve guessed.

Claire: Yeah well I for one think that there is no shame in being a virgin. Contrary to what some people may think most High School students are Virgins and stay that way until they become adults.

Brian: Really?

Claire: Of course after all Brian you seem to be a nice boy. And I know for a fact that not all men are obnoxious sleazy perverts like you Bender.

Bender: Perhaps, but you know Brian if you were a bit more honest right from the start then perhaps we wouldn’t be having this little conversation here huh? But don’t worry little buddy I’m sure you’ll get into a girl’s panties like a big boy in no time.

Claire: Oh will you shut up? You would’ve harassed him anyways even if he did tell you that he is a Virgin right from the start. *as she is now holding him* Oh yeah and another thing stop treating him like a little kid, he is just as much of a young adult as you are.

Brian (thinking): Oh wow… she’s defending me… and… *gulp* touching me…

(As Bender is looking away with a small proud smile on his face)

Bender: Whatever you say Red…

(A short while later, Andy and Allison are back with the drinks namely on how they will all got a can of coke each. Andy placed the cans down in a nearby desk as Bender, Brian and Claire got theirs while Bender tosses a can over at Allison in which she catches it. But then Claire pulls something out of her lunch bag namely a small container containing Sushi and Soy Sauce and is setting it up. However she notices how Bender was giving her an odd look.)

Claire: What? You never seen a Sushi plate before?

(But then Claire noticed on how Allison was standing in front of her with a strange smile on her face.)

Allison: Kon'nichiwa Kurea-chan, kyō wa migi bendā-kun son'na sutekina hidesu! (Good afternoon Claire chan, today is such a nice day right Bender kun?

Bender: Ā hai arison-chan, kyō wa tashika ni kono yōna yoi tsuitachidearu. Sono Kurea-chan ga tekisetsuna shokuji o shite inai koto wa zan'nen. (Oh yes Allison chan, today is such a nice day indeed. It’s too bad that Claire chan is not having a proper meal.)

Allison: Watashi ga imi suru koto de gōi doko takou~inī wa nanidesu ka? Teriyakichikin? Rāmen? Ikutsu ka no udon? Aruiwa ikutsu ka no okonomiyaki? (Agreed I mean where are the Octopus weenies? Teriyaki Chicken? Ramen? Some Udon? Or even some Okonomiyaki?)

Claire: Andy what the hell is going on here?

Andy: Okay you two we get it, apparently you two somehow know how to speak Japanese.

Bender: Mazushī damu gaijin wa, karera wa watashitachi o rikai suru koto wa dekimasenshi, karera wa wareware ga orokada to omou? Sono omoshiroi monode wa arimasen ka? (Poor dumb Gaijin, they can't understand us and they think we're stupid? Isn't that funny or what?)

Allison: Watashi wa sore wa karera ga watashitachi o sukidenai yō zan'nenda, bendā-kun o shitte iru. (I know Bender kun, it's such a shame they are not like us.)

(And they both have a good laugh)

Brian: Jissai ni... Watashi mo nihongo o hanasu hōhō o shitte iru. (Actually... I know how to speak Japanese too.)

(And they all look at him slightly surprised.)

Brian: Ē to... * Ehen* ... Watashi wa Buraian• Jonsondesu. Watashi wa nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasushi, watashi mo hoka no samazamana gengo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu. (Uh... *ahem*... I am Brian Johnson. I can speak Japanese and I can speak various other languages too.)

Bender: Impressive, most impressive.

Allison: Indeed

Claire: Okay what the hell is this about? I mean okay I can see Brian here being able to speak Japanese. I mean he is really smart but you two? How in the world do you two know how to speak Japanese?

Allison: Rosetta Stone.

Bender: That and we know of a really good Japanese restaurant nearby. 

Claire: Okay but still you two do know that you’re not Japanese right?

Allison: And yet you’re the one who brought in some Sushi right?

Claire: Hey I know I’m not Japanese okay? Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind this stuff but my parents are on this health food kick. I mean yes I am thin but my parents are trying to make sure I stay that way. Okay?

(Then Andy pulls out the food in his bag, namely a bag of Chocolate Chip cookies, a loaf of bread, a jar of Peanut Butter, a big bag of chips, and a package of donuts and more.)

Allison: Whoa…

Bender: Yeah… Let me guess Sporto did you rob a convenience store on the way over here?

Andy: No I did not this happens to be a part of my diet okay?

Bender: Diet? Eh hah hah ha… Look Sporto don’t get me wrong I always believed that the old Atkins plan was complete bullshit and all that but how is all of this a diet? 

Allison: Yeah I don’t see any pot within this pile of food here.

Bender: Ah yeah Allie May we know plenty of pot heads who would love to get their hands on this nice stash of munchies here huh?

Andy: Well I don’t have any pot on me okay? I often consume a lot of carbs everyday and besides I didn’t have all that much time to have breakfast this morning. All I had this morning was to get a little juice in my system before I left to go here.

Allison: Juiced? Does that mean he has a small package?

Bender: Oh I don’t doubt that, I don’t doubt that at all.

Allison: Oh you must be so disappointed Claire.

Bender: Ah yeah I hope you like the taste of raisins and a Tootsie Roll there Red.

Claire (with a slight blush): Shu…shut up!

Andy: That’s enough! First of all I said “juice” not “juiced” as in Fruit Juice. But I am going to be the bigger man and have my lunch here Bender. Besides I have no intention on getting into a dick measuring contest with you.

Bender: Why? Because you’re afraid you’d come up short?

Andy: Can’t I eat in peace?

Bender: Hey if you can eat all of that, sure. Oh where is Adam Richman when you need him?

Claire: Yeah that is an awful lot of food.

(Andy was getting slightly annoyed by this at first until he had a small smile on his face as he reached into his bag to grab a package for Claire.)

Andy: Croissants, for Milady?

Claire (in an excited, higher pitched voice): Oh Yummy! Gimme gimme! I love croissants! Oh thank you, thank you!

Andy: You’re quite welcome milady.

(As Claire gleefully devours the croissants until she notices Bender and Allison smirking at her.)

Claire (slightly embarrassed and blushing): What? So… so I have a little thing for French Cuisine okay? Besides don’t you two have a lunch to eat?

Bender: Nope, but if you like you can be a part of my lunch.

Claire (really disgusted): No… I’d rather not.

Allison: Eh you don’t need to bother with her Bender; I mean she barely has any meat on her bones so I doubt she would taste any good.

Bender: True…

Allison: Besides I got my lunch right here.

Bender: Score lets see what you got. 

(Then those two head over to Allison’s desk as she gets a sandwich out of her bag. Allison has a rather disappointed look on her face.)

Allison: Boring

Bender: I know; why your parents still get that shitty deli meat I’ll never know.

(Then Allison picks out the cold cuts out of her sandwich bread and throws them away in which one of the slices of meat hits the statue in the library/detention room in the face.)

Bender: Nice shot slugger.

(Then Allison gives a gleeful little smile with one of her thumbs up. After that Allison grabs a bag of Captain Crunch cereal pieces as she places them on the slices of bread and pours some sugar on them then has a nice big bite of her new sandwich.)

Bender: Interesting, say Allie May mind if I have a small smackerel?

(And she did let Bender have a bite and he appeared to be rather satisfied with the sandwich.)

Bender: Hmm… this is good, shame we don’t have any Peanut Butter and Chocolate or at least Peanut Butter that would make this even better.

Allison: That does sound nice but as much as I like Peanut Butter and Chocolate wouldn’t those flavors overpower the sugar a bit?

Bender: Good point, though say Allie May speaking of Sugar I noticed that you brought plenty of it. However you don’t seem to have the proper utensils for it.

Allison: Oh…

(As Allison puts her left hand up to her mouth as she is looking at Bender.)

Allison (in a really cutesy tone): I’m sorry… nyoro-n.

Bender (as he pats her on the head): That’s okay little lady it turns out that I have the proper utensils with me.

(Bender whips out a couple of Pixie Sticks Straws.)

Allison: Yipee Skipee!

(Then Bender and Allison grabbed their straws and began snorting the sugar like it was cocaine. Needless to say Andy, Brian and Claire had rather surprised looks on their faces for this then as they were done snorting that sugar.)

Bender: Ah this be some quality Pixie Stix, Pure Columbian.

Allison: Ah yeah this be some good sheet man.

Bender (as he grabs his Coke can): Ah yes here is to our Coke, cheers!

Allison (as she slightly tips his can with hers): Kampai!

(As they both had a swig of Coke then Allison accidentally spilled a little bit of Soda on her desk.)

Allison: Uh oh…

(Then she slouches down and sips on the soda on the desk with her tongue like a kitty.)

Bender: Good kitty

Allison: Meow, mew *purr*

(Then after watching everyone else with their lunches, Brian tries to get into his lunch as he pulls out his sandwich and a couple of drinks. And just when Brian thought he was going to have his lunch in peace.)

Bender: What are we having here?

Brian (startled): Ah!

Allison (as she slips a note on Brian’s pocket): Hi there my little Milk and Cookies.

Brian: Mi…Milk and Cookies? *as he is now noticing Bender looking at his lunch* Hey what are you doing? That’s my Apple Juice.

Bender: I can read and don’t worry skipper I won’t deprive you of your “appily juice” (now as he reaches in Brian’s Lunch Bag)

Brian: Eh hey eh…

(As Bender lightly slaps Brian’s hand as he pulls out a fairly big Thermos.)

Bender: Milk?

Brian: Actually it’s Soup.

Bender: Well Brian this is a rather nutritious lunch. All the food groups are neatly represented here. Tell me did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

Brian: Eh… no Mr. Johnson.

Allison: Aw your just so sadorable my little Milk and Cookies. Ah Bender can we keep him?

Bender: Well I have considered the idea of us getting a pet; alright as long as you agree to help me make sure he gets plenty of food and water and to keep his litter box clean.

Allison: Yea!

Brian: Huh?

Bender: You know little buddy you may not realize this but Allie and I have dabbled a bit in the fine sciences as well.

Brian: Really?

Allison: Ah yes there was this time we had a little bit of fun with our Science Project.

(We are now looking into a flashback of Bender and Allison teleporting into a grass-like plain.)

Allison: I wonder where we are.

Bender: According to our little device here it says “Berserk”.

Allison: Think that could be a bad thing?

Bender: I don’t know perhaps we should look into this a bit more.

(Then all of a sudden the sky turns red and suddenly the plains turn red and are covered with tormented faces.)

Bender: On 2nd thought perhaps we should go…

Allison: Yes, yes we should…

(Then Bender kept trying to push some buttons and turn some dials, until both of them teleported out of there and are now in a barren desert land.)

Allison: *coughing* Where are we now?

Bender: *coughing* Let me take a look here… It says “Now & Then, Here and There”.

Allison: Now & Then, Here and There?

(Allison and Bender looked slightly confused at first then their eyes bulged in terror)

Allison (as she is holding on to him): C’mon Bender, get us out of here! 

Bender (panicky): I’m trying! I’m trying!

(Then as he figured out how to teleport them out of there those two have teleported into a very strange looking world now filled with various odd looking creatures.)

Allison: Oh wow is this…

Bender: Yep, Bobobobo-bobobo

Allison: Awesome! Let’s have some fun!

Bender: Ah yeah!

(Now as the flashback scene ends.)

Brian: Did any of that really happen?

Bender: I suppose so I mean after all you are a Nerd so I suppose you would know what I am talking about right?

Brian: Actually…. No I don’t…

Bender: Really? Hmm… Perhaps that was a little too Japanese for you… *ahem* May the Force be with you.

Allison: Klaktu Verada Nikto

Bender (as he hands Brian a stick of Purple Chewing Gum): Bah Weep Granah Weep Nini Bong!

Brian (as he grabs the stick of gum): Bah Weep Granah Weep Nini Bong?

Bender: Bah Weep Granah Weep Nini Bong!

Allison: Bah Weep Granah Weep Nini Bong! Yeah destroy Unicron! Kill the Grand Poobah! Eliminate even the Toughest Stains!

Brian: Huh?

Allison (as she is doing the Vulcan Hand Gesture): Live Long and Prosper.

Bender (as he is imitating Bender the Robot): Bite my shiny metal ass.

(Brian and Claire looked rather confused at Bender while Andy rolled his eyes as he had a small smirk on his face.)

Bender: Perhaps that was a little too obvious, but I couldn’t help myself.

(Then as he notices on how Brian is still looking at him really confused.)

Bender: Nothing? Ah man and you call yourself a Nerd? Ah please Allie and I are probably bigger geeks than you.

Allison: Ah but don’t worry my little Milk and Cookies, if you like we can change that for you.

Brian: Oh… kay but why do you keep calling me that?

Allison: Because its fun.

Claire: Yeah well he happens to have a name, isn’t that right Brian?

Brian: Yeah, thank you Claire.

Andy: Now will you two please stop harassing him? We are trying to eat our lunches here.

Claire: Now Brian would you like to come over and sit with us?

Andy: Yeah come away from the Crazy People Brian, so you don’t get any of their crazy.

Bender: So you don’t get any of their crazy huh? Well I for one think this boy could go for a little bit of crazy isn’t that right Allie May?

Allison: Ah yeah Bender, say Milk and Cookies want to go off the trail on this Crazy Train?

Brian: What's that suppose to mean?

Claire: Yeah what is that suppose to mean you freaky weirdo?

Bender: Oh these young people they have no idea who Ozzie Osborne is? Oh how I weep for this generation.

Allison: Oh I know especially since Ozzie is still pretty active in the music business.

Andy: Anyways, Brian doesn’t need any of your kind of crazy there Bender.

Claire: Yeah Brian is a nice and sane boy, unlike you two.

Bender: Yes Red therein lays a part of the problem here for Brian. I mean nerd boy here is such a model young citizen here with great grades. I mean look at him he practically looks like a parent’s wet dream huh?

Brian: What?

Bender: Don’t worry I didn’t mean it that way but still what would you be doing if you weren’t trying to be a model citizen huh? In fact I have an idea of what's going on at Big Bri’s house. *As he walks up near the book stacks* Hey Allie over here.

Allison: Alright.

(As she walks over to see Bender they get into positions like they were going to perform in a play.)

Bender (In a cheerful goofy dad voice): Hey there son.

Allison (In a cutesy boy voice): Hey there Dad.

Bender (Dad Voice): How’s about we go fishing son?

Allison (Boy Voice): Great Dad… oh no… I forgot I am supposed to be doing my homework.

Bender (Dad Voice): That’s okay son, you can do it on the boat.

(Brian did have a small smile on his face as he was watching this until…)

Allison (Boy Voice): Thanks Dad, I’ll go pack some things for the trip.

Bender (Dad Voice): You go ahead and do that son.

Allison (now in a cheerful Mom voice): Why hello dear what are you boys up to?

Bender (Dad Voice): Hi Honey I am taking the boy out fishing just for some father and son time.

Allison (Mom Voice): That sounds terrific dear; you boys have a good time.

Bender (Dad Voice): Oh we will Honey bunch, oh dear isn’t life swell?

Allison (Mom Voice): Oh yes dear life is so swell.

(Then they give each other Eskimo kisses with big smiles on their faces. Then Bender makes a “Gag me” gesture on his face. Andy did have a small chuckle at first until he noticed on Brian looked a little uneasy at that performance and started to feel a little bad for him until…)

Andy: Oh yeah? What about your family?

(Then Allison’s eyes suddenly bulged in shock.)

Bender: Oh you want to know about my family? Okay then…

(Then Bender gets back up on his “stage” while Allison is looking rather nervous about this.)

Bender (in a slightly gruffer Dad voice): Stupid, worthless, no account free-loading son of a bitch. Retarded shit-for-brains loser!

Bender (In a slightly higher pitched Mom voice): You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful…

*As he is making a pretend backhand slap*

Bender (Dad voice): SHUT UP BITCH! Go fix me a Turkey Pot Pie!

Bender: What about you Dad?

Bender (Dad voice): Fuck you!

Bender: No Dad what about you?

Bender (Dad Voice): Fuck you!

Bender: No Dad! What about you?!

Bender (Dad voice): FUCK YOU! 

(The Bender pretends to grab someone by the throat and then punch him in the face then around the midsection. Then he is seemingly grabbing the victim by the head and shoving his left knee to the victim’s face.)

Brian (really concerned): Is this true?

Allison: (really scared): Uh-huh.

Andy: That’s bullshit, I don’t buy it.

(Both Bender and Allison looked a little shocked at Andy’s remark there.)

Bender: What did you say?

Andy: Did I stutter bitch? You’re just saying stuff like that just for the sake of your image. I don’t buy that one bit.

Bender: Really?

(Then Bender walks over to Andy and rolls up one of the sleeves on his jacket a burn mark on his right arm. In which Andy tried not to look at it.)

Bender: You see this little burn mark?! Looks like the size of a Cigar? You see you get this at the Bender household when you spill a little bit of paint on the Garage. Did I stutter bitch?!

(Then as Bender walks away from Andy)

Bender: You know I don’t think I need to sit with fucking dildos like you anymore!

(Then as he is attacking some of the nearby books and throwing them on the floor)

Bender: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!

(Then Bender grabs the nearby stairs as he is holding at the corner of the stairs wanting some time alone. Allison had a very scared expression on her face at first as her eyes were starting to tear up a bit. Then Allison was glaring at Andy as her left eye twitched but they did notice on how Allison did have tears in her eyes. Then Allison looked away and wiped her eyes a bit before she walked over to Bender.)

Claire (feeling very uneasy): Andy… you really shouldn’t have said that.

Andy (really regretful tone in his voice): I… I didn’t know… I mean how was I supposed to know huh? *sigh*…

(A Short while later as Andy, Brian and Claire are still in their seats as Bender and Allison are still missing.)

Claire: *sigh* I still can’t believe that I am stuck here for the day especially with that sleazy prick Bender and his pet freak.

Andy: Yeah me too, I mean I am a Varsity Letterman in the School’s Wrestling Team I don’t belong here.

Claire: Neither do I Andy; after all I come from a pretty wealthy family who is still pretty renowned in Europe. I mean the only reason why am I here is because I skipped a class or few because I went shopping. I never saw the point why I mean it’s not like those classes are important anyway. What about you Andy? Why are you here?

Andy: Me? Well uh… you see I have been working hard being the awesome wrestler that I am so my grades where kind of slipping. My slipping grades didn’t seem so bad at first but eventually I got into some trouble with that. But hey I suppose these things happen when I try to maintain my image as a Varsity Letterman, know what I mean?

Claire: I see, it’s a shame they would put you in detention for your grades huh?

Andy (slightly hesitant): Uh… yeah… a real shame… *as he regains his composure* But not too worry Claire as long as I am here I will make sure that sleazy prick Bender doesn’t harass you again.

Claire: Why thank you Andy, it’s nice to see that there are decent folks unlike that jackass Bender and his whack-job fangirl.

Andy: Yeah I don’t understand what's wrong with that girl that is with him, I think her name is Allison. Remember when the Principal sent Allison and I to get those Sodas just a little while ago?

Claire: Yeah

Andy: I tried to make some small talk with her and she ignored me. Okay I admit I got annoyed by that and she left in a huff. But when I tried to apologize to her she freaked out and got upset. Why she did that I have no idea of course but still.

Claire: Oh don’t worry about that weird freak too much Andy, personally I think that prick Bender is probably brainwashing her.

Andy: Yeah that does sound pretty plausible.

Claire: Indeed but still the sooner I can get away from those two obnoxious freaks the better.

Brian (under his breath): I don’t know those two don’t seem to be so bad to me.

Claire: Hmm? Did you say something Brian?

Brian: What? Oh… it’s… nothing… 

Claire: Okay then but anyways Brian I just want you to know that if those obnoxious creeps ever harass you again then please feel free to come to us. Isn’t that right Andy?

Andy: Yeah if that big jerk Bender tries to bully you again let me know.

Brian (surprised): Really?

Claire: Uh-huh.

Brian: Th…thank you…

Claire: You’re welcome

(Brian did have a nice smile on his face but then he notices on how he has a small note on his pocket. Then after making sure Andy and Claire were not looking he takes a look at the note.)

“Dear Milk and Cookies

We noticed that you looked pretty scared when you first noticed that big dumb jock Andy. But don’t worry Bender and I will make sure that mean old jock won’t hurt you.

Signed  
Allison and Bender”

(Brian did smile a bit as he read that note but then he was also slightly confused and conflicted. Brian was indeed nervous when he first noticed that Andy is here earlier that day but just a few moments ago Andy said that he will make sure nobody will bother him. Brian is starting to wonder if he should be so nervous around Andy now. But then all of a sudden the 3 of them started to hear some moaning nearby.) 

Claire: What the?!

(Then the moaning gets a bit louder and they are starting to tell that it’s Allison’s voice.)

Allison (os): Oh… oh… Bender…

Claire (flustered and blushing): Th… th… those sick freaks!

Brian (also flustered and blushing): Uhh… Andy? Claire? What's going on here?

Andy (slightly blushing): Now, now you two I’m… I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation here… I hope…

Allison (os): Oh… Oh yes… Yes…

Claire: Those two aren’t actually doing it… right?

Andy: I… I don’t know!

Allison (os): Oh it hurts… it hurts…

Brian: Should we… stop him?

Claire: I don’t think they want to stop Brian.

Allison (os): Oh it hurts, it hurts so good…

Claire: Andy what are we going to do? I mean we can’t just leave them like this… right?

Andy: I mean what are we suppose to do? I mean I usually try to avoid walking in when my parents are doing something like… this.

Claire: Well we can’t just sit here and do nothing right? I… I mean what if the Principal comes back?

Andy: *gulp* Good point.

(As Andy, Brian and Claire walked over to a spot nearby behind the stairs feeling a little hesitant about this.) 

Andy: Alright you two you…

(Then they noticed that Bender and Allison are still fully clothed but Allison is lying on the floor on her stomach as Bender is massaging her… with his chin.)

Allison: Oh… it hurts… it hurts…

(Then Andy, Brian and Claire’s jaws absolutely gaped in shock as Claire tries to cover Brian’s eyes.)

Andy: Oh… didn’t see that one coming…

(Then Brian and Claire simply nodded their heads still a little speechless after this little shock. Meanwhile a little later on as the 5 are at the back area of the library as Claire and Andy are having a little chat with Brian.)

Claire: So Brian, earlier today you said you were in various academic clubs huh? So how good are your grades?

Brian: Well actually I normally get A’s in my class… *under his breath* for the most part…

Claire: Oh well that’s nice, isn’t that right Andy.

Andy: Yeah I suppose so… *as he notices something on Brian* Hmm? Hey what's that you got on your pocket there Brian?

Brian: Oh this? It’s an old card that I use to use in the past…

Andy: Well can I see it?

Brian: Well… okay…

(Then after Brian passed that card over to Andy)

Andy: What in the…

Claire: What is it?

Andy: It’s a fake ID and I’m sorry Brian but heh heh… this is a really obvious fake ID, I mean this is probably the worst fake ID I’ve seen.

Brian: Yeah I know…

Claire: Why would you need a fake ID anyway?

Brian: To vote.

(As Claire and Andy are smirking at him)

Andy: Really? 

Brian: Yeah… I’m telling the truth… *brief awkward silence* Okay I also once tried to use it to get into a foreign R-rated movie over a year ago.

Andy: It didn’t work did it?

Brian: Not at all, but I was telling the truth about the voting. Granted it didn’t work either but the people at the voting registration were nice enough not to tell my mother about it and trust me I am grateful. So, so grateful…

(Then Allison approaches the three of them.)

Allison: Hello

Claire: Hello yourself.

Allison (as she rubs Brian’s head): Hello my little milk and cookies.

Brian: Uhh… Hello…

Claire: He has a name you know, isn’t that right Brian?

Allison: Oh I know, his name is Brian Ralph Johnson, born in March, native of Shermer Illinois, and a past patient of local pediatrician Dr. Landis. Shall I recite your Social Security Number?

Brian: No that won’t be necessary but are you a psychic?

Claire: Or a stalker?

Bender: No and no *ahem* Lady and Gentlemen may I re-introduce you to my ever so lovely assistant, Allison Reynolds, Kleptomaniac Extraordinaire!

(Then with a slight of hand Allison gets a couple of certain items out of her right sleeve.)

Brian: My wallet?

Andy: My watch?

(Then with another slight of hand she lets out a certain lacy object out of her left sleeve.)

Claire (red in the face): My Bra?!

(Then Andy and Brian had a shocked look at their faces at Claire.)

Allison (with a playful smile on her face): Nope its mine.

(Then Andy and Brian had a really shocked look as they were looking at Allison.)

Allison: Besides Claire, like you would have a bra to steal? I mean aren’t you a little bit too “flat” to wear one?

Claire: I do too wear one! Honest!

Allison: Meow! Hey there Lacking Lady, Tao knows a Lacking Lady when she sees one! Tao! Tao!

Claire: Lacking?! I am so not “lacking”! I happen to be more modestly figured thank you very much. Isn’t that right Andy?

Andy: Well uh… I suppose you have a perfectly normal body for your age Claire and… there is no shame in that.

Claire: Thank you Andy. Besides yours are barely any bigger than mine so I really don’t think you have any right to talk.

(Then Bender is now right behind Allison grabbing her breasts.)

Bender: Actually she happens to have a nice little handful here. A very nice little handful here I might add.

Allison: *giggle* Oh you…

Claire (fuming): Oh this is so repulsive…

Andy: Yeah this is a… very inappropriate thing to do Bender.

Brian: Ye… Yeah!

Claire (gritting her teeth): Okay you two how about trying to say that again and not sound so jealous this time.

(As Andy and Brian were rolling their eyes away)

Andy (gritting his teeth): I was so not being jealous.

Brian: Uhh… yeah.

Bender: Oh my, this so calls for a celebration huh Allie May?

Allison: Oh yes more like Alienation, Japanimation! Manga! Conga! Naked Lunch! Hawaiian Punch!

Bender: Ride on you Shooting Star!

Claire: You two are such idiots.

Allison: It takes an idiot to do cool things, that’s why it’s cool.

Bender: Preach on Soul Sistah’!

Brian (thinking): I wonder if she is the Vespa woman I’ve heard about, the Kiss-kiss girl.

Brian: What kind of a celebration are you talking about?

Bender: You all arrived on a rather special night its one of the master’s affairs.

Claire: Oh, lucky him.

Allison: He’s lucky, you’re lucky, we’re all lucky!

Andy: Okay Riff Raff and Magenta the show is over here so drop the act.

Bender: Yeah perhaps your right, Claire is way too flat to be a Janet and while you are an asshole you are more of a Rocky than a Brad. So Magenta shall we do the Time Warp again?

Allison: Oh yes, lets.

(And they dance away.)

Claire: *sigh* Something has got to be done about those obnoxious freaks.

Andy: I know but like I said I will protect you from that prick Bender.

Claire: Thanks but you meant to add in the idea of protecting me from that freaky girl too right?

Andy: Well I uh… I mean Bender is clearly the obnoxious pest here.

Claire: Well yeah but so is that crazy freak girl, so why aren’t you mentioning her too?

Andy: Well…

Claire: Oh my god, are you taking it easy on that freak Allison just because she is a girl? 

Andy: Well… I uh…

Claire: Let me guess your one of those “Wouldn’t hit a Girl” type of guy right?

Andy: Well yeah… I mean okay so I have been raised that way I mean what's so wrong about that?

Claire: Look Andy if you don’t want to beat up girls I understand that but that doesn’t mean you should ignore the fact that freaky girl Allison is just as much of a pest as that perverted creep Bender.

Andy: *sigh* Yeah I know…

Claire: Now look Andy don’t get me wrong I am glad that you are way more of a gentleman than that sleazy prick Bender ever will be. Believe me I am but trust me not all girls deserve chivalry if you know what I mean. 

Andy: I see…

(Meanwhile a short while later as Allison is approaching Claire)

Allison: Hey there

Claire: What? Oh it’s you.

Allison: Yeah and I just have one question for you.

Claire: What?

Allison: Why do you keep talking shit about Bender?

Claire: Well why shouldn’t I? That sleazy prick is nothing but a pest who harasses just about everyone.

Allison: Oh you are so judgmental…

Claire: Judgmental?! He was the one who likes to call “Activity People” assholes and you are calling me judgmental? Oh why am I even wasting my time trying to talk to you.*sigh* I never wanted to be here, if only my father would’ve tried to pay someone to get me out of this.

Allison: Oh really? So you’re angry that your old man didn’t throw money at the school to make your little problem go away? Heh heh heh… Oh wow, how utterly unexpected.

Claire: Hey all I did was cut a few boring classes that I never would’ve needed anyways so it’s not like I did anything horribly wrong here. You like to use stereotypes to insult me yet you call me judgmental. But hey what else can I expect from Bender’s little pet freak here.

Allison: I know what kind of man Bender is like, what he is really like. You don’t know what he is really like at all so you should stop acting like you do.

Claire: Oh you are such a hypocrite.

Allison: Really?

Claire: Yes you are, you tell me about I should get to know someone before I judge them. And yet I’ve been told that you have been pretty cold to Andy despite the fact that he and Brian are the only decent guys here.

Allison: Oh I know what kind of guy Andy really is, but hey at least I agree with you on Brian.

Claire: Are you that brain damaged? The only reason why Andy is here is only because his grades have been slipping since he has been busy with his wrestling.

Allison: Really? 

Claire: Yes he told me so himself.

(Allison briefly snickered at that.)

Allison (thinking): Oh Claire you gullible little dipshit.

Claire: What's so funny?

Allison: Oh it’s nothing, nothing at all…

Claire: In that case I probably don’t want to know.

Allison: Oh that would be true, but what else can I expect from a gullible spoiled rich brat who seems to think that detention is for the little people. Isn’t that right little Miss Leona Helmsley?

Claire: Oh screw you, you brain damaged male-dependant freak!

(Now the guys are starting to pay attention to the girls.)

Allison: Anytime you stuck up bitch!

Claire: Freaky Lunatic!

Allison: Home-wrecker!

Claire (eyes widened in shock a bit at first then): Fangirl!

Allison: *sigh* Alright lets just calm down here after all you’re not worth the trouble here.

Claire: Fine, whatever you say freak.

*Then after a somewhat brief silence*

Allison: La da da da… I’m gonna bury you in the ground… La da da da, I’m gonna bury you with my sound… I’m going to drink the red from your pretty pink face and…

Claire: Oh will you shut up already?

Allison: Oh you don’t like that? Oh that’s right it’s because you don’t like me.

(Then she stood back a bit and made a brief air guitar pose as the guys got a little closer to watch.)

Allison: Sorry I don’t treat you like a goddess…  
Is that what you want me to do?  
Sorry that I don’t treat you like your perfect.  
Like all your little loyal subjects do.  
Sorry I am not made of sugar.  
And I am not sweet enough for you.  
Is that why you always avoid me?  
I must be such an inconvenience to you I…

I’m just your Problem; I’m just your Problem.  
It’s like I’m not even a person am I?  
I’m just your problem…

Well, I-I-I-I-I-I-I shouldn’t have to justify what I do  
I-I-I-I-I-I-I shouldn’t have to prove anything to you  
I’m sorry that I exist, I forgot what landed me on your blacklist  
But I-I-I-I-I-I-I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you 

Brian (whispering): Wow she has a really nice singing voice huh Mr. Bender?

Bender (whispering): Oh yes trust me kid she has an incredible singing voice.

(Claire is now sitting there rather annoyed that when Allison is annoying her through song the guys are too busy admiring her singing performance.)

Allison: So... why do I want to?  
Why do I want to...  
To... bury you in the ground,  
and drink the blood from your... 

Claire: Ugh!

(Then Brian and Andy had a surprised look on their face at Claire.)

Claire (embarrassed): Will you two stop staring at me!

Allison (thinking): Heh heh and I thought that was supposed to be my line.

(Moments later all 5 of them are now roaming about in the halls.)

Claire: Oh why are we doing this?

Bender (as he is placing his hand on her right shoulder): Oh come on now Red, there is no need to be shy. I mean it feels good to bad huh?

(Claire was rather annoyed by Bender here but she also noticed on how Allison was glaring at her as well.) 

Andy: That’s enough Bender.

Claire: Yeah!

Bender: Alright, well in that case do try to keep up okay?

*As he and Allison go on ahead*

Claire: Thanks Andy, but remind me again why are we out here.

Brian: Yeah we can get into some big trouble out here.

Andy: I am doing this just to keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t cause anymore trouble. I mean do you really think it would be a good idea to let those two out and about by themselves?

Claire: I suppose that makes sense…

Brian: Yeah…

Bender (os): Hey Slowpokes! You all are doing a real nice job in keeping up huh?

Allison (os): Shall I get them some Shellders to put on their tails?

Bender (os): Good idea Allie May but where are we going to get any Shellders at this hour?

Claire: Alright! Alright, we’re coming!

(A few moments later as the group approaches Bender’s locker and as Bender unlocks the padlock on his locker door and opens it, a small guillotine comes down.)

Brian (startled): Ah! What the?! You can hurt someone with that!

Bender: Really Brian? I can hurt someone with a guillotine? I never knew that, darn and I was hoping that I would give someone a good neck message with this thing.

Andy: Relax Brian, this “guillotine” here is a harmless fake. 

Brian: Really? How can you tell?

Andy: Easy, notice the blade here? It obviously made out of plastic, in fact watch this… *Andy lifts the blade up a bit and then let it fall on his fingers* See? Nothing happened. Trust me Brian, Bender’s little “guillotine” here may look dangerous but when you take a good look at it this thing is completely harmless. Much like its owner of course.

Claire: Ha hah ha hah hah… Good one Andy!

(However Bender and Allison were not amused by this, as Bender is now searching through his locker. Bender kept searching and searching through his locker until he was starting to get a little frustrated.)

Bender: Fuck! Where is it?

Allison: What’s wrong Bender?

Bender: Where the hell is my pot stash here? To be honest Allie May I think that balding nanny of yours Carl took it just to “teach me a lesson” or some bullshit like that.

Allison: Now Bender we don’t know that for sure.

Bender: Yeah well he definitely seems like a suspect here.

Brian: Pot stash? You mean drugs?

Bender: No I like to store Cooking Ware in my locker. Want to see my huge spatula collection? 

Andy: Really? This is the reason why you wanted us out here? 

Claire: To be honest Andy I’m not surprised he is a pothead; I’m not surprised at all.

Andy: That’s true; I definitely should have seen that coming. Though Claire I will say that you were right and that we should’ve just stayed back in the detention room.

Claire: I know right? 

Bender: Nice to see you two being so subtle with your snobbery huh?

(Meanwhile as this is happening Allison just snatched the lock from Bender’s locker.)

Andy: Oh shut up besides you know that shit is still illegal in this state right?

Bender: I promise to use it medicinally to aid the poor underprivileged masses.

Andy: Yeah you’re a real Mother Teresa there Bender… *as he starts to hear some footsteps* Hmm? What the?

Bender: Ah shit, Dick is coming.

Claire: The Principal is coming? What are we going to do? 

Bender: Alright everyone follow me, I know how to get back.

Andy: Forget it Bender, we’re through listening to you. *As he is looking at Claire and Brian* Alright you two lets get back to the Detention Room and I’ll lead the way. Bender got us into this mess so I might as well be the one to get us out of it.

Claire: Yes sir!

Brian: Uh… Okay…

*Then as they run off*

Bender: Oh this is going to end so well… *sigh* Oh well time to save them.

Allison: Really? Do we have to?

Bender: Well keep in mind that Milk and Cookies is still with them.

Allison: Oh yeah good point, alright lets go… 

(A few moments later, Andy is trying to lead Claire and Brian back into the Detention Room and they are at a dead end as they approached a hall that was being blocked by a rolled down gate.)

Andy: Damn it!

Bender (clapping his hands): Well, well brilliant move oh fearless leader. I am so glad Allie and I left these two to your oh so capable hands.

Andy: Shut it Bender, this is a minor setback I just need some time to think.

Bender: Yeah well I was going to lead you all back into the Detention Room free of charge. But if you don’t want that I suppose I can’t force you.

Brian: Alright Bender, so you really can lead us back? 

(Then Brian notices how Andy and Claire gave them a slightly annoyed glare.)

Brian (nervous): Eh… What I mean is, unless you two got any better ideas?

(Then Andy had a rather embarrassed look on his face as his left eye did slightly twitch a bit.)

Andy: *sigh* Alright Bender as much as I would hate to satisfy your ego, you win. Lead the way.

Bender: Thank you very much Sporto, alright team, let’s go.

(Then as the team tries to head their way back into the Detention Room, Principal Dick is waking the halls and keeps getting closer to them. Bender had to make some unintended detours just to try to get away from Dick. Meanwhile as the crew is trying to hide from the Principal at a nearby hallway…)

Andy (whispering): Hey Bender I thought you said you knew how to get back to the Library?

Bender (whispering): I am trying to but I am also trying to avoid you-know-who. By the way this might’ve gone a little easier if you listened to me from the start.

Andy (whispering): Yeah well if you didn’t get us out of here we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. 

Claire (whispering): Guys will you keep it down? The Principal is nearby, he’ll hear us.

Brian (whispering): Ah man what are we going to do? I mean we are way too far from the Library.

Allison (whispering): Yeah Bender what are we going to do?

Bender (whispering): Ah man… Nerd boy is right; we are way too far from the Ol’ Detention Room for all of us to get there undetected… *sigh* I guess I don’t have any choice… Allison?

Allison (whispering): Yeah? 

(Allison and Bender are now a short distance away from the other 3 students in the hall.)

Bender (whispering): I want you to take over in leading them back to the Library, I’ll do a diversion.

Allison (scared): What?

Bender (whispering): We are way too far off for all of us to get back there undetected. But if I divert Ol’ Dick’s attention for a little while it’ll give you guys some time to get back to Detention okay?

Allison (whispering): But… Bender…

Bender (whispering): Don’t argue with me on this okay Allie May? Look I’ll be fine besides you of all people know that I’m not afraid of Ol’ Dick here. Now go, okay?

Allison (scared): Okay

(Then Bender gets up and runs into the halls.)

Andy (whispering): What the hell is that idiot doing?!

Allison (whispering): There is no time to explain, follow me!

Brian (whispering): Okay

(Then Allison and Brian run off in another direction, Andy and Claire looked at each other slightly confused then despite being rather hesitant at first tried to catch up with Allison and Brian. Now a short while later all 4 of them got back inside the Detention Room.) 

Andy: *phew*! Thank God we managed to get back here just fine huh?

Claire (light panting): Yeah, we managed to back here in one piece and that sleazy creep Bender is out of our hair, things are starting to get a little better huh?

(Allison had a very angry scowl on her face as she quickly got behind Claire and smacked her on the back of the head.)

Claire: Ow! What the hell was that for?!

Allison (as she is raising a fist at Claire): That “sleazy creep” is the reason why we managed to get back here without the Principal catching us. So how about showing some fucking gratitude okay?

Brian: Now girls let’s try to stay calm here.

Andy: Yeah after all we just got back here to avoid the Principal’s attention, so let’s not start a fight here okay?

(Then Allison and Claire were glaring at each other and slightly growling for a bit until they looked away in a huff. Then Allison looked at the front door with a rather wistful look on her face.) 

Allison (thinking, scared): *sigh* Bender I hope your going to be okay…

(Meanwhile back out in the halls Bender is now running in the halls.)

Bender: I WANT TO BE AN AIRBORNE RANGER!

(As the Principal is nearby)

Principal Dick: What the… BENDER! BENDER!

(A few moments later the Principal finds Bender in the Gym playing a little Basketball.)

Principal Dick: Bender, what the hell are you doing here?! Get out! 

Bender: What you don’t want to hear my excuse?

Principal Dick: I never do so get out! 

Bender: I am thinking of going for a scholar-ship.

(Then the Principal tries to grab the ball away from Bender but Bender maintains his grip and even psyches Dick out with it.)

Principal Dick: Get your stuff, you’re out of here!

(And Bender got his jacket and as they both head into the Detention Room).

Principal Dick: Hello students I just caught Mr. Bender here out and about in the halls. Bender do you think this is funny? Do you think your some sort of comedian?

Bender: Naw I’m a bit more of a Rorshach, granted I am a lot more personable and willing to touch a woman but still. Brian is obviously a Nite Owl, Claire is easily Silk Specter but Sporto can be a decent Dr. Manhatten. Not sure about Allie May here but as for you sir I think you could be a good Comedian, or an Ozymandias or perhaps a bit of both. 

Allison: *giggle* Yeah that sounds about right.

Principal Dick: Are you two done?

Bender: Maybe but who knows if we are done in this crazy world we live in huh?

Principal Dick: Oh everything is a big joke to you huh? Like that recent false alarm you pulled? Was that really funny? I mean what if your house was on fire? What if your dope was on fire? 

Bender: Impossible sir, it’s gone missing. Would you happen to know anything about that? I mean god only knows how much you could go for some relaxation huh?

(Allison had a good laugh while Andy, Brian and Claire did have a small chuckle as well.)

Principal Dick: Stop laughing! Especially you young lady! You think this is funny? Come see Bender in 5 years and see if he is still funny, or alive. This waste of flesh here is nothing more than a sociopath who will never amount to anything. Do you all want to end up like him? Do you?

(Andy, Brian and Claire looked away feeling a little uneasy as Allison was fuming at this wanting to say something to Dick but knowing that Bender would try to tell her not to.)

Principal Dick: What's the matter Bender? You want to cry?

Bender: In order to cry, I’d have to care first. And we all know how much I care about you.

Principal Dick: That’s it Bender you’re out of here! Sorry students but it looks like Mr. Bender will not be joining you for the remainder of this detention session.

(Dick pulls Bender out of his chair by force.)

Bender: Get your fucking hands off of me!

(Then Bender straighten his jacket and as he was about to leave.)

Allison: Excuse me sir I have a question.

Bender (nervous, thinking): Allie, what are you doing?!

Principal Dick: Very well Ms. Reynolds, what is it?

Allison: What about me? After all I am his “accomplice” remember? So shouldn’t I be with him?

Principal Dick: Oh you think I would fall for that Ms. Reynolds? Like I would let you two be by yourselves? I know that I would be giving you exactly what you want. So yes you and Mr. Bender will be apart. But like I’ve told you before Ms. Reynolds you need to spend some time away from him for once. So to answer your question Ms. Reynolds no you will not accompany him and you will be staying here, are we clear Ms. Reynolds?

Allison: Crystal, sir.

Principal Dick: Alright let’s go Mr. Bender.

Bender (with a salute): Jawohl!

Principal Dick: Shut it Bender now March!

(Moments later as the Principal places Bender in a nearby supply closet. Principal Dick is yelling at Bender again as he looks away.)

Principal Dick: This is the last time you make me look bad in front of these kids you got that?! I make $31,000 dollars a year and I have a home and I am not about to throw that away over some punk like you. 

(Bender flat out ignores him.)

Principal Dick: That’s why someday when you get out of this school and have forgotten about this place and they all have forgotten about you I will be there. I’ll be the one to kick the living shit out of you! 

(Now the Principal definitely has Bender’s attention.)

Principal Dick: That’s right you little ass-wipe I’m going to giving you the beating of your fucking life you little shit-stain. I am going to knock your dick into the god-damn dirt.

Bender (scared): You’re threatening me?

Principal Dick: Yeah what are you going to do about it? You think anyone is going to take your word over mine? I am a swell guy, I happen to be respected around here nobody here gives a shit about you. 

(Then as Bender remained silent, Dick was getting increasingly agitated.)

Principal Dick (as he is taking off the outer jacket of his suit): Alright you know what you little shit why wait until later? Let’s settle this right now! On your feet pal! I want to see how tough you are! C'mon!

(As Dick is getting in front of Bender’s face as he is closing his eyes and pointing his chin.) 

Principal Dick: Alright I’ll let you throw the first punch! C’mon you little shit, just give me a good swing right here! Right here! I dare you!

(Then as the Principal gets up and notices that Bender still has that nervous look on his face.)

Principal Dick (thinking): Damn it why isn’t this little shit-head trying to hit me? Wait a minute… I have an idea.

(Dick is putting the jacket of his suit back on.)

Principal Dick: You gutless little shit. Oh well I suppose our little fight can wait until later. Oh yes and after when I beat the shit out of you I will go after your little accomplice Allison next.

Bender: What? *as he is increasingly fuming* You… You… You’re threatening her?

Principal Dick (with a small devious grin): Oh yes you little shit what are you going to do about huh? What are you going to do about it? For a little over a year now you and that little freak have been causing me nothing but trouble. So I might as well go after her when I am done with you. 

(Bender was fuming in rage about this… at first, until he seems to be having a good laugh.)

Principal Dick: What the? What's so funny?

Bender: Heh heh heh heh… Oh Mr. Richard Vernon you truly are quite the swell guy are you? After everything that has happened you call her a freak? You say you want to go after her huh? Tell me Mr. Vernon what were you planning to do to her? And tell me Mr. Vernon what is the real reason why you want to go after her? Because she didn’t want to keep her mouth shut?

(Then Principal Dick is actually starting to look a little horrified at first but as he is trying to regain his composure.)

Principal Dick: I… I… I didn’t mean it like that! You know that right?

Bender: Heh heh heh… Really Mr. Vernon.. Really, you didn’t mean it like that huh? That’s funny it sure sounded like you meant it like that earlier. I can’t help but be curious over why you won’t tell me what you plan to do to her. Especially considering on how you went into an awful lot of detail on what you plan on doing to me.

(As Bender gets up and is in front of the door.)

Bender: But I suppose I could just simply be the bigger man here and walk away.

Principal Dick (As his voice is cracking trying to sound stern): Bender… get back here, now!

Bender (as he gets back to his spot): Alright you’re the boss, but what can I say Mr. Richard Vernon? I truly hope that I will grow up to be a paragon of virtue like you. I really do.

(Then the Principal got out of the room and left Bender in there. At first Dick just simply stood there as his left eye was twitching as he is frustrated about what is he going to do now. But then he tries to leave the area to try to clear his mind from this. Meanwhile back in the Detention Room all 4 of the students were silent and fell a little uneasy particularly Allison. However Brian noticed Allison with a rather melancholic expression on her face and kind of felt bad for her.)

Brian: Um… Excuse me… Ms. Allison? Don’t worry I’m sure Mr. Bender is going to be okay.

(Andy and Claire were initially a little surprised by this, but then they noticed Allison’s smiling face and they both decided to just leave them be.)

Allison: That’s really sweet of you… But while I do appreciate your concern but to be honest I’m not too worried about him.

Brian: Really?

Claire (thinking, rolling her eyes): Sure you weren’t fangirl.

Allison: Really, and lets just say I have my reasons why.

(Allison has a rather cat-like smile on her face as Andy, Brian, Claire are confused. Meanwhile in that supply closet a vent has been opened and Bender is now crawling in the vents. Principal Dick is using a nearby restroom as this is going on.)

Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...

(Then the Ceiling gives way as he falls back into the Detention Room/Library in the back.)

Bender: OH SHIT!

(Meanwhile back in the nearby restroom.)

Principal Dick: What the Hell?!

(Then Bender casually walked to his desk.)

Bender: Forgot my Pencil.

Allison (smirking): I was wondering when you were going to show up.

Bender: Heh, what can I say? You-know-who held me up a bit longer than usual…

(But shortly afterwards, Principal Dick came barging in looking kind of stressed out.)

Principal Dick: Alright what was that noise?

Andy: What noise?

Principal Dick: There was this big noise here, this ruckus.

Brian: Can you describe the ruckus sir?

Principal Dick: Watch it little man, I have had enough stress for today.

(Then we see Bender who was hiding in Allison’s desk, he noticed that his face was right in front of her legs. So with a gleeful smile on his face Bender decides to rest his head on Allison’s thighs.)

Allison (muffled): Eep!

(Then Dick’s head quickly turned to Allison until…)

Claire (muffled): Eep!

Brian (muffled): Eep!

(Then Andy briefly banged on his deck like a drum namely a rimshot.)

Andy: Is that the noise you were thinking of sir?

Principal Dick: No it wasn’t, it was a much louder noise that I know came from here and I doubt that any of you did not hear that. But I suppose you three are not the best people to ask…

(As Principal Dick walks closer to Allison.)

Principal Dick: But you on the other hand, that is a different story.

Allison: Sir, we have been over this, I have been sitting here and in fact we all have. Isn’t that right fellow classmates?

Brian: Yes we have.

Andy: Indeed

Claire: Uh-huh

Principal Dick: Oh no Ms. Reynolds I am not going to argue with that. I’m not saying you did it Ms. Reynolds but I have a feeling you may know who. So I’m just simply going to ask this question to you Ms. Reynolds, where is he?

(Then Bender got his head up and is now paying attention to what the Principal is saying.)

Allison: Where is who, sir?

Principal Dick: You know exactly what I am talking about, where is Bender?

Allison: Didn’t you send him away recently?

Principal Dick: Yes I did and speaking of which I can’t help but notice something. Anyone else noticed on how this has happened shortly after I have sent Bender away? I also find it odd on how there was a loud noise that came from here just a few moments ago that you all claim to not know about. Oh I should have known this would happen but I digress… Anyways Ms. Reynolds I ask you again where is Bender?

Allison: I do not know sir.

(As Principal Dick was about to fume in rage but he tries to calm down and got a little closer to Allison.)

Principal Dick (whispering): Listen Allison, just because Bender is a trouble-maker doesn’t mean you have to be. If you tell me where Bender is then things will go easier for you. You shouldn’t be helping out that delinquent and I mean it Allison you owe him nothing.

Allison (whispering): I disagree, sir.

Principal Dick (as he slams her desk): DON’T YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME LIKE THAT YOUNG LADY! NOW YOU BETTER TELL ME WHERE HE IS NOW OR ELSE!

Allison (slightly scared): Or else what sir?

(Then Principal Dick saw the scared look on Allison’s face and backed up a bit. He also noticed on how the other 3 students were also looking rather nervous as well as they all were staring at him. Principal Dick was looking really nervous and starting to sweat a bit feeling a little uncertain how he was going to talk himself out of this. Meanwhile within Allison’s desk Bender’s left eye was twitching as he was fuming and trying really hard to stay there.) 

Principal Dick: I… I….I’m sor…what I mean is… I apologize for that outburst there students. Today has been rather stressful for me and I shouldn’t let my stress get the better of me. Since it’s clear that… none of you seem to know about Mr. Bender’s whereabouts then perhaps I should just take my leave for now, farewell. 

(As Principal Dick leaves the area.)

Bender (as he gets off the desk): Ah man that was close…

Allison: Indeed… (as she whispers to Bender) Though Bender one of these days we ought to change positions sometime.

Bender (with a devious smile on his face): Interesting…

(Moments later Allison notices Bender having an annoyed look on his face.)

Allison: What's up Bender?

Bender: Oh not much Allie May, I was just thinking that this previous whole incident would not have been such a hassle if it wasn’t for nothing. Know what I mean?

Allison: Oh I see, still a little sore about your missing doobage?

Bender: Yeah…

Allison: Hang on I think I got some brownies we had a while back, I think they are still good. *as she gets them out of her bag* Ah there they are.

Bender: Nice!

(Bender and Allison were about to eat their brownies until.)

Brian: Oh are those Brownies? Can I have some? It’s been a while since the last time I ever had one.

Bender (with a devious smile): Sure little buddy, here you go.

Brian: Thank you.

(Then Andy & Claire look at each other feeling slightly hesitant about this.) 

Bender: Hey there you two wall flowers in the mood for some Brownies?

Allison: Yes they may not be fresh but they are still nice and chewy.

(Andy & Claire looked at each other wondering if it’s really okay to have some of their brownies then got up and moved a little closer to them. Moments later all of them were busy laughing for no apparent reason.) 

Claire: You know I am so popular in this school, I mean everybody knows me. It can be such a hassle to be so popular.

Bender: Oh you poor thing.

Allison: Oh I know but hey Claire if it makes you feel any better, Bender and I have never heard of you until today. Isn’t that right Bender?

Bender: Ah yeah that is so true.

Claire: Ah thanks you two… I think…

Brian: On top of Spaghetti, all covered with Cheese. I… forgot the rest of the song but I’d like some Spaghetti if you please.

(Then Bender and the girls clapped.)

Allison: Aw that was adorable my little Milk and Cookies.

Claire: For once I have to agree with her.

Brian: Thank you ladies, thank you.

Bender: Aw yeah you’re a regular Barry White there kid.

Brian: Thank you… Wait, what?

(Then all 4 of them had a good laugh.)

Claire: Say I just noticed something, where’s Andy?

Andy (os): Right here!

(Then we see Andy on the top floor of the Library nearby the guard rails as he is making a few dance moves. Then Andy takes his jacket off showing off his muscular arms.)

Claire: Oh wow!

(Then Brian whistles at Andy.)

Bender (under his breath): Show-off

(Allison pats Bender on the back.)

Allison (under her breath): Not too worry Bender you still have better guns.

Bender (under his breath): True…

(Then Andy was being really energetic as he was performing a bunch of Back Handsprings in a row then did a Victory Pose. And then Brian and Claire applauded him.)

Bender (under his breath): Whoa… Say Allie May did you use a bit too much sugar again?

Allison (under her breath): I’m not sure but I have to admit that’s a good question. 

(Moments later Andy is now downstairs with the rest of the crew here.)

Bender (with a song stuck in his head):  
Don't you forget about me  
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby  
Going to take you apart  
I'll put us back together at heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me  
Don't Don't Don't Don't  
Don't You Forget About Me

Allison: Hmmm… That song seems familiar…

Brian: That’s a nice song Mr. Bender; do you know what that song is?

Bender: Hmm… I’m not sure offhand but the song has been stuck in my head lately. But I’ve only heard bits and pieces of it.

Andy: Oh really?

Bender: Yeah, I think it came from some old Judd Nelson movie or something…

(Then all 5 of them suddenly looked shocked then confused.)

Brian: Okay… anyone else have this really strange feeling just now?

Claire: Uh-huh

Andy: Yeah…

Bender: Yeah even I have to agree to that.

Allison: Uh-huh

(Then they went back to looking confused until.)

Bender (trying to ease the confusion): Hey folks I have some interesting stories to tell, say did I ever mention the one with the man who has Elephantitus in the nuts?

Allison: I think you did that recently at least I remember you telling that…

Bender: Really? I don’t remember telling that recently, maybe I did… Ah what the hell I got a better one, I remember that incident that almost got one of my cousins arrested.

Andy: What did he try to do? Tried to do a Car-Jack? Tried to peep on women?

Bender: Nah nothing that ordinary, I heard he once shown up at a party shirtless and wearing tight pants like some Chippendale dancer. Then when he went on stage and sang that song “Fuk U in the Ass” and he was giving it his all as he sang and danced… until he noticed that he was performing for a kid’s birthday party.

Claire: Oh really?

Bender: Yeah the dumbass almost got arrested on the spot.

Andy (after having a good laugh): Oh really? Where the hell did he think he was performing at, a Gay strip club?

Bender: Actually he said he got that request from an older woman who was revealed to be that kid’s aunt who apparently had a little too much to drink. My guess is that she was some horny drunk cougar who wanted him at the party but kind of forget to tell him what kind of party it was.

Claire: Heh heh oh wow that must’ve been so bizarre.

Andy: Yeah no kidding.

Allison: Oh I know I was laughing so hard when he first told me about that story.

Bender: Ah yeah I got an even better story… In fact I got a little secret to tell you three… Shh… Did you know that Ally and I are not real teenagers? 

(Andy, Brian and Claire’s eyes are bulging in shock.)

Bender: Oh yeah we are really in our 20’s; we’ve just been fooling that old dipshit Principal this whole time for free room and board. Isn’t that right Ally?

Allison: I think I know, I don’t think I know, I think I know, I don’t think I think I know, I don’t think I think… ah… (As she has a big goofy smile on her face)

Bender: I’ll take that as a yes.

Andy (after having another good laugh): Oh really? You two are in your twenties? Me too! I’m really going to be the next coach here at school and I am just posing as a student to see what the kids here are really like.

Bender: Ah you don’t say?

Andy: I do say.

Brian: Say Claire, are we teenagers?

Claire: I think so.

Brian (with a nice cheerful smile): Ah good I was hoping we are still the same age.

Claire (also having a nice cheerful smile): Aw thank you Brian that is so sweet of you. 

(And they all have a good laugh.)

Allison: Hey there my little milk and cookies… Hmm… Oh yes.

Brian: Eh… Yes Ms. Allison?

Allison: I got a little something for you.

(Allison quickly sprang into action as she was looking into her bag. Then she quickly got in front of Brian as Brian was squirming as she was doing something to him.)

Brian: What the? What are you doing?

Claire (with a slight blush): He…hey! Hey you! Let go of him!

Allison: Just a moment…

(Allison stepped away from Brian.)

Allison: Ta-dah!

(She placed in a white cap on Brian that looks like the cap that Finn the Human from Adventure Time wears.)

Allison: Aw it’s so perfect!

Bender: Hmm… I can totally see where you are coming from here. Too bad he is not wearing a light blue shirt… or that we don’t have a rubbery dog.

Allison: Well yeah but those things can be easily fixed.

Bender: True.

(Brian had another confused look on his face.)

Claire: Well… I have no idea what they are talking about but I suppose that this cap does look nice on you, right Andy?

Andy: Eh… yeah, well I am sure it could help your head to stay warm in the winter.

Allison: Hmm… okay I suppose this is a slight acquired taste but I got a little something that has a bit more… universal appeal.

(Then Allison quickly went in front of him and grabbed the hat off so she placed in something else on him.)

Allison: Ta-dah! Instant Kitty ears! *as she is petting his head like a cat* Kitty kitty… Meow…

(Then Claire had a curious look on her face as she was looking at the Cat Ears on Brian’s hair. Then she was lightly patting him on the head and his cat ears.)

Brian (confused, small blush): Ehh… Meow?

(Claire suddenly had a big smile on her face.)

Claire: *giggle* Oh wow this is so adorable.

Allison: I know right?

(Both of the girls are petting Brian like a Kitty.)

Brian (blushing like crazy): Eh heh heh heh heh… Meow!

Claire: Aww… Good kitty.

(Meanwhile as Andy and Bender are watching this Andy’s eyes are gaping in shock while Bender has a small little smirk on his face.)

Andy: Whoa… they really are petting him like a cat huh?

Bender: Yeah I don’t know whether to smack him or high five him later… *with a small smile on his face* Ah what the hell, I’m in a good enough mood I will go with the latter.

(Moments later)

Brian: Say Ms. Allison & Mr. Bender? Are there anymore of those brownies left?

Allison: Actually… *as she checks her bag* Nope, they are all gone. Sorry about that.

Brian: Aw that’s a shame; there was something unique about those brownies. Sure they do taste chocolaty but it seemed like there were other ingredients in those brownies. So what else did you put in those Brownies?

Allison: Oh not much… fudge, sugar, eggs, hash you know things like that.

Andy: Oh that’s nice… *now his eyes widen in shock* WHAT?! HASH?!

Claire: What's the matter with you Andy?

Andy: Didn’t you hear her Claire? She said there was in hash in those brownies.

Brian: Really? These brownies have a slightly rougher texture but I didn’t taste any pan-fried potatoes.

Andy: Not Hash Browns! Hash! Those two have been giving us pot brownies! God Damn it I should’ve seen this coming.

Claire: WHAT?!

(Bender and Allison were just watching them panic as they have a slightly confused look on their faces.)

Bender (under his breath): Wow these guys are really not taking this well.

Allison (under her breath): Yeah this is strange; you would think they would be okay with that especially nowadays.

Bender (under his breath): I know right? And they seem so much happier before they knew.

Allison (under her breath): True

Claire: Damn it, why would you two do this to us? Oh I should have known this would happen. Ah man I so don’t want to end up like my aunt and uncle who got arrested for drug possession last year.

Bender: Oh calm down people, there is no reason to panic.

Andy: No reason to panic?! Bullshit! This is a perfect reason to panic!

Bender: You’re not going to die Sporto so stop acting like your going to.

Andy: Yeah well that illegal shit isn’t exactly harmless either. I got a practice meet next week and the last thing I need is to be kicked off the team for drug use!

Bender: Calm down Sporto that stuff will be out of your system well before next Saturday.

Andy: It better! Ah man I’ve worked so hard to be one of the top athletes in school; I don’t want everything I’ve worked for to go downhill because of this.

(Brian is looking like he is being really paranoid.)

Brian: Ah man ah man ah man… what am I going to do? I’m supposed to be a genius! Oh I hope I can still be a genius… I hope…

Bender: Look Brian, you only had just a few brownies so you’ll be fine. It’s really not that big a deal.

Brian: Not a big deal? Oh sure it may have been just a few brownies, it may not have been much and that could be true. But the point is I have Marijuana in my system and I suppose to be a genius. So what if Mother finds out? Mother tells me that I am supposed to be a genius. I have to be a genius like all the other brilliant people in my family because Mother said so. If my mother finds out that I have been taking drugs like pot then my Mother would be very angry. When my mother gets upset then none of us are happy… none of us are happy at all. Oh what am I going to do?

(Then Bender and Allison were starting to look a little guilt-stricken about Brian as Claire and Andy were busy panicking about this.)

Allison: Listen everything is going to be okay, I… only put a little bit of hash in there.

Brian: Really?

Bender: Yeah, you may feel a little strange through the rest of the day but by this upcoming week if not sooner you will be feeling just fine. Okay? And if your mother does find out then well I will be the one to take the blame okay?

Allison: But Bender I was the one who made them.

Bender: Yeah and I was the one who passed them around and I was the one who got you to make them in the first place. So if anyone should be blamed then it would be me, okay?

Allison: Okay, but still Brian you’re a good boy and you really should learn to calm down. All this fear and stress is really not good for you. 

Bender: Yeah say what you will about these other substances but all that stress and fear is going to cause you nothing but trouble. But don’t worry the next time we bring any more stress relievers we would use something a bit safer and legal, okay?

Brian: Okay… Thank you.

Allison: You’re welcome.

(Claire and Andy were watching this as well looking a little surprised by this. But then Andy quickly soon had his mind on something else.)

Andy (thinking): Wait a minute I just realized something… Could those really be pot brownies? I mean if I have been getting stoned then how the hell was I able to pull off those gymnastic moves just a short while ago? I mean since when would a stoner be that fast on their feet? Hmm… Could this mean that those weren’t pot brownies and those two say they were just to screw with us? No, if that was the case they probably would’ve said so by now but still… Ah man this really is hard to figure out.

(Moments later, Brian notices Allison looking over her drawings.)

Brian: What's that you got there Ms. Allison?

Allison: Heh heh you don’t need to be so formal there Milk and Cookies you can just call me Allison.

Bender: Besides if you were going to call her “Ms.” then wouldn’t “Ms. Reynolds” be a more proper term?

Brian (sheepish): Oh yeah… heh heh…

Allison: Anyways I got some of my artwork here on display. This is a little something I was working on earlier today…

(She shows her picture of that little house that is nearby the bridge.)

Brian: Oh that looks nice.

Bender: Indeed

Andy: Yeah that is pretty good.

Claire (slightly annoyed at the attention Allison is getting): Heh its okay I guess.

(Then Allison shows a picture of a hamster namely Hamtaro wielding a Naginata while wearing a Kimono.)

Claire: Huh?

Bender: Not bad, but I thought Maxwell was the one who was wielding a Naginata during that episode.

Brian: Well it’s certainly unique and it’s kind of nice.

Andy: Yeah…

(Then Allison is showing a picture of a Sharkticon namely a robotic bipedal piranha with lots of teeth and a Quintesson a strange squid like creature with a demonic face.)

Claire (as she is holding on to Andy): AH!

Brian: What the?!

Bender: Nice sense of detail there Allie May.

Allison: Thank you.

Brian (nervous): Yeah those things are certainly… interesting I suppose…

Claire: Creepy is more like it!

Bender: Seriously you two are scared of the Sharkticons and Quintessons from Transformers? But hey Red I’m sure Sporto here appreciates you grabbing on to him like that.

(Then Claire lets go of Andy with an annoyed look on her face as Andy tries to look away and look nonchalant as they are both blushing.)

Bender: So Allie May got any more for us?

Allison: Yeah I have one more, here you go.

(Now she is showing a picture which is a close up shot of the Lich from Adventure Time, namely a demonic man with a nightmarishly zombie skeletal-like face.)

Claire & Brian: AH!

Andy (shocked): Whoa!

Bender: Wow that is awesome work here Allie May you’ve really outdone yourself here.

Allison: Thank you.

Claire: OK seriously what Horror Movie did THIS come from?!

Allison: Actually this is the Lich from the Cartoon Network show “Adventure Time”.

Claire: Cartoon Network? You mean this is from a Kids show, seriously? What kind of sick bastard would put something like this in a kids show?

Bender: Oh you can be surprised of what has been in “children’s entertainment” over the years.

Andy: Yeah well I think that’s quite enough for Allison’s little art show here alright?

Bender: Whatever you say Sporto… *as he is looking at one of the desks* Hmm? 

Brian: Is something wrong Mr. Bender?

Bender: I just noticed something… I placed my knife on this desk and now it’s missing. I mean I know I placed it here earlier today.

Allison (os, playful voice): Bender…

(Then we see Allison with Bender’s knife as she playfully licks the blade with Bender having a devious smile on his face. Brian looked slightly confused as Andy & Claire look disgusted.)

Bender: Oh I so should’ve seen this coming, oh Allie May you cunning little Klepto you. But I guess I should be surprised, I mean this isn’t the first time she has licked my blade.

(Andy looks REALLY disgusted.)

Bender: Problem, Sporto?

Andy (with a twitch in left eye): No… no problem at all Bender.

Claire: You are so disgusting.

Alison: What is it because I was having a little bit of fun playful banter here?

Claire: Oh please only a porno would consider something like that “playful banter”. I mean how the hell is licking something in a slutty way suppose to be banter?

Allison: Tell me Claire have you ever had a nice Popsicle during the summer and wanted to enjoy it slowly?

Claire: No and what does that got to with… oh you are so sick. Just shut up you freak before you nauseate me some more.

Allison: Whatever you say “Red”.

Andy: Now c’mon girls lets try to keep things civil okay?

Allison: Okay “Sporto” I suppose I will play along… Say Claire; tell me do you know about the Madonna-Whore complex?

Claire: I’ve vaguely heard the term before what about it?

Allison: It’s an old term to judge a woman’s virtue by her sex life. But to me nowadays the term is a trap… Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right? Or… are you a tease?

Claire: I am not a tease!

Allison: Really?

Claire: Yeah we went over this when that sleazy asshole Bender was telling me that I am a Virgin and teased me about it. Remember?

Allison: Oh yes, I suppose I should believe you on how you’re not a tease. I mean with your flat chest, chicken legs and small thighs you would make a lousy tease. But hey I suppose it’s nice that you would know your limits huh?

Claire: Well gee thank you very much. Yes I do remember the term “Madonna-Whore complex” and it’s obvious to see which one of us is on which side of that complex if you know what I mean. 

Allison (gritting her teeth): Wow you are so subtle.

Claire: Oh that’s rich, coming from Miss “she has licked my blade” huh?

Bender: Alright! Looks like we will be getting some hot cat-fighting action here huh?

Claire: Shut up you!

Allison: Yeah c’mon Bender I understand if you wanted to see me in a hot cat-fight but could we pick a better looking girl?

Claire: Shut up!

Andy: Alright everyone be quiet! There isn’t going to be a cat fight or anything like that okay?

Bender: Since when were you such a prude there Sporto?

Andy: Am not, its just that I am a lot more willing to respect women and people smaller than me, unlike you.

(Then Brian looked away feeling slightly uneasy as Allison had a look of absolute disgust on her face.)

Allison (thinking): Tch… Bullshit.

Bender: Oh so you respect women and the little people so much more huh? How interesting…

Claire: Yes he does Bender; Andy has been much nicer to us than you have been. After all the only reasons why I am here is because I cut a few classes and the only reason why he is here is because his grades have been slipping. 

(Allison snickered a bit at that as Bender was also rather amused by this as well.)

Bender: Oh yes Red, Sporto is such a respectable guy huh? I can tell that Sporto has been so respectful towards people smaller than himself this past week right?

(Then Andy’s eyes bulged in shock as he was slightly nervous a bit at first until he was glaring at Bender and fuming.)

Claire: What's that supposed to mean you creep?

Andy: It means nothing Claire.

Bender: Really? Why so nervous there Sporto? I mean it’s not like you have anything to hide right?

Claire: Oh shut up Bender, you’re just doing this to rile Andy up and you know it!

Bender: Really? So tell me Red, aren’t you the least bit curious why Sporto here is so nervous?

Claire: I don’t want to hear it Bender, because why should I trust you? You are an obnoxious perverted creep who would say anything just to rile people up. Not too mean you are so patronizingly arrogant it’s sickening, my name is not “Red” it’s Claire and his name is not “Sporto” it’s Andy.

Bender: Oh yes Red because giving someone a nickname is such a cruel and malicious act huh?

Claire: First of all thanks for proving my point, second of all giving someone a nickname they clearly didn’t want is a form of harassment.

Bender: Whatever you say Red…

Claire: You like to say that during an argument a lot do you?

Andy: It’s just his way to make sure he gets the last word in an argument. Besides its like you said before he is just an obnoxious creep who would say anything to rile other people up so it’s not like he can be trusted.

Bender (thinking): Boy Sporto it must feel so awesome to have such a faithful and loyal follower huh? Alright I suppose I will let you win this battle, but the war is not quite done yet.

(Meanwhile at a File Storage room Principal Dick is looking over the “B” section of the Student files until he has found a certain file.)

Principal Dick: Ah yes… John Bender seems to have been inflicted with multiple wounds in his house hold and appears to be suffering from a case of post-traumatic embitterment disorder. Geez no wonder why that little shit is so fucked up…

Carl: Afternoon there Richard.

Principal Dick (slightly startled): Oh uh… Hello there Carl, what can I do for you?

Carl: Oh I dunno, I’m not sure if you’d have the time to help me out on anything since you seem to be busy helping yourself to these files.

Principal Dick: Now look Carl, these are… rather sensitive files and I would really appreciate it if you keep this between us, okay?

Carl: Okay then, got 50 bucks?

Principal Dick: Excuse me?

Carl: You heard me, I’m sure that’s a reasonable price to ensure that certain “sensitive information” like this will remain secret. Don’t you think?

Principal Dick: I see…

(Meanwhile back inside the Detention Room, all 5 of them are in the upstairs section.)

Claire: Say Brian?

Brian: Yeah Claire?

Claire: There is something I have been wondering about, why are you here in Detention? I mean it’s kind of obvious why people like Bender and Allison would be here in Detention but the only reason why Andy and I are here is due to class issues. What about you? I mean you seem really smart so I am not sure if you would have any problems with your classes, right?

Brian: Actually… I… I kind of do… Throughout my life I have been getting straight A’s my mother made extra sure that I would always get straight A’s in school since I come from a long line of Geniuses. I have been getting A’s this school year… until I took shop class. I was supposed to be making this Ceramic Elephant Lamp; I was supposed to be able to lift up the trunk so I can light it. But I was having a hard time trying to figure out how to properly design it. But then when it was time to show off my lamp the stupid thing wouldn’t turn on, I couldn’t figure out what went wrong and I got an F for that project. I never got an F before I was really upset by that and my mother was… REALLY upset by that F. I still don’t know what went wrong I mean I thought Shop would be such an easy class.

Bender: Oh really? Why do you think that Shop would be such an easy class? I mean I take Shop.

Brian: Well yeah well… what I mean all things considered I thought that Shop class would be easy to deal with at first.

(Bender is getting closer to Brian.)

Bender: All things considered? So what do you mean by that? Is it because you normally don’t find Brainiacs like yourself in Shop Classes? That they normally have a bunch of… “normal” people who could never be as smart as someone like you. *Now he has Brian by the throat* So you think that any braindead slob could ace Shop class huh?

Brian (nervous): Well uh… I uh… I… I uh… 

(Claire and Andy are looking at Bender rather angrily while Allison is looking a little concerned.)

Bender (as he lets go with a goofy smile): Heh heh, me too. *Now he has his hand on Brian’s left shoulder* Yeah I thought Shop Class would be really easy too, boy did we really fuck that one up huh?

Brian: Eh… yeah I guess so, so did you fail Shop Class too?

Bender: Actually I only got a C+ but that was in Wood Shop, but hey I did manage to get a nice B+ on Metal Shop.

Brian: Oh… well, good for you I suppose.

Bender: Thanks.

(While Alison seems to be okay now Andy & Claire are still a bit annoyed at Bender.)

Claire: That wasn’t funny Bender we really thought you were going to hurt Brian for a moment there.

Bender: Oh relax Red I’m just having some fun messing with Dork boy here.

Claire: Well don’t do that you asshole. *as she grabs Brian away from him* Brian is a nice boy so you shouldn’t be picking on him like that.

Bender: Gee Red; I thought you would try to get a little closer with Sporto as some cute ploy to spite me. But hey I don’t blame you I mean its pretty clear to see that out of these two guys Brian is clearly the bigger and better man here.

Claire: Humph they are both bigger and better men than you Bender!

Andy: Alright people lets not lose track here. Okay Brian we get it that you got an F at Shop Class recently and apparently both you and your mom got really upset about that but what does this have to do with why you are in Detention?

Brian: I was still upset about how I got that F in Shop Class and I saw that Ceramic Elephant that just wouldn’t light up then I got angry and wanted to smash that stupid thing to bits. At first I wanted to just grab that defective lamp and just toss it into the ground. But then I thought that would draw too much attention so I grabbed the nearest object I found in my locker so I grabbed that gun I got recently…

Claire: Wait WHAT?!

(Then all 4 of them looked a little shocked as they backed away slowly from Brian.)

Andy: Did… did you just say you grabbed a gun?!

Bender: Plot point!

Claire: You brought a gun?! Brian, how… how can you do such a thing? 

Brian: Wait a minute there guys I can explain!

Bender: So let me get this straight you didn’t want to just toss the shitty elephant lamp because it would make too much of a noise and a mess. So you tried to shoot it instead?

Brian: No I didn’t shoot it; I grabbed the gun and tried to break the Elephant Lamp with it. But apparently somebody saw me doing that and I got sent to the Principal’s office later on that day.

Claire: My god… Brian, why? Why would you bring a gun to school?

Brian: I… I… I had my reasons.

Andy: I’m sorry Brian, really I am but there is no good reason to bring a gun to school. I mean have you been watching the news over the years? There have been all sorts of stories about how some asshole came into a school and shot a bunch of people in which lots of people get seriously injured and killed over these shootings.

Brian: I… I wasn’t going to do that! Honest!

Bender: Hold it! Alright everyone lets just calm down here alright?

Andy: Calm down? Why the hell should we calm down?

Bender: Simple, think about it Sporto don’t you think there is something a little fishy about his little story here? Sorry Bri but there is something about your little story here that just doesn’t add up. I mean think about it you got caught bringing a gun to school and all you got was one Saturday Detention? Keep in mind that even if you never shot anyone or hell even if you never fired it all getting one Saturday Detention is still a real “Slap on the Wrist” for bringing a gun to school don’t you think?

Brian: Well its… it’s… like I said… I had different reasons to want to use a gun.

(Now instead of being scared all 4 of them suddenly looked rather concerned over Brian.)

Claire: My god…

Andy: Brian you… you weren’t going to kill yourself over an F Grade? Were you?

Claire: Listen to me Brian, suicide is not the answer.

(Then Alison looked really scared as both she and Bender nodded in agreement.)

Brian: Look guys I appreciate the concern but I wasn’t going to do that honest… It’s just that well… *sigh* It seemed like I was going to be in really big trouble until they found out that it wasn’t a real gun.

Bender: Not a real gun? What did you bring a toy gun to school?

Brian: Actually… yeah…

Andy: *phew* Brian you should’ve told us that the gun you brought into school wasn’t a real one.

Claire: Yeah Brian you had us really worried for a moment there.

Brian: I’m sorry guys, but I just panicked when I saw you all getting freaked out about it. So yeah I’m here because apparently someone caught me pistol whipping the elephant.

(Then they snickered for a few moments then they begin laughing their heads off as Brian was rather shocked about this.)

Brian: What the? Oh come on guys this isn’t funny!

Bender: Seriously Bri, you got caught Pistol Whipping the Elephant? Oh is that what their calling it now? Heh heh ah man you got caught pistol whipping an Elephant with a Toy Gun. Oh watch out folks we got a real badass over here.

Andy: Yeah man if you really want to be all Gangsta’ then you should’ve just grab the gun and bust a cap in its ass know what I mean home dog?

Bender: Oh please Sporto you are way too white to know anything about “Being Gangsta”.

Andy: And that makes me different from you how?

Bender: Perhaps but I am a bit more “Street” than you, then again that’s not exactly hard to do.

Andy: Ah Touché.

(Then Brian chuckled a little bit as he had a small smile on his face.)

Brian: Heh heh alright yeah I suppose it is kind of funny…

Andy: Heh heh okay then Brian, seriously why would you bring a gun to school even if it’s a toy gun? You keep telling us that you have reasons for wanting to bring a gun to school so what are they?

Brian: Alright I’ll tell, first of all Andy about the question earlier yes I am aware of those stories about the school shootings. I am also aware of how many times these shooters were victims of bullying but I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But I had to use something for protection.

Claire: Protection?

Brian: Yeah wimpy nerdy guys like me get attacked all the time in school. I’ve had friends and classmates get attacked at school, some of them have even been in the Emergency Room. Why one of my friends got attacked while during Gym class the other day.

Claire: My god that’s terrible.

Andy (nervous): Yeah… That’s terrible.

Bender (with a smirk): Indeed 

Brian: But I thought if I could get something that I could use to scare people away that would count right? But trying to find a good toy gun seemed a little hard at first since apparently toy companies aren’t allowed to make realistic looking guns nowadays. However a while back I saw an old toy gun at a pawn shop sure it was a little pricey but it looked real enough. The Toy Gun looked pretty old but it was still in pretty good condition and I hope people would mistake it for a real gun.

Bender: So you got an old toy gun that would pretty real at first glance huh? So did you manage to get a vintage G1 Transformers Megatron from ‘84?

Claire: Shut it Bender this is supposed to be serious.

Bender: What? I was just a little curious.

Brian: Well Bender I think that gun I got was a little bit older than that. But still the reason why I brought that gun was that I hope I could scare someone away if they wanted to attack me but I never wanted to hurt anyone, honest!

Bender: Look Bri I understand where you’re coming from I do. I understand your point on how there are bullies out there who are a bunch of chicken-shit assholes who would probably piss their pants if anyone could actually fight back. But here is a question I got to ask you Brian what about the people who wouldn’t be afraid. 

Brian: Who wouldn’t be afraid? What do you mean by that?

Bender: Its simple, sure pointing a gun at someone could give you a lot of power over a person. But there are ways you can act quickly and disarm someone holding a gun and you can be surprised how many people would actually try that. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that YOU would do such a thing but if some asshole pointed a gun at Ally May here then you can bet that I would’ve done something about it.

(Alison did have a nice small little smile about that.)

Bender: Hey Sporto, if you saw someone pointing a gun at oh say Red for example would you have done something about it? 

Andy: You know what Bender… yeah I would, I really would.

Bender: See what I mean Bri?

Brian: Yeah… But man do I feel stupid; I should’ve just grabbed something else to smash that stupid faulty Elephant Lamp.

Bender: True I can understand that but hey even if you didn’t do that then you would’ve got caught bringing a gun that looked pretty real into school eventually anyways and you know it.

Brian: Yeah I know… I understand that now…

Bender: Well good at least you understand what I’m saying here.

(Meanwhile in the School’s basement Principal Dick and Carl the Janitor are having some Soda Cans.)

Principal Dick: You know Carl I have been doing this job for over 20 years and sure it pays well but it can be such a thankless experience.

Carl: Oh really?

Principal Dick: Yeah I have been a Principal for a bunch of spoiled punks who wouldn’t know how to respect authority if their lives depended on it. I’m telling you Carl those kids have turned on me.

Carl: Oh come off of it there Richard, I mean they are just being kids. If you were a High School kid what would you think of you?

Principal Dick: Do you think I give a damn about what these kids think of me?

Carl: Yes I do, but hey to be fair I know what it’s like to have a job that’s a “thankless experience”. I mean I always wanted to be more like John Lennon ever since I was a kid. 

Principal Dick: Oh will you be serious Carl, besides we both have very different jobs. I manage how this school is run while you are basically the cleanup crew, I mean what would you know about what’s going on in this school?

Carl: What would I know heh heh you’re kidding right? Oh Richard I know plenty of things about this school. I mean ever wondered how I managed to find you looking over the student files just a few moments ago?

Principal Dick: Let me guess that wasn’t a chance meeting?

Carl: Bingo, I pick up a few things about what’s going on in this school, including certain supply closets. 

Principal Dick: I see, this is about that little punk Bender right?

Carl: Hmm… Sort of, sure that Bender maybe an obnoxious little punk but you were just giving him a good firm talk just to put him in his place. But hey it’s not like you were going to harm anyone, right?

(Then Principal Dick’s eyes widen in shock as he is starting to get nervous.)

Principal Dick: Of… of course not Carl… I mean uh… why… why would I do such a thing as harm anyone of my students. Of course I would never harm one of my students Carl.

Carl: Of course you wouldn’t Richard, I’m glad to hear that. 

(Meanwhile back in the Detention Room, Bender and Allison were being approached by Brian.)

Allison: Hey there my little Milk and Cookies, what’s up?

Brian: Oh hey there you two, actually there is something I have been meaning to say earlier, namely about your little performance about my “family life”.

Bender: Oh I see so you’re still a little sore about that?

Brian: Actually I have kind of mixed feelings about it.

Bender (slightly surprised): Really?

(In which now this little conversation has Claire and Andy’s attention as they are now watching Brian.)

Brian: Your little performance was pretty good, I liked Allison’s little take as a kid version of me.

Allison: Aw thank you Milk and Cookies.

Brian: Your welcome, but while your little skit was pretty good and accurate… that is… until you two brought my mother into this.

Bender: Oh really?

Brian: Yeah, I mean don’t get me wrong Allison’s performance as my mom was rather nice but… you see… that was when your skit wasn’t so accurate anymore. In fact I will show you *ahem*…

(Brian gets up on the little “stage” that Bender and Allison were using earlier.)

Brian (Dad Voice): Alright son, be sure to get yourself dressed and packed before we go fishing.

Brian (Kid Voice): Okay dad.

Brian (Mom Voice, slightly irritated): Dear… what’s going on here?

Brian (Dad Voice, nervous): Oh uh… Morning, Dear… I… I just thought I take our dear son out fishing. You know for some Father and Son time.

Brian (Mom Voice): Brian would you be a dear and head over to the Kitchen. Your father and I need a little chat.

Brian (Kid Voice): Okay Mom.

Brian (Mom Voice): So dear, your idea is to have our dear genius son be stuck in a boat on a lake in the middle of nowhere to do nothing while you hope you might actually catch a fish?

Brian (Dad Voice): Well… we could talk about things while we fish.

Brian (Mom Voice): Yes dear, but we both know that times like this are meant for him to study.

Brian (Dad Voice): Well… he could take some of his books with him while we fish?

Brian (Mom Voice): Yes but what if any of those books got in the water accidentally? Are you going to pay for those books dear?

Brian (Dad Voice): Well I just thought… this fishing trip might be a… nice break for Brian here.

Brian (Mom Voice): Break? Break? Geniuses don’t get “breaks” when it comes to studying. Our son is from a long line of Intellectuals, and did you think any of them wasted a morning by doing nothing but fishing?

Brian (Dad Voice): Uh no…

Brian (Mom Voice): Exactly, now instead of wasting everyone’s time with your stupid idea of going fishing you should clean out the garage like I told you to yesterday. Understood?

Brian (Dad Voice): Yes dear…

Brian (Mom Voice): Good, now go! Oh Brian would you come over here please?

Brian (Kid Voice): So Mom can I go get packed for my fishing trip with Dad now?

Brian (Mom Voice): Son you are not going anywhere, you know very well that Sunday mornings are meant for you to do some studying right?

Brian (Kid Voice): Well yeah but… but I thought Dad was going to give me a fun little road trip here.

Brian (Mom Voice): Son, how many times do I have to tell you that you come from a long line of Geniuses? You are far too intelligent to waste a morning doing nothing but fishing. You don’t want to be stupid now do you son?

Brian (Kid Voice): No mother…

Brian (Mom Voice): Exactly now run up stairs and start on your studying, now. Oh yes and son, in the future be sure that this never happens again alright?

Brian (Kid Voice): Yes mother…

(Then Brian went ahead and bowed to his “audience” in which the other 4 looked rather uncomfortable about Brian’s little skit here as Allison patted Brian’s head out of sympathy while Claire did get a little bit closer as well looking rather concerned.)

Bender (thinking): Ah man, Ol’ Bri here is getting dangerously close to having some Norman Bates level of “Mommy Issues” here. 

Brian: Thanks guys… But you know I have been thinking… you all seem to be really cool people and I like to think you all have become my friends. But here is the thing… what happens when it’s Monday and we all go back to our normal lives during school hours? What’s going to happen to us? Are we still going to be friends? 

(Then all 4 of them were looking at Brian and pondered about his question in which Andy and Claire looked a little uncomfortable about it.)

Andy: Well I… I suppose… Eh what I mean is… *as he tries to smile* Sure, Brian I suppose we still can be…

Claire: *sigh* Brian do you really want to know the truth?

Brian: Yeah…

Claire: Then… No…

Brian: What? Wha…Why not?

Andy: Claire what are you doing? Why are you saying no to him like that?

Claire: I’m trying to be honest here Andy, I mean I know you feel the same way.

Andy: That’s not true!

Claire: Yes it is, think about it Andy you’re a Varsity Letterman in the School’s Wrestling Team while Brian is a member of the school’s academic clubs. How often do athletes and nerds actually become friends in school? I mean think about it if Brian walked up to you while you were with the other wrestlers and said hi to you what would you do? Simple you would try to act cool and pretend you don’t know him.

Andy: I… I wouldn’t do anything like that, honest!

Claire: Oh really? Well then do you think any of the other Wrestlers would treat Brian as a friend? Would they think it would be cool if you were friends with some nerd boy, huh?

Andy: Well… No… But… But… *sigh* Look Claire, you don’t have to do this, I mean think about what you’re saying here.

Claire: Look Andy I get it, you don’t want to hurt him. Believe me I don’t want to either but he was going to find out about this anyways. I… I just figured it would be for the best to let him know about it now… you know what I mean right Andy, right?

(Andy was rather hesitant to answer.)

Brian: So Allison, what about you? Do you think your friends will have a problem with me?

Allison: Would my friends have any problem with you? I don’t know I would have to check… Bender, what do you think about letting Brian hang with us?

Bender: You know what? Sure, why not.

Allison: Alright then it’s settled, you seem to already know Carl the Janitor so you seem to be in good standards with all my friends so sure.

Bender: Oh wait a minute there is Garth, remember when I introduced you to him a while back?

(Then Andy rolled his eyes in annoyance at hearing Garth’s name.)

Allison: Oh yeah Garth, he is a pretty nice guy I’m sure he’ll be okay with you Brian.

Claire: Yeah well Brian would be a lot better off staying with his friends then with freaky loners like you.

Allison: Oh really? Well at least I wouldn’t exclude him in public. But why should you care about who Brian hangs out with? I mean it’s not like you would.

Claire: It’s… It’s a matter of principle… I mean you all know how things go in school, it’s not like we can change anything about it.

Brian: You know Claire, I… I just can’t figure this out… I mean we have been getting along rather well today I… I thought that maybe you… you liked me…

Claire: I… I…

Brian: But that sounds stupid huh? I mean a popular pretty girl liking a skinny nerdy boy like me? I must sound so incredibly stupid to you huh? But hey if this is what you want…

Claire: I don’t want it! In fact I hate it! I hate it when I have to always go with what my friends say! But you don’t know what kind of pressure they put me through. I mean what would you know about the pressure that I go through?

Brian: Pressure? Pressure? Claire, I am supposed to act like a model student even though I can get attacked at any time and hardly anyone will seem to care. But what would I know about pressure huh? I am always supposed to ace all my classes but what would I know about pressure? My mommy will only love me if I have perfect grades in School, but what would I know about pressure huh? WHAT THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW ABOUT PRESSURE HUH?!

(Then Brian just broke down and cried as he covered his face in shame. While Allison was initially very sad to see Brian like this then she quickly glared at Claire.)

Allison: Tell me Claire, do you enjoy being so frigid or is today a special day for you? So Claire, what if I approached you at Monday with your prissy rich friends, what would you do?

Claire: You know what Allison; I am starting to remember you now. Some of my friends have told me about some weird girl dressed in black; I bet they were talking about you. I have heard stories about some weird freaky girl who is an ugly freaky weirdo and a lying whore. In fact some of them have even said that to you remember?

Allison (as she is starting to tear up): Yeah… I… I remember…

Claire: Yeah and quite frankly I am starting to see where they are coming from, that you’re a deranged slutty freak. So to answer your question, I would say no and told you to get lost, you brain-damaged freak! Got it?

Allison: Yeah… I got it…

Claire: Good.

(Andy is rather shocked by Claire’s behavior while Bender is increasingly fuming with rage here.)

Bender: You fucking cunt.

(Then most of them looked rather surprised at Bender, especially Claire.)

Claire: Wha… What did you call me?

Bender: Oh I’m sorry was I being a bit too subtle? Okay then Claire perhaps I shall be a bit more clear… YOU ARE A FUCKING CUNT CLAIRE! You understand me now you stuck-up little shit?

Claire (as she is starting to tear up): You know I have feelings too Bender and it hurts when you stomp all over them like that!

Bender (incredibly shocked): What?! Eh heh heh heh… Oh my god, I don’t believe this… I can’t believe I’m hearing this… You brought not one but TWO of your fellow classmates into tears just moments and now you have the fucking audacity to tell me that it’s wrong to hurt other people’s feelings. That is just too fucking rich…

Claire: Oh shut up! At least I am trying to be honest and realistic here!

Bender: Oh yes Claire, you are being “honest and realistic” here. And by “honest and realistic” I mean being a petty shallow little bitch.

Claire: Oh yeah?! Well you call me a bitch but at least I am not a hypocrite like you! I mean would you take Allison to one of your Heavy Metal throw-up parties?

Bender: Sure, I’ve done that plenty of times, isn’t that right Allie May?

Allison: Uh-huh

Claire: Oh what about taking Brian out into the parking lot so you two can get high?

Bender: Now that you mention it… No I don’t think I would do that…

Claire: Ha! See!

Bender: That’s only because he is trying to stay off the stuff there Claire, after all not all my friends are pot-heads. Oh yes speaking of Bri here, he had a rather valid point on how you two were getting along really well. But then when you suddenly realized “Oh wait you mean I am suppose to be seen with him in public? Oh no I better toss him out like a used tampon before anyone would know”. I mean heaven forbid you wouldn’t want to commit a horrible sin like showing the “little people” any fucking compassion huh? But hey you know all those stories about the nerdy boy hooking up with the pretty popular girl? Oh sure it may seem like a popular though cliché bullshit fantasy sometimes but at times like this can you blame people for wanting to believe something like that could happen? But hey Bri if it’s any consolation, you’re not the only one who’s a little surprised by Claire’s behavior here.

(While Claire was really upset by what Bender is saying to her, she did also briefly notice how miserable Brian is right now.)

Bender: Oh yeah and Claire about your little… chat with Allison, I am only going to say this once… Don’t you EVER talk like that to Allison ever again! You hear me?! Allison is far more of a woman than you ever will be! You got that?! *as his voice is starting to crack* Do you have any idea how many times I have seen heartless little cunts like you treat Allison like shit like you did? Huh?! Oh but you want to tell us that you’re not so bad. You’re not as bad as those other rich cunts you hang out with and that you’re being pressured to be a stuck-up bitch. But that is such complete and utter bullshit and you know it Claire. After what you said to Allison here I know for a fact that you are just as much of a heartless bitch as those other cunts and you don’t want to admit it!

Claire (crying): I hate you!

Bender: Oh you hate me huh? Well then, why don’t you do us all a favor and go fuck yourself? I mean it’s not like anyone else is going to anytime soon, huh? 

Andy: That’s enough Bender!

Bender: Really Sporto? Really?! Even after all this little shit-stain has done you are still going to fucking white knight her? But perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised, after all it’s not like you’re any different from her as you were going to do the exact same thing that she will be doing. Namely come Monday during school you are going to ignore that we ever existed there Sporto.

Andy: No I wouldn’t! I even said that I wouldn’t and you know it!

Bender: Yeah Sporto but here’s the thing; I don’t buy that one bit. Oh you said that you won’t ignore the rest of us by Monday but you also agreed with Claire that your jock buddies wouldn’t be cool with the idea of you getting all buddy-buddy with some nerd boy right? 

Andy: Well yeah… but… but…

Bender: But nothing! But hey Sporto I suppose I should give you some credit I mean unlike Claire here at least you’re willing to pretend that you’re a remotely decent human being. Though looking back I shouldn’t be too surprised by all this I should’ve figured that it was only a matter of time you two reveal your true colors.

Andy: Grr… THAT’S IT! I have had it with you Bender! The only real reason why we are all so miserable is because you keep harassing us you god-damned sociopath! We all would’ve been a lot better off today if you didn’t keep starting shit up and you know it! You know what screw the fact that we’re in school, in fact I am starting to become glad that I am here today. I said I was going to protect Claire and Brian from you Bender so I am going to do what I should’ve done right from the start and take you down once and for all!

(Andy grabs Bender by the throat.)

Andy: Any last words, before I break your jaw asshole?

Bender: Yeah I have a few choice words for you, shut the fuck up you hypocritical sack of shit.

Andy: What did you say?

Bender: You heard me; first of all you want to protect most of them from me? Ah ha ha ha ha… Oh that’s hilarious, because I was thinking of saying the same thing to you. First of all you want to know the real reason why I gave Allie May here a massage earlier was to help her feel better, and it’s all because of you Sporto.

Andy: What?

Bender: You heard me, earlier today when the Principal sent Sporto and Allie May here out to get some sodas apparently Sporto tried to get fresh with Allie May here and made his move on her and freaking her out in the process. So Sporto you say I shouldn’t harass a girl and not touch her? Does the phrase “Practice what you preach” ring a bell?

Andy: Hey! That’s not true! I wasn’t trying to get fresh with Allison here I was… I was just trying to calm her down! Besides that whole incident was an accident! While you on the other hand have been harassing Claire and you’ve been doing that deliberately!

Bender: Perhaps but there is other things to consider such as how both Allie May and I noticed when we first came in here that poor little Brian here was pretty scared shitless when he first saw you here. But hey considering the fact you attacked one of his classmates recently can anyone really blame him?!

Claire (terrified): What? 

Bender: Oh that’s right Claire; you don’t know the real reason why Andy is here do you? Oh so sorry there Red but your “Handsome Hero” here was sent to Detention for assault. Tell me Sporto does the name Larry Lester ring a bell? I’ve heard that one day during gym class you saw Larry Lester in the Locker Room and you were suddenly in the mood to be a complete dick and attacked him! Oh yes and by attack him I mean you got some tape and taped his butt cheeks shut while your Jock Buddies cheered you on! Oh yes I also heard that when they got the tape out of Larry’s ass they not only pulled out hair but some skin as well. So let me get this straight Sporto, you assaulted that poor kid just for you and your jock buddies’ shits and giggles and your calling ME a sociopath? Yeah that’s right Sporto you know what I am saying here is true and you know it. I know it, Allie May here knows it and even Brian knows it.

Claire: Is that true Brian?

(Brian got his head up noticing the other 4 watching him looking rather upset, he then noticed Andy looking really agitated and even starting to glare at him a bit. In which that got Brian rather scared then he noticed how Claire was looking really concerned at Brian in which then he started to get the courage to say this.)

Brian: Yeah… it is true, I even heard the story when some of my friends and I tried to visit Larry later on that day. So yeah everything Bender said about that incident is true.

Claire: Oh my god… Andy you… you lied to me.

Andy: Now Claire I… I can explain!

Claire: You lied to me! No wonder why those two kept laughing at me for believing your little story that you were only here because of bad grades. God I feel so stupid, so stupid…

Bender: Yes Claire you were indeed really stupid, and I suppose it’s a little surprising you didn’t already know since word did spread pretty quickly about what Sporto here did to poor Larry recently. Then again Claire you’re so wrapped up in your little world of First World problems I suppose that’s the reason why. Besides Claire I really have no idea why you’re acting like you have any moral high ground but what can I say? You two deserve each other.

Andy: Shut it Bender.

Bender: But hey like I said before I should’ve figured that it was only a matter of time until you two revealed your true colors. And for what I may ask? Why to keep up with the good Ol’ Status Quo of course. Oh how it warms my heart to see that you two strive to keep that good ol’ Status Quo alive and well here in Shermer High, it truly does.

Andy: Shut up Bender.

Bender: Oh what’s that Sporto, you said something?

Andy: Shut up Bender.

Bender: What's that? I can’t hear you?

Andy: SHUT UP BENDER! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

(Andy is breathing heavily as he is trying really hard to regain his composure.) 

Andy: You know Bender times like this make me wonder, what’s the real reason why you’re so fucking repulsive. Is it because you are an obnoxious bastard or is it because you’re a self-righteous prick? You keep accusing Claire and I for having this “Holier than Thou” attitude and yet all day long you’re the one who keeps acting like your better than all of us.

Bender: Oh really?

Andy: Yeah, but hey Bender guess what? You think you have dirt on me? Heh heh oh boy I have dirt on you too! In fact gather around everyone and let me tell you a story. Why I remember on how in fact it was about a year ago and the college fair was just around the corner. If I remembered correctly the Coach told my friends and I about how the Quarterback for the School’s Football Team was going to come to all of us and give us a lecture about how to be prepared for getting into College after High School since he got himself a good Scholarship. And I for one was looking forward to hearing that but yet for something that never got to happen. Why is that? Oh yeah that’s right, because not too long after that little announcement later on that day he was found unconscious in the gym locker room with a black eye and a bruise on his face. At first none of us could figure why this happened, I mean he was such a swell charismatic guy. Why would anyone want to hurt someone like him? But it wasn’t until about 2 or 3 days later we started to find a potential suspect regarding who could’ve attacked him and I know exactly who that suspect is. Hmm?

(Meanwhile as Andy was talking about this event, Allison was getting more & more scared as she was holding herself while shivering.)

Bender: That was a rumor Sporto…

Andy: Rumor? Really?

Bender: Yeah it was a rumor, caused by some of your jock buddies. They probably wanted some sort of scapegoat.

Andy: Oh don’t you dare give me that bullshit there Bender, oh sure it may’ve been “just a rumor” but it’s a highly probable one. In fact I have a pretty good theory over what happened, you wanted to prove that your one of the biggest bad-asses in school so you thought you’ll prove how tough you are by attacking someone big at school. Like maybe say the Quarterback of the School Football Team? But let’s be serious here we all know that a chickenshit asshole like you would’ve gone his pansy ass kicked if you directly picked a fight with him so what do you? Simple you hide somewhere and when the time was just right you sucker punched him and ran off like the gutless little coward you are. Am I getting warmer now? Huh?

Bender: Not even close Sporto, not even close at all.

Andy: Oh I dunno Bender it seems pretty damn likely to me. You know Bender I remember how some of my friends and fellow athletes have even beaten the shit out of you for what you did that day. My only regret is that I wasn’t there to see it. But hey you keep saying that it was only a rumor caused by my “Jock Buddies” as you so quaintly put it. But think about this, the Quarterback was found beaten and unconscious in the gym locker room. After all one of my “Jock Buddies” was the one who found him in the locker room, and tell me who would be more likely to see someone like you at the Gym that day? Get the picture?

(Then Allison was holding herself as she had a terrified look on her face with tears in her eyes as she was breathing heavily. Then Brian started to notice Allison and was getting rather concerned about her behavior.) 

Brian (nervous): Uh guys? What's wrong with Allison here?

Bender: What the… *Then as Bender notices Allison, his eyes widened in terror* Oh no…

(Then as Bender rushed over to Allison and was about to comfort her until…)

Andy: Hey! Don’t you dare walk from me Bender! I definitely think you were the one who attacked the Quarterback of the Football Team last year! And I know the real reason why Bender, it’s because you know that deep down when it comes to this school you don’t even count. You could disappear forever and it won’t make any fucking difference. You might as well not even exist in this school and quite frankly we’d all be better off if you didn’t. Got it?

Bender (with his left eye twitching): Yeah I got it…

(Allison’s left eye was twitching as well as her eyes widen in shock after hearing Andy’s last statement, her breathing got even heavier until…)

Allison: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

(She quickly got up screaming and immediately ran at Andy and before Andy had any time to move Allison lunged at him knocking him down.)

Claire: What the hell?!

Brian: Oh my god…

Bender: No…

(Allison had Andy pinned to the ground in which she was trying to punch him but Andy was trying to get a good grip on Allison’s hands. While Andy was of course initially scared that he was being attacked like this but he also noticed Allison’s tears on his face as she was struggling to free her hands from Andy’s grip.)

Bender: Ah no… no…

Claire: Get off of him you freak! *as she tries to grab Allison off of Andy* Get off of him!

(Then Claire notices one of the nearby books and grabs it and then.)

Claire: I said get off of him! *as she whacks Allison in the face with that book knocking her down*

Bender: ALLISON!

(Then Bender was at first fuming in rage as he was glaring at Claire with a left twitch in his eye but then he quickly went over to check up on Allison.)

Claire: Alright you freak, I’ve had enough of this! Now tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?! 

(As Allison is trying to get herself up but is still feeling rather unhinged.)

Allison: What's wrong with me? Heh heh heh heh… What's… wrong with me? Okay I’ll tell you all. Andy, there is one thing you are correct about, namely that Bender DID attack that guy and it wasn’t just a rumor. But you only know a part of the story here.

Andy: What?

Claire: How would you know about this?

Allison: Don’t you get it… I was there.

(Now we are being treated to a flashback scene with a somewhat younger Allison roaming the school halls.)

Allison: As far back as I could remember I was by myself, I didn’t have any friends and I was having trouble trying to talk to people. I was alone; I was always watching people, watching them having a good time with each other. I would like to be able to talk to people, to make friends and have fun but I didn’t know how. I always thought that nobody would want anything to do with a loner like me, more like a freak like me. But then I thought maybe if I looked a bit more normal and try to wear prettier clothes than maybe people will notice me. So I tried that, and at first it was only slightly helpful as I did get a few glances from people checking out my new outfit but nobody approached me. However one day that did change as I was being approached by someone…

(We are now seeing Allison in a light violet dress being approached by a young man in a Varsity Sports Jacket.)

Quarterback: Why hello there, what's a cute little thing like you doing in a place like this? What's your name little lady?

Allison: Are… are you talking to me?

Quarterback: Yeah I am talking to you. I mean it’s not like there is anyone else here huh?

Allison: Oh… Oh well… uh… my name is Allison, Allison Reynolds. 

Quarterback: Ah that is a nice name.

Allison: Uh… Thank you; say that Jacket looks a little familiar. Are you one of the athletes at school here?

Quarterback: Oh I’m more than just an athlete; I am the Quarterback of the School’s Football team so I am a pretty big man here in this campus. Pretty cool, huh?

Allison: Yeah I suppose that is pretty cool…

Quarterback: So I have an idea, I know of a place where we can have some fun, want to come with me?

Allison: Oh… Okay, sure, I’ll come with you.

Quarterback: Okay then, cool, follow me then little lady.

(Now as we see Allison and the Quarterback walking.)

Allison (os, narrating): And then I followed him, at first it was a little exciting to wonder where he was taking me to. Before that day I didn’t remember ever being approached by anyone at school let alone someone famous like him. Where was he going to take me too? The Cafeteria, the school’s football field, what? But it turns out he was taking me to the Gym’s locker room. I had no idea why at first as I wondered what we could do here.

(Now we see Allison and the Quarterback in front of the Gym’s Male Locker Room door.)

Quarterback: This is the spot.

Allison: Really?

Quarterback: Yeah

Allison: Wha… what are we going to do?

Quarterback: You just go on in and sit down while I help you feel a little bit more… comfortable. 

Allison: Oh… Okay…

(Then as Allison got inside and sat on one of benches in the Locker Room, feeling a little nervous. Then the Quarterback leisurely walked behind then started to rub her shoulders in which Allison was a little surprised at first but tried to relax. However that relaxation was short-lived as the Quarterback was now necking Allison namely gentling kissing the back of her neck. Now Allison is getting rather nervous and flustered as the Quarterback’s hands were feeling up Allison’s thighs.)

Allison: Wha… Wha…

(Then Allison noticed the Quarterback’s left hand going up her skirt feeling up her panties. In which that got Allison to break away from his hold there and she was trying to get up.)

Allison: What are you doing? 

Quarterback: What does it look like? I did say I was going to take you somewhere so we can have a little bit of fun and I did.

Allison: But… but… we just met, I mean shouldn’t we try to get to know each other first?

Quarterback: Hey now, you’re not the first lady I brought here nor will you be the last. This is just some good old fashioned kinky fun namely a little casual hanky panky sort to speak. Listen, I’m not such a bad guy once you get to know me. So why not calm down so we can take things nice and slow.

(Now as the Quarterback is leaning towards Allison as she is lying down on the bench as the Quarterback is now on top of her. In which he is now grabbing one of Allison’s breasts and is slowly squeezing it causing her to moan a bit.)

Quarterback: Not bad, I’ve felt a lot bigger but this is a nice little handful.

Allison: Eh… What…. Why… Why is this happening?

Quarterback: Like I said before, relax, we got plenty of time until somebody comes back here. Besides I really don’t know why you’re being so nervous I mean, didn’t you forget? I’m the Quarterback of this school’s Football team. 

Allison: Well, yes but… but…

Quarterback: But what? Look like I said before I am the Quarterback of the Football team, girls normally don’t reject someone like me. I mean you don’t want to be known as the girl who rejects one of the hottest players in the football team right?

Allison: Well I uh… I…

Quarterback: Right, so then relax and let’s have some fun.

(Then all of a sudden Bender came in knocking the door open and he quickly noticed the Quarterback looking slightly confused as he is on top of a rather scared Allison. Then Bender glared at the Quarterback.)

Allison: What the…

Quarterback: Huh? Who the hell are you? And do you mind? I’m kind of busy here!

(Then Bender rushed in and punched the Quarterback in the face knocking him down as Allison was laying there being rather shocked about this. Then Allison was even more shocked as Bender grabbed her and they ran off and away from the Locker Room. They ran for a few minutes and as they made enough distance from the Locker Room and into one of the hallways at school they stopped to catch their breath for a bit.)

Allison: Excuse me but… but what's going on?

Bender: Are you okay? 

Allison: Yeah, thank you… 

Bender: You should probably stay here, in case if anyone saw us. See ya…

(As Bender runs off)

Allison: Wait! Come back! (as he is now too far away to hear her) I didn’t even know his name… 

Allison (os, narrating): I was both confused and scared about that whole incident as I tried to understand why it happened at all. But over the next couple of days, I tried to tell other people what happened to me and… well… well…

(We are now seeing another flashback where we see Allison getting harassed by a small group of girls wearing stylish blouses.)

School Girl A: What a liar!

School Girl B: Yeah, our school’s Quarterback is one of the coolest guys in school. Why would someone dreamy like him do anything with an ugly freak like you?

School Girl C: Uh-huh you’re just some skank who’s lying just to get some attention. 

School Girl A: No kidding, you’re just some slut who likes to make up vicious lies.

School Girl B: Not that anyone would be stupid enough to believe those lies.

School Girl C: Yeah you’re just some ugly freak who likes to say stories like that to get attention so get out of our face you lying whore.

(Now as the flashback ends and Allison is holding herself shivering in fear.)

Claire: Did that really happen? 

Allison: Uh-huh… *as she is starting to laugh* But don’t you get it? I’m a whore, I’m a filthy whore. I AM A FILTHY FUCKING WHORE! I tried to tell people that someone tried to have their way with me but what do I know huh? I’m just some lying slut right? Right?!

Brian: My god…

(Now Claire was starting to look rather scared as well as she seems to be quite horrified at what Allison is saying and is becoming very guilt-stricken about it.)

Allison: *sigh* I didn’t understand why, I mean I tried to say no. Really I thought I was being good, right? A good girl wouldn’t screw around with a guy she just met right? Yet to them I was nothing more than a whore. I tried telling other people about that incident but I have been hated, laughed at, spat on and more. The people who didn’t hate me for this just looked sad and walked away, that was the nicest reaction I got. I was so confused… Is this what it means to be normal? 

(Then Andy and Claire look particularly uncomfortable about that question.)

Allison: For a time I wanted to go back to being alone, as being alone was better than this. But then I remembered, what about that boy who saved me? I tried asking around if anyone knew where he was, most of the people I asked tried to ignore me. It’s probably because they remember me as “That Lying Freaky Slut”… but fortunately not everyone ignored me, someone told me he saw that boy I was describing and told me his name was John Bender. He also told me he saw Bender walking slowly in the halls earlier that day in school, namely at the right side of the school nearby one of the supply closets. So I ran over there, I looked around the right school hallway but I couldn’t find him. I admit at first I was a little nervous until I remember he said he saw Bender near the supply closet. So I tried to go there and…

(Now we see Bender lying down on the floor in the Supply Closet writhing in pain with a couple of bruises in his face and with a bloody mouth. Bender was trying to rest until he suddenly heard a knock on the door.)

Allison (os): Hello? Is there anyone in there?

Bender: Uh?

(Bender wasn’t entirely sure whether to answer or not until…)

Allison (os): I am looking for a John Bender. 

Bender: What the? It’s you…

(Then Allison started to feel excited at first to hear Bender’s voice and opened the door. However that excitement was very short-lived as she saw Bender lying on the floor with a bloody mouth & bruised face as he was holding one of his ribs.)

Bender: Hey there it’s been a while…

(While Bender tried to smile, Allison was absolutely shocked to see Bender like this. It was bad enough that Allison was maliciously ostracized by her peers regarding that incident with the Quarterback but to see the guy who saved her like this was just too much but as she slowly approached Bender.)

Allison (tearing up): *gasp* My god… What… What happened to you?

Bender: Oh this? I just had a little run-in with some of the members of the Football Team earlier today. Apparently they wanted a little chat with me about what happened to their beloved Quarterback the other day.

Allison: Really?

Bender: Uh-huh, told those bastards they were just looking for some scapegoat, apparently they didn’t take that too well…

Allison: I see… So you were attacked, and it was all because you saved me.

Bender: Yeah… Well that wasn’t the only thing that happened recently. You know how when I knocked that asshole jock down and got him away from you well apparently when someone found him later on that day it caused a little panic in school. Later on that day after school, the Ol’ Bender household got a little call from the Police. They were looking for me because I was the main suspect of an assault case earlier that day and I was going to need to come over to the Police Station later on that day for questioning. However my old man did not take that well and wanted to beat the shit out of me for being so stupid.

Allison: What?

Bender: Oh but that’s nothing too strange, my dad would love to beat me on a regular basis. But later on that day while I was at the station, I saw some middle aged guy in a suit there who was apparently that asshole jock’s Dad and apparently he decided not to press charges. Oh sure it seems like a good thing right? But I soon had a good idea why that would happen as my parents got a bunch of money later on that day, probably some hush money from that rich asshole in the suit. In which of course I didn’t get a cent out of that from my old man. But I also remembered how that smug rich old asshole looked at me and said “Oh there is no reason for any of us to go through anymore trouble over this. As long as this young man knows his place in life, that’s all that matters”. Oh I wanted to punch that smug old prick in the throat but I’ve already had enough trouble with assault charges for one day. Things have been going so swell huh?

Allison: I’M SORRY! I’m sorry! I am so… so sorry… I never wanted this to happen; I never wanted this to happen to you! A freak like me doesn’t deserve someone like you. I am sorry… I am so sorry… 

(Then Allison broke down and cried, and then Bender had a rather melancholic expression on his face as he sees Allison like this with a small tear in his left eye. But then Bender tried to get himself up but was slightly struggling in the process but as he was sitting up and approached Allison.)

Bender: Listen to me; this is not your fault. You are not a freak and you do not deserve this. Don’t you dare let anyone else tell you otherwise okay?

Allison: Okay… So you don’t hate me for getting you into so much trouble? You don’t regret saving me?

Bender: Not at all kid, not at all. But still you got to realize that this is not your fault.

(Then Allison went back to crying but this time hugged Bender tightly. At first Bender did slightly wince in pain at first since his ribs were still sore but he refrain from commenting on that as he is comforting Allison here. Now as the Flashback comes to a stop we are back in the Detention Room as we see Allison on the floor with Bender with tears in her eyes.)

Allison: That was the first time that I can recall that I knew that someone does care about me…

(Then as Allison is now glaring at Andy.)

Allison: So don’t you dare tell me that Bender should never exist in this school! Because if he didn’t then I… I…

(Then Bender tried to calm her down by hugging her from behind then we see Brian approaching them.)

Brian (tears in his eyes): Allison?

Allison: Yeah?

(Then Brian went ahead and hugged Allison, all of them was surprised particularly Allison as her eyes did slightly bulge in shock at first. But that feeling quickly passed as Allison did smile and warmly received that hug in which Bender went back to hugging Allison from behind.)

Allison: Hey, you want to know why I kept calling you Milk and Cookies?

Brian: Yeah

Allison: Because you’re sweet.

(Then Allison hugged Brian back in which Bender did smile about that in which he quickly decided to join in on the hug as well. Though Andy and Claire were still feeling highly uneasy as they were still rather shocked about the story they were listening to. Meanwhile in the School’s Basement we see Principal Dick and Carl again and the Principal is feeling rather tense.)

Principal Dick: Say uh… Carl?

Carl: Yeah?

Principal Dick: Shortly after I personally escorted Bender away from the Detention room from the rest of his classmates I heard a loud noise coming from the Detention Room. At first I thought that Bender might’ve somehow escaped but… I didn’t find him there and I was just wondering if… you might have known what could have happened there.

Carl: Really? Oh I see what this is… You think I helped him escape did you? 

Principal Dick: Well… I just figured that you knew where he was at the time…

Carl: Well I didn’t do anything like that Richard.

Principal Dick: Are you saying that just to protect your job Carl?

Carl: No I’m not Richard, I’m telling the truth. Besides what makes you think I would do anything to help that little punk Bender.

Principal Dick: Alright I’ll tell you, because I’ve seen you fraternizing with him and his little accomplice before and more than once. Do you deny it?

Carl: You know what Richard? No, I won’t deny it.

Principal Dick: Then it’s all the more reason for me to suspect that you may be aiding that punk Bender. But seriously Carl you seem to be a smart guy why the hell is someone like you willing to help someone like Bender?

Carl: Alright yes I have hung out with those two in the past but that doesn’t mean I have been “helping” that punk Bender. If there is anyone I am trying to help it’s his “little accomplice” Allison. In fact speaking of which this reminds me of a little something I remember about a year ago. Remember that incident when a student was found unconscious at the Boys Locker Room in the Gym?

Principal Dick: Yeah, that boy was the Quarterback of the School’s Football Team. He was found in the locker room and was soon given proper Medical Attention. But fortunately despite how that boy was assaulted his father gave this School a generous Donation to help fund the School soon after this incident occurred.

Carl: Yeah, but there is a bit more to this story huh Richard?

Principal Dick: Carl, where are you going with this?

Carl: Oh you know exactly where I am going here Richard. In fact I know the real reason why that boy was knocked out. But perhaps I am getting a bit too ahead of myself here. Anyways unfortunately that incident occurred during on one of the few days I was out sick but I was back to work the next day and a lot of students were talking about this incident. Over the next couple of days I was hearing more & more things about this incident including how some of the athletes suspect a certain someone, namely Bender for attacking the School’s Quarterback. I wasn’t sure if that was true at first but not only did I found out that Bender did attack that boy but I found out why. Namely the real reason why Bender attacked that boy was to save Allison!

Principal Dick: N…Now, now Carl you don’t know whether if that is true or not, nor can you prove it.

Carl: Oh I got a pretty good account of that incident from the real victim of this incident namely Allison. That one of the students tried to take advantage of Allison and you ignored that and ignored her.

Principal Dick: That wasn’t my fault! I mean… I… I was just doing my job.

Carl: Your job, really? Richard, your job is to help make sure these Students get a good education in a safe and productive environment. Yet one of your students gets sexually assaulted by another student, but what did you do? You ran towards the money, as that boy’s father gives this place a nice big check while the girl who was the real victim gets ignored. That girl was sexually assaulted and you turned a blind eye to it just for the sake of money.

Principal Dick: I KNOW THAT! I… I know all of that… But I couldn’t do anything about it at all. I didn’t have any choice…

Carl: Sure you could Richard, there’s always a choice.

Principal Dick: Carl I could lose my job if I did and you know it.

Carl: Oh so you refuse to stand up for one of your students just so you can keep your cushy job right?

Principal Dick: Carl you don’t understand at all. This wasn’t my idea; it was the School Board’s idea. They wanted to take that donation so we can make sure this School doesn’t get any more bad press. Even after all the years I’ve spent as Principal I can be considered surprisingly expendable. So even if I did try to go against the idea of just taking that check and keep quiet do you know that would’ve accomplished? Nothing! They could just easily fire me, get a replacement Principal and act as if nothing happened! 

Carl *sigh* I see… Alright I admit that what you’re saying is true… While I admit I do understand your point there is something you got to understand. You want to know how I learned the truth about Bender saving Allison from that student. I heard it from Allison herself… It was about a couple of days after the incident, I was heading over to one of the supply closets then I overheard Allison having a little chat with Bender there. That’s when I heard the whole story about how shocked Allison was to see the boy who saved her is lying on the floor with a bloody mouth. *as Carl tries not to cry* Then I saw her broke down and cry about getting him into trouble… that poor girl… after all she went through she blamed herself for everything. But Bender was the one who got her to see that this whole situation was not her fault. Don’t get me wrong I do understand that Bender maybe an obnoxious little punk but he has done more for that poor girl than any of us have.

Principal Dick (looking rather guilt-stricken): Yeah…

Carl (calming down): I wanted to do something about this, I will admit to you right now that at first I wanted to blow the whistle on this school and tell the media exactly what happened. But without evidence I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere. I’ve tried looking around to find evidence that will prove that Allison did get sexually assaulted but I couldn’t find anything. I couldn’t find any surveillance camera footage or anything else. Then what really frustrated me about this was that the day this incident occurred was one of the days I was out sick. I mean for crying out loud of all the days for me to be out sick it had to be that one. But still I wish I was at school that day because if I saw that incident that day then I would’ve done something about it. 

Principal Dick: Don’t blame yourself Carl you did all that you could’ve done. After all you remember that boy’s father who gave this school a big donation shortly after this incident occurred? Well he also got this case settled out of court and gave Bender and Allison’s parents a good cash settlement as well.

Carl: Yeah I know, I heard about that a while back from Allison that her parents got a good amount of money from that boy’s father. At least Allison’s parents let her be able to use that money at all.

Principal Dick: Yeah well I am sure it’s for the best that we just put that old mess behind us right?

Carl: Heh yeah I’m sure you and the school board would like that huh?

Principal Dick: Actually Carl I am speaking about Allison, I mean do you think she really wants to relive that whole nightmare again do you? 

Carl: *sigh* No, that is true; it would be cruel to ask her to relive that horrible nightmare again… But still to leave things like this just feels so wrong.

Principal Dick: Perhaps, but in times like this all we really can do is to just try to move on. 

Carl: Yeah… *as he gets up* Well I think we wasted enough time here, I mean we both have jobs to do. Though Richard I understand that you told me about how things went beyond your control that day, but still even so there is still things you can do about her. I hope you realize that Richard, I really do.

(Carl is about to leave the Basement.)

Carl: Hmm? Are you heading back to your office Rich?

Principal Dick: Nah you go on ahead, Carl, I’ll just spend a bit more time here.

Carl: Alright understood, see you later Rich.

*As Carl leaves the room and walks about the Halls*

Carl (thinking): Well Richard I admit I do understand your point but like I said before there are still some things we can do about poor kids like Allison here. And I will still see what I can do about her.

(Meanwhile back at the Detention Room Andy is approaching Allison while Bender is nearby watching.)

Andy: Say… uh… Allison?

Allison: Yeah what is it Sporto?

Andy: I just want to say I’m really, really sorry that I have hurt you.

Allison: Really? You are being awfully forgiving towards someone who assaulted you just a short while ago.

Andy: Yeah well considering how I have inadvertently made you relive what's probably one of the most traumatic moments of your life I kind of deserved it. Besides even if I tried to press charges you would have a pretty good case against me anyways.

Allison: Yeah that is true…

Andy: But still I want to assure you I am NOT that kind of guy, I would never force myself on a woman at all. Honest! 

Allison: Well… Okay I suppose I will believe you.

Andy: Thank you… *as he tries to lighten the mood* However there is one question that I never got an answer from you on.

Allison: Oh?

Andy: Yeah, so what's your poison? What drink do you like the most?

Allison (with a cat-like smile): Vodka.

Andy (amused and surprised): Vodka?

Allison (Russian Accent): Da Tovarishch

Andy: You drink Vodka?

Allison (cat-like smile): Tons

(Then a rather amused and smiling Bender shook his head then made a little finger gesture that means she has only had a little at most anyways. Moments later Andy finds Claire sitting by herself with a very melancholic look on her face.) 

Andy: Hey there Claire

Claire: Hey…

Andy: So what's up?

Claire: Isn’t it obvious after everything we have been through today? I feel absolutely miserable and I am sure you know why.

Andy: Well yeah…

Claire: And you want to know the worst part about it? You know the feeling when people tell you how much of a horrible person you are? The only thing worse than that is when you keep hearing how horrible you are, you soon realize that they… are right. They are so fucking right.

Andy: Yeah…

Claire: Oh look at me, oh poor little rich girl and her “first world problems” as she wallows in self-pity. God I must be so repulsive now huh?

Andy: Calm down Claire, I never said you were repulsive, look Claire; yes you may come from a family that has more money than most people. But that doesn’t change the fact that you are still a human being who has feelings like the rest of us.

Claire: Yeah, thanks but still people keep talking about how prejudice is wrong but we keep showing our prejudice to other people despite how much we try to preach against it. Like for example, a lot of people think that anyone who is wealthy would always look down on “commoners” and “the little people” with nothing but contempt. I mean why should you demand respect from people you never wanted to respect in the first place? You understand what I mean?

Andy: I suppose, I mean there have been a lot of stories of corrupt businessmen and the like. But there are also stories of people who used their vast health to try to change our world for the better. Though you want to talk about prejudices and stereotypes? I got one for you; you know how a lot of people think that Jocks are all Brain-dead Neanderthals? 

Claire: Yeah…

Andy: Well apparently I never got that memo because my grades are actually pretty good.

Claire: Oh really? I guess that’s a little ironic considering a certain something you said earlier today.

Andy: Heh heh, okay I guess I deserved that. But still while some of the guys in my team aren’t doing so hot in grades most of us do alright. I actually have some of the better grades in my Wrestling Team. Sure I may not be a super-genius like Brian over there but I do pretty well in school.

Claire: I see… Interesting, but still to have people think you are a terrible person before they got to know you and… they turned out to be right. Do you know how horrible that feels?

Andy: Yeah… I do, I really do. I mean both Brian and Allison feared me when I showed up and all this time I thought I was going to save you all from Bender, he was the one protecting them. Claire, they were afraid of me, and it’s not just because I was some jock it was because I attacked someone recently. So yeah I know exactly what it’s like for people to hate you and it turns out that hatred is perfectly justifiable.

Claire: Yeah…

Andy: But here is the thing Claire, in this school guys like me are known as Sports Heroes and Hometown Heroes, I mean hell some of us have even appeared in the local news. But I am no hero; I’m no hero at all… But… I do wish I could be though; there are people who would look up to me. Well… I want to be an actual good guy you know?

(Now Claire comes up to Andy from behind and gives him a nice little hug.)

Claire: But Andy… you are a good guy.

Andy: Really?

Claire: Uh-huh.

Andy: Thanks Claire.

Claire (as she lets go): You’re welcome.

Andy: But still Claire there is something I must say about all the things you said to Brian earlier.

Claire: *sigh* I know, I feel so horrible about it now.

Andy: I understand that, but still Claire, you said all that none of us would fit in with our respective social cliques. But you see Claire that is not entirely true.

Claire: Really? 

Andy: Yeah, sure your friends may look down on people like Brian and they would really look down on people like Bender and Allison. But… what about me Claire, after all I am a pretty big man in campus. Do you think your friends would be against the idea of you hanging out with me? 

Claire: Oh of course not Andy why I… I… I see, what you mean there Andy. 

Andy: Yeah and let me assure you the guys in my team would be eager to see a little lady like you. Granted there is Brian, but I think we could think of something for him to get him to be able to “fit in” with the folks we know. Granted it might be a little bit more difficult to get folks like Bender and Allison to fit in with the more popular kids but to be fair they probably wouldn’t want to anyway.

Claire: True… *as she notices Brian* But speaking of Brian I think there is a certain someone I should be talking to right about now.

Andy: I see… Alright, go right ahead.

Claire: Thanks.

Andy: You’re welcome Claire.

(Now as Claire tries to approach Brian.)

Claire: Hey Brian…

Brian: Hey Claire.

Claire: Say Brian about… about before…

Brian: It’s okay Claire, you don’t need to apologize, I understand now that you weren’t trying to hurt my feelings… I was just overreacting.

Claire: No! No you weren’t! Oh I was being horrible to you! And it was all because I got scared over what would people think. Oh Brian, I do like you, really I do but it’s just… I got scared and well… what I am trying to say is… *as she now hugs Brian* I’m sorry, I am so sorry.

(Brian was a little surprised about that hug and is slightly red in the face here.)

Brian (flustered): Wow I… I… *as he tries to regain his composure* I see… but its okay Claire, I forgive you.

Claire: Thank you Brian, I really mean that.

Brian: Yeah…

(Andy was nearby eavesdropping Claire’s little conversation with Brian here and smiling.)

Claire: *sigh* You know, the more I know about you people. The more I think that my problems are so petty and insignificant in the big picture. Remember when earlier today I was talking about how my father would spoil me just to spite my mom ever since the divorce? I realize now that my dad is practically a saint compared to the parents most of you guys have. I mean why I am complaining about my life when you guys seem to have it a lot worse. I hope you understand what I mean.

Brian: Actually Claire, I… I kind of do… I mean sure I have talked about my issues with my mother but… my dad is actually a pretty nice guy. Remember when I told you guys about that F Grade I got from Shop Class? Well later on that night while I was at home at the hallway nearby my room, my dad tried to give me a little pep talk. He told me that yes it really is unfortunate that I did so poorly at Shop but he told me that I am a smart kid and that I can learn from my mistakes. Then he told me that he was confident that I could do much better next time.

Claire: That sounds nice.

Brian: Yeah… but my Mother overheard us and she ordered me to go to my room. But then I overheard her yelling at my father. She kept telling him that now is not the time to be going soft on the boy and I deserve nothing but contempt for my incompetence. But as I watched my mother yell at my father, I saw him just standing there taking it with that sad, ashamed look on his face.

Claire: Oh Brian…

Andy: My god…

(However Bender and Allison were also eavesdropping nearby.)

Bender (thinking): Seriously Brian? So your mom chews your dad out just because your dad tried to show you a little bit of compassion over a bad grade? Oh for fucks sake, why isn’t your dad trying to divorce his raging bitch of a wife just to get his kids away from her? But then again, considering how messy these custody battles can be there is no telling whether if that would just make things worse.

Brian: Say uh… Andy?

Andy: Yeah Brian?

Brian: There is something I have been meaning to ask you…

Andy: Really?

Brian: Yeah… I will have to admit that what Bender said earlier about me being scared of you at first was true. But then I have noticed how much of a decent guy you are, you have been trying to defend Claire from Bender and for the most part you were nice to me. In fact you even said that you would protect both Claire and I today so I have been thinking “This is the guy who attacked Larry”? I admit I wondered if you were just pretending to be nice just for your image. But then the more I got to know you, the more I realized that you are a genuinely decent guy. But it still got me wondering why would you do something like beat up one of my friends? I am starting to wonder if attacking someone like Larry is even in your nature. Am I right?

Andy: In my nature? I… I don’t know what to say about that, but hey I get it you want answers over why I attacked one of your friends. I understand… In fact I’ll tell you why right now. You see I’m not the only member of the Clark family who was ever in Shermer High’s Wrestling Team; my Dad was in the School Wrestling team back when he was in High School. But throughout my life my dad has always talked about all the things he did with his Wrestling Team friends back in High School, he would talk about all the trouble he and his friends caused in which he likes to call it “screwing around with the guys”. So I thought… maybe if I did something like that maybe Dad would notice me.

Brian: Wait a minute Andy; you attacked Larry because of your Dad, really?

Andy: Yeah really, boy I must be a real asshole to you huh?

Brian: Hey wait a minute Andy I didn’t mean it like that I…

Andy: No no its okay I understand, I must be really irresponsible to you huh? I mean sure Andy; blame your dad over your issues. I mean it’s not like you’re responsible over the fact that you assaulted someone. So yeah I tortured that poor kid and for what? Just so I can relate to my old man a little bit more. So while I was in the Locker Room I was taping up one of my knees, I noticed this skinny weak-looking kid nearby. This kid looked really weak, and I remember what my dad said about weakness. So I tried to attack that boy Larry, I was whaling on him, my friends nearby laughed and cheered me on too. So after I finished giving that kid Larry a beating I finished it off by tapping his buttocks together, but while I was in Vernon’s office I could only think of one thing. About how Larry’s father had to go pick Larry up from school and how Larry had to explain what happened to him and how fucking humiliated he must’ve been for all of this. 

Claire: Andy…

Andy: And this all for what? So I can relate to my old man more? Well at time I thought why not? I mean it’s not like I could anymore. I remember this one little pep talk he gave me… “Andrew! You've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family! Your intensity is for shit! Win! Win! Win!” That son of a bitch, over the years he has become such a mindless machine that I don’t know what to do with him anymore. 

(Brian is crying about Andy’s story as Claire is rather saddened by this as well while even Bender and Allison are showing their sympathy as well.)

Andy: And the part that really gets me about all of this is that things use to be great between my dad and I. Ever since I was a little kid we use to do all sorts of things together, like my dad would take me to a lot of the local sports game. We would normally watch a lot of games like Football on TV all the time. Heck we’ve even played a few Sports and Wrestling Video Games together when I was a kid. But over the years as I got older, he kept pressuring me to be so athletic especially once I got into Shermer High. My dad kept insisting that I had to be one of the most athletic students at school and that I had to be one of the best wrestlers in school. Oh sure he would congratulate me every time I won but he kept lecturing how I shouldn’t be a loser every time I lost. Gee Dad I am so sorry that I can’t be perfect, so yeah we may still talk about sports but it’s not so fun anymore. In fact there have been days that I wished my knee would give so I could be kicked out of the Wrestling Team. The funny thing is that I didn’t even want to join the Wrestling Team, but hey since my dad was in Shermer High’s Wrestling Team back in his day he figures so should I! *sigh* I originally wanted to join the Football Team… at least I was until today.

(Then Andy sat down on one of the Desk Chairs.)

Andy: So… yeah, that’s my story here. 

Bender: You know… I think your old man and mine should go bowling together.

Andy: Heh heh thanks… but still I know I should apologize about that attack. But how, how can I apologize for something like this? A lot of people in school think I attacked that poor guy just for fun but it was all due to my Daddy Issues. But still how can I apologize for something like this, especially since I doubt anyone would forgive me.

Brian: I will

(In which Andy, Bender, Allison and Claire are surprised to hear this.)

Andy: You… you will?

Brian: Uh-huh, I’ll talk to Larry, I’ll tell him about how you feel really bad about this and on how you are going to be a better man from now on. 

Andy: I see… thanks Brian but I am not sure if I can ask him if he can forgive me.

Brian: Oh don’t worry Andy, Larry is one of my friends and he is one of the nicest guys I know. I am sure I can convince him that you are really sorry and that you are not such a bad guy.

Andy: Yeah… and hey maybe if he is not willing to forgive me just yet perhaps you give him some tape so he can go ahead and tape my ass shut. I could probably go for some hair and skin loss.

Brian: Heh heh I don’t know if we need to go that far. But still I’ll talk to Larry and I will try to see if you both can move on from this whole incident, I think that would really be for the best.

Andy: Wow, my god… You know Brian you really are an amazing guy, I mean you have every full right to HATE me but you are trying to understand me, and then forgive me. As much as I would normally hate to feed on Bender’s ego but I will admit he is right about one thing that you are a bigger and better man than I am.

Brian: Wow… Thanks Andy.

Andy: Anytime pal, anytime.

Bender: Heh heh oh wow, could this possibly be anymore bromantic? I mean I think I have seen Shounen Anime that’s not as Bromantic as this.

Allison: Oh I don’t know about that but this scene is pretty up there on the Bromance scale.

Andy: And Bender ruins a perfectly nice scene due to a snide comment surprising nobody in the process. But hey I guess I won’t let Bender’s jealousy ruin it for me.

Bender: Oh really?

Andy: Yeah… *as he is starting to sound serious* But still on another note, all this talk we have been having about our families and households have made me wondering about one thing. Are we going to end up like our parents?

Claire: Not me… never.

Brian: *sigh* I admit the thought has crossed my mind sometimes…

Allison: It seems unavoidable huh?

Brian: What does?

Allison: That when you grow up, your heart dies. For years, that was something I truly believed in. That is… *as she starts to smile* until recently…

Brian: Oh really?

Allison: Uh-huh, hey Bender, remember our first Christmas together last year?

Bender: Ah yeah…

[We now begin our flashback scene as Bender and Allison are in her room at the Reynolds’ residence. While Bender seems to be relaxed, Allison is looking rather regretful and melancholic.]

Allison: *sigh* I’m really sorry Bender; I shouldn’t have tried to make that surprise visit to your place like that. I really didn’t want to get you into trouble but I just thought I pay you a visit for once.

Bender: It’s okay Allie May, calm down, you didn’t get me into trouble, besides my old man was already giving me shit before you got there. And I understand you were trying to make a nice gesture by visiting me and I appreciate that. Unfortunately my place is not exactly… safe, so your heart was in the right place but it’s for the best that we stick with me visiting you alright?

Allison: Okay

Bender: Good, besides I managed to get the both of us out of there before he tried anything on you. So this whole incident was kind of my fault since I was running a little late today in trying to see you. Anyways enough about my old man, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.

Allison: Right.

Bender: So Allison, how do your Christmases normally go?

Allison: Not much, my family normally doesn’t do much during the Holidays but that is more because aside from this year we normally don’t have the money to do much of anything. When it comes to Christmas we usually use those cheap small artificial trees and as for presents I normally get cheap clothes and something halfway decent from the Department Stores Bargain Bins.

Bender: I see I do know what you mean though, my family has rarely if ever bothered with a Christmas tree, as for presents I usually got what my father can scrounge up. This year he got me some cigarettes, but hey I’m not bitter. What's a little Lung Cancer between Father and Son right? I mean hey considering all the smoking and drinking he does I am still taking bets on what's going to kill him first, Lung Cancer or Liver Poisoning.

[Then Bender noticed that Allison was a little saddened by that.]

Bender: Oh sorry you had to hear that, anyways what else would you normally do around this time of the year?

Allison: Well I suppose there is at least one “Christmas Tradition” that I actually do, its watch all those Christmas Specials. Especially those really classic ones from the 60s like A Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, especially the latter. In fact there has been a certain song that I normally like to sing to myself ever since I was a little kid…. *ahem*

Why am I such a misfit?  
I am not just a nitwit.  
Just because my nose glows,  
Why don’t I fit in?

Bender: I see… However I just thought I give a friendly little reminder on how that’s only a portion of how that song went. *ahem*

We’re a couple of misfits….

[Then Allison started to smile a bit knowing where this is going and decided to play along.]

Bender & Allison:  
We’re a couple of misfits  
What’s the matter with misfits?  
That’s where we fit in.

We’re not Daffy and Dilly  
Don’t go around Willy Nilly.  
Seems to us kind of Silly  
That we don’t fit in.

We may be  
Different from the Rest  
Who decides the test?  
Oh what is really best?

We’re a couple of misfits  
We’re a couple of misfits  
What’s the matter with misfits?  
That’s where we fit in.

Allison: *giggle* Oh wow that was so awesome.

Bender: I know it really was…

[But now they look outside the window in Allison’s room as they noticed that it’s snowing outside. This time, Bender was the one looking a little melancholic as he gazes outside the window.]

Bender: This reminds me… I… have a certain other song in my mind right about now. I admit it’s not really “Christmassy” at all but I do remember a certain movie I saw with my Grandpa a few years ago back when he was alive. A certain little movie that he has known and adored for years and well I can understand why…

Allison: Oh… I think I know where this is going…

Bender: I’m sure you do since we watched it together; I think it was like last week right?

Allison: Yeah

Bender: Right well then… *ahem*

Through early morning fog I see  
Visions of the things to be  
The pains that are withheld for me  
I realize that I can see  
That suicide is painless  
It brings on many changes  
And I can take or leave it if I please  
Bender & Allison:  
The game of life is hard to play  
I'm gonna lose it anyway  
The losing card I’ll someday lay  
So this is all I have to say

Bender: Suicide is Painless

Allison (with a slightly tearful smile): Suicide!

Bender & Allison (as they dance along):  
It brings on many changes… changes…  
And I can take or leave it if I please

Bender:  
The sword of time will pierce our skin  
It doesn’t hurt when it begins  
But as it works its way on in  
The pain grows stronger watch it grin.

Bender & Allison:  
Suicide is Painless  
It brings on many changes  
And I can take or leave it if I please.

Bender:  
A brave man once requested me  
To answer questions that are key  
Is it to be or not to be  
And I replied…

Bender & Allison:  
Oh why ask me?

Suicide is Painless  
It brings on many changes  
And I can take or leave it if I please.

[Bender and Allison got close to each other.]

And you can do the same thing… if you please.

[Then Bender and Allison were watching the snowing outside together in which now as the flashback ends we see Bender and Allison having warm smiles on their faces.]

Allison: That was the best Christmas I ever had.

Bender: Yeah, me too Allie May, me too.

[However Andy, Brian and Claire were not smiling as they found this little tale to be rather depressing and somewhat disturbing. However moments later Claire did have a little smile on her face as she had an idea.]

Claire: Say Allison?

Allison: Yeah Claire?

Claire: There is something I am a little curious about; we all know the reasons why we are here in Detention, except for you.

Allison: Oh really?

Claire: Yeah Allison, why are you here? What are you in here for?

Allison: You want to know?

Claire: Uh-huh

Allison (with a cat-like smile): Nothing

(Now Andy & Brian had a good laugh, Claire tried to resist at first but she joined in on the laughter as well in which Bender smirked at this.)

Andy: Heh heh, really?

Allison Yeah, I had nothing better to do.

(In which Andy and Brian were laughing even more but now Claire is the one who’s smirking.)

Claire (thinking): Oh I am sure you had a certain something or shall I say someone in mind there 

(Now moments later Brian places in a record in a nearby phonograph and is playing a song from Karla Devito called “We Are Not Alone”. In which he along with the other 4 are now dancing to this song. While their dance movements for the most part more seemed like random body movements at first but quickly became more like actual dance moves especially from Claire and to a lesser extent Allison)

Things look clear in black and white  
The living color tends to dye our sight  
Like dynamite, just imagine my surprise  
When I looked into your eyes and saw your disguise

(While Bender noticed Andy, Brian & Claire’s silly dancing moves he shook his head with a cocky smile and then he turned to Allison with a “May I have this dance” gesture in which Allison curtsied in response as they danced away. Meanwhile Andy quickly noticed this and with a cocky smirk made a similar gesture to Claire and she happily accepted that.)

If we dare expose our hearts  
Just to feel the purest parts  
That's when strange sensations start to grow

(Though when Claire was done with Andy she turned her attention to Brian and is now dancing with him. Brian was a little surprised and flustered about this in which he was even more so when she got closer to him in which Brian tried hard to… maintain his composure let’s just say.)

We are not alone, find out when your cover's blown  
There'll be somebody there to break your fall  
We are not alone 'cause when you cut down to the bone  
We're really not so different after all, after all, we're not alone

(And now our little group is doing even more dance moves as the kids keep switching dance partners. Such as how Allison danced with Claire then Ally went back to dancing with Bender, and the boys forming a little dance train. In which all of this dancing ended when Allison shook her head like a headbanger and struck a pose like she just finished a guitar solo in which Bender placed his jacket on top of her, moments later after when they were done with their dance Claire was approaching Allison.)

Claire: Hey Allison?

Allison: Yeah?

Claire: Mind coming over to that corner over there with me, got something to show you.

Allison (with a little smirk): Oh really? Is it legal in this state?

Claire (slightly amused): Oh trust me it is, so what do you say?

Allison: Alright, I suppose you’ve slightly piqued my curiosity let’s go.

Brian: Oh hey there you two, what’s going on?

Allison: Hi there Milk and Cookies.

Claire: Oh hey there Brian, it’s not much but I am taking Allison over there as I have a little something to show here. So if anyone needs us we’ll be right over there okay?

Bender: Okay, I guess…

(Meanwhile at the other side of the Detention Room Andy was approaching Bender.)

Bender: Hey there Sporto

Andy: Hey Bender, say can I talk with you for a minute or few?

Bender: I suppose, what’s up?

Andy: It’s about you and Allison, I am a little concerned about you two.

Bender: Oh really?

Andy: Yeah I am, what are you two going to do after High School? You know very well about how much trouble you get while you’re in school but what about when you and Allison are out and about in the real world after you get out of High School. After all Bender in case if you haven’t already noticed you are practically a hero to her. Look, all I am saying is that you might want to consider to clean up your act a little in the future, know what I mean?

Bender: Oh I am the one who needs to clean up my act huh?

Andy: Okay fair enough, I should’ve seen that coming. But hey trust me I have every full intention on cleaning up my act as soon as we get back to school come Monday, but what about you? 

Bender: I… I dunno…

Andy: Well you think about what I am saying here Bender, this advice is not just for your sake but for hers as well.

Bender: Yeah… that’s true…

(Meanwhile at the other side of the room where it appears that Claire is applying makeup to Allison’s face.)

Allison: Say what is this stuff that you are putting on me?

Claire: Oh it’s just a little bit of blush, but I am also trying to clean up your face first, namely to get all that black shit out of your eyes.

Allison: Hey I for one like that black shit thank you very much, anyways what are you doing?

Claire: Oh… you’ll see when I am done with you. I wanted to try a little something out on you; it’ll look nice when I am done.

Allison: Okay then if you say so… Say Claire, I’m a little curious, who do you like more, Sporto or Milk & Cookies?

Claire (as she is now brushing Allison’s hair): I take it you mean Andy and Brian of course; anyways I couldn’t help but notice that you left Bender out of that question.

Allison (slightly annoyed): Is that a problem?

Claire: No no, trust me I assure you it’s not a problem at all. Anyways about Andy and Brian… Well I don’t know I mean they are both good guys but unlike you and Bender the three of us have pretty much just met today. So maybe I am being a little old fashioned but I thought it would be for the best that I just well you know try to get to know them better a bit more after today. Know what I am saying? 

Allison: I suppose so… Say Claire ever had any Romantic Fantasies?

Claire (slightly flustered): Ro…Romantic? I can’t say I have… *as she regains her composure* But I take it that you do right?

Allison: Occasionally

Claire (with a playful smile): I’m sure this involves a certain someone namely Bender right? 

Allison: Perhaps, but there is one that comes to mind…

(We are now looking into Allison’s mind and we see the School, but it looks like a war-torn wasteland. In which some rock music namely the song “Nothing’s Gonna Stand in our Way” from Spectre General/Kick Axe is blaring in the background. In which we see hideous fish-man monsters scurrying about in the halls and rummaging through the lockers until we hear a familiar voice shouting…)

Bender: Allison! Carl! Brian! Anybody?!

(In which now the Fish monsters have their attention set on Bender, in which he grabs a sawblade from his locker and proceeds to fight off the fish monsters. In which Bender manages to either give the Fish monsters big gaping cuts on their jaws or just slice half their heads off. However after when he was done fighting off the fish monsters, Bender is now hearing a familiar voice.)

Allison: Bender! Help me!

Bender: Allison?

(Bender is running over to the other side of the hall until he sees…)

Bender: ALLISON!

(In which now Bender sees Allison being captured by a Giant Mutant Octopus in which Allison was getting squeezed by a couple of its tentacles. Now Bender finds a nearby blow torch and uses it to attack the Octopus in which that attack did get the Octopus to let go of Allison. While Bender continued to blast the Octopus with flames one of its tentacles did manage to grab Bender in which he whipped out his knife and hacked away at said Tentacle freeing himself from its grasp. In which now Bender continues using the Blow Torch but this time right on the Octopus’ right eye in which it was screaming in pain and retreated with the cover of black ink smoke. In which Bender sees an injured Allison on the floor.)

Bender: Allison, talk to me.

Allison (very strained, with a little bit of blood in her mouth): Help me…

Bender: Sure Allie May, right away.

(In which Bender checked his surroundings then he grabs Allison and gets out of there in which moments later they are both at the School’s basement in which Bender puts Allison down on one of the tables in which now the song and segment ends. In which now that we are back in the Detention Room, Allison is smiling while Claire is being creeped out by Allison, again.) 

Claire (deadpan): My, what an enchanted world you live in.

Allison: I know right?

Claire: Yeah…

Allison: Oh let me guess it was a little too “Damsel in Distress” for you? Hmm… Perhaps it was but to be fair I did have the idea of Bender and I working together to fight the Demon Squid that is the ringleader of the Sea Mutant Monsters afterwards.

Claire: I see… 

Allison: Yeah but I also had some other ideas like being an Intergalatic Space Princess and give a certain someone a little “Secret Juraian Royal Bridegroom Training”.

Claire: O… kay I am a little afraid to ask but what does that mean?

Allison: Oh not much, it’s just a few things, ropes, a whip, some other tools y’know things like that. Of course I suppose I should admit that this is a different kind of fantasy here.

Claire: I see… Anyways, okay now perhaps it’s time that we stop talking about the boys for now. Okay then so Allison, would do you plan on doing after when you are done with school here?

Allison: I think I will probably be an Art Student when I get out of High School.

Claire: Heh that’s no surprise, considering all the things you can do its only natural that you would be heading to Art School.

Allison: Oh what’s this? Is little miss Richie Rich jealous of little ol’ me?

Claire: Well excuse me then Miss “I can sing, I can dance, I can draw fancy portraits”, you can be surprised how often Money gets you little to no respect in this world.

Allison: I see… though I suppose it depends on how well you use that money.

Claire: Perhaps but still… *under her breath* Besides there have been times where I thought that they all liked you more than me anyways.

Allison: Hmm? What was that you just said?

Claire (eyes rolled, slight blush): Oh c’mon you knew what I said…

Allison: Okay I did, but still... I’m pretty sure it’s not as bad as you think.

Claire: Really?

Allison: Sure…

Claire: Thanks… you know Allison it’s… kind of been a while ever since I had a good chat with someone like this, know what I mean?

Allison: Actually… yeah, I do, but still… Claire?

Claire: Yeah?

Allison: There is something I have been wondering about… this makeup job you’ve been doing and this chat we have been having. Why are you doing this with me?

Claire: You want to know why? *with a nice warm smile* Because your letting me. 

(Then moments later nearby in the Detention Room as the boys are sitting nearby though Bender is looking around the room looking a little concerned here.)

Brian: Uh… Bender, is something wrong?

Bender: Say uh… Bri, have you seen the girls around here anywhere lately?

Brian: Actually yeah I did, just a little while ago; Claire told me that she was taking Allison to that corner over there to do a little something.

Bender: Really? That’s strange; I wonder what they could be doing…

Andy: Good question.

Claire (os): Oh I think I can answer that.

Andy, Bender, Brian: Hmm?

Claire: Hello there boys, I thought I show you all my latest “Piece de Resistance” namely my makeover on… Allison!

(In which we now see Allison in a pretty light pink outfit with a flowery headband with a more stylish hairstyle. Andy and Brian were all smiles as they see Allison in her new outfit.) 

Andy: Oh wow!

Brian: You… you look great Allison.

Allison: Re… really? You guys like this?

Andy: Ah yeah this outfit looks really nice on you, isn’t that right Brian?

Brian: Uh-huh it sure is, I also like that new hairstyle of yours as well Allison.

Claire: Say Allison, I got a mirror around here somewhere, want to get a good look at your new look here?

Allison: Okay…

(As soon as Allison looks at herself in the mirror she is a little surprised at what she saw and feels slightly uncomfortable about this. But while Andy and Brian liked Allison’s new look Bender on the other hand was less than impressed in which he was rather annoyed by this until…)

Bender: What the… WHAT THE HELL?!

(In which Allison, Andy, Brian and Claire were rather shocked by Bender’s reaction here.)

Claire: Y…you don’t like it?

Bender: What the hell were you thinking Claire?! Why the hell would you talk Allison into wearing something like this?

Andy: Hey! What the hell is wrong with you?! What’s wrong with Claire giving Allison a little makeover here? Why I for one think she looks a lot cuter now.

Bender: Oh like she didn’t look cute enough before? So you jocks only pay attention to girls when they get all dolled up like that huh?

Andy: Hey that’s not what I meant at all! So stop twisting my words around asshole!

Bender: Even so, what were you thinking Claire? What did you want to make Allison here look like one of your prissy rich friends?

Claire: Oh will you get off my case here! You know Bender where I am from my friends and I normally like to give each-other makeovers every now & then. So excuse me for wanting to share some style tips with her! *sigh* For fucks sake, even when I try to do something nice I still get shit from you, typical.

Andy (as he grabs Bender by the shirt): I hope you’re happy about this you fucking prick.

(Both Brian and Allison were nervous about this.)

Brian: Guys! What are you doing?! This was supposed to be a nice scene here!

Claire: You’re right Brian this was supposed to be a nice scene here.

Andy: Yeah this was supposed to be a nice scene here, until a certain someone here decided to ruin it!

Brian: Calm down you two, I understand why you two are pissed off right now but you two still have some tension issues with him. Let me talk to him okay?

Claire: Hmm…

Andy: *sigh* Okay…

Brian: Okay then, alright Bender, what’s going on here? Why do you have such a problem with Claire’s little makeover for Allison here?

Bender: *sigh* Look Bri, all I am saying is that this makeover here was really unnecessary. I mean she looked fine just the way she was.

Brian: I see, so you think she looked just fine before, I can understand that really I do. But don’t you see Bender, Claire didn’t mean any harm she was only trying to do a little gesture by giving Allison a new look. But even if you change Allison’s clothes and neaten up her hair she is still the same person. Trust me Bender; she is still the same person inside.

Bender: I see… it’s just that well… when I saw Allison getting nervous like she did; I couldn’t help but lose my temper like that…

Claire: Nervous? Allison… were… were you bothered by your new look?

Allison (nervous): I… I…

(Now Allison noticed how Claire looked surprised and a little hurt in which Allison felt a little bit of guilt until…)

Allison: I’m sorry, I got a little overwhelmed at first, its… it’s been a while since the last time I ever wore anything like this. But I’m okay Bender, trust me I’m fine.

Bender: You sure about this Allie May?

Allison: I’m sure, besides, this isn’t so bad… Sure it looks a little strange on me but still… Anyways, Claire you said that you normally only give your friends makeovers right?

Claire: Yeah I… I… I guess did, didn’t I?

Allison: I see… Thanks…

Bender: Yeah… Alright Red, I… I’m sorry I overreacted there, I’m sorry Claire.

Claire: Wow you… you apologized for something… alright I’ll accept.

Bender: Thank you though that being said I still do kind of question your style on Allie May here. *now in a flamboyant voice* I understand that you wanted to give her something that’s not all Black but Pink is so totally not her color Hun. I would more picture her as a nice cool Blue, or perhaps something a bit more Rouge, know what I mean?

Allison: Hmm… I suppose I can see myself in something nice and blue.

Claire: Okay then, I think I can see what you mean there, but hey it was the only other outfit I had at the time. But I guess that’s all the more reason why I should bring more clothes with me.

Bender: Yeah but still while this new look is alright, (as he smiles at Allison) I guess I was just too partial to her original look.

(As Allison and Bender looked at each other with nice warm smiles, Andy had a little smirk.)

Andy: You know you two really do make a nice couple.

(Now both Allison and Bender were shocked and very much red in the face about what Andy just said.)

Allison: Co… Couple?!

Claire: Oh you are so right Andy they totally do, aw look they are blushing.

Bender: Couple is such a… such a strong word.

Allison: Yeah a… a strong word…

Claire: Right… Oh c’mon Allie you practically act like Bender’s doting little house wife.

Allison: I… I don’t “dote” on him.

Claire: Oh c’mon now Allie May, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Andy: Okay, okay Claire, I think they had enough. However Bender, while I admit that perhaps I was being a bit friendly with Allison earlier. But not too worry my somewhat good man; I’ve always made it a personal rule to never hit on another man’s lady.

Claire: Okay Andy I suppose that’s true, but still Allison I had no idea you can be such a romantic.

Allison: Well I dunno if I would say that but I do though ever see St. Elmo’s Fire and Blue City? They were both very good but I particularly liked the latter a bit more.

Andy: Don’t think I recall Blue City but I have seen St. Elmo’s Fire though and it was pretty good, granted it got a bit depressing though but still…

Allison: Uh-huh, St. Elmo’s Fire was a bit disappointing in the end but it was still good.

Bender: True Allie May, but Alec was a douche though as he did treat Leslie like crap.

Allison: Yeah that is true.

Claire: I see, but still Bender you should’ve seen her earlier while I was giving her makeup, she kept talking about you. She was talking about things like you two going on an adventure fighting monsters.

Bender: Oh really? What kind of monsters?

Allison: Mutant Sea Monsters, one of the first scenes I was thinking of is you fighting and slaughtering a bunch of Piranha-men with the song “Nothing’s Gonna Stand in our Way” blaring in the background.

Bender: Ah I see… Post-Apocalyptic Nightmare with a touch of Transformers, very nice Allie May, very nice.

Andy (thinking): Bender fighting Mutant Sea Monsters? Oh please, he’ll be the one getting slaughtered.

Claire: Oh yes and get this, believe it or not Ol’ Allie May here would like to be an Intergalactic Space Princess as well. 

(Both Andy and Brian were a little surprised by this.)

Andy: Space Princess? Heh heh… Allison, a Space Princess?

Claire: I know right? But she said she wanted to give a certain someone a little “Secret Royal Juraian Training”… whatever that means.

Bender: Secret Royal Juraian… *as he now has a gleefully wicked smile* Ah I see what you mean now heh heh fascinating, slightly disturbing yet fascinating… but of course you do that so well Allie May.

Allison: Oh but I am sure that I am not as disturbing as you are Bender.

Bender: Perhaps but still you’re not too far off, but still I would’ve pictured you as more of a “Space Pirate” than Intergalactic Royalty.

Allison: Normally I would too but given certain circumstances, I can be willing to try different things.

Claire (whispering): Eh Andy, what are they talking about?

Andy (whispering): No clue, I’d probably have to look it up on Google or Wikipedia later. Besides knowing these two it’s probably for the best not to think about it.

Claire (whispering): True…

Andy: Okay this story is amusing and all that but Bender fighting a bunch of Mutant Sea Monsters? Oh please, he would’ve been Piranha chow in seconds if that happened. 

Bender: Oh really? Don’t be so certain there Sporto, you could be surprised of what I can do. But I suppose it’s just a slight bit of envy, after all when it comes to Superheroes, I am the Wolverine to your Cyclops. 

Andy: Eh heh heh, really, first of all Bender, you, Wolverine? AHAHAHAHAHA… At best you’re a Hawkeye and even then that’s a BIG stretch… Though on the other hand the idea of being Cyclops now that could be cool. I mean think about it the lean, fit athletic man who is a brilliant tactician, great aim with his optic blasts and is also a skilled martial artist. After all Cyclops is the original field leader of the X-men which is still one of the most renowned Comic Book Superhero teams of all time. So yeah I would be honored to be more like Cyclops from the X-Men.

Claire: Hmm… Ah yes I can see you being a good Superhero there Andy, what do you think Brian?

Brian: Yeah I suppose I can understand what you mean there Claire.

Andy: Ah yes not to mention that Cyclops is known for having two incredibly busty and shapely young women as his love interests, one of them being known for her Victoria’s Secret Fashion sense is a nice bonus as well. 

Bender: Ah I hear that.

Claire (slightly annoyed): Okay that’s enough of that.

Andy (slightly sheepish): Oh uh… eh yes of course.

Bender: Say wait a minute Sporto I just realized something.

Andy: Oh really? What’s that?

Bender: Yo Allie May, remember when we were talking about our old pal Garth earlier? Well Garth’s last name is Clark and ol’ Sporto’s last name is Clark so…

Andy: *sigh* Alright Bender I know who you are talking about and yes I do know him, Garth is… Garth is my cousin.

Bender: Oh really? Well small world…

Allison: This is an interesting surprise, though Garth never really talked about his athletic cousin here, though I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.

Andy: Yeah well quite frankly my whole family prefers not to talk about that brain-damaged shit-head. I mean seriously he is a sleazy nutjob druggie, though I suppose in retrospection I’m not surprised that he is friends with you Bender.

Allison: Oh shame on you Sporto, Garth is one of the nicest and sweetest guys I know. Garth has always been friendly with us.

Bender: Yeah Garth is a cool guy, who always know how to start up a good conversation. There have been plenty of times where I have seen Allie May here have a good chat with Garth.

Andy: Really Bender? You let Allison alone with Garth?

Allison: Yes he did Sporto, plenty of times in fact, Garth has always been a gentleman with me that I can assure you.

Andy: Oh really, Heh, well that would be a first for him… 

Allison: Oh its more likely than you think, we’ve talked about all sorts of things like current events, what’s new in the Entertainment Industry, we even shared recipes together. 

Andy: Recipes?! Heh heh heh… *brief pause then annoyed* Let me guess you got that Brownie recipe from him, didn’t you?

Allison: Uh-huh he told me that I am one of his best students.

Andy: I see… well that explains a few things…

Allison: Yes well anyways Sporto, Garth is a cool guy and I for one believe that you don’t know him as well as you think.

Bender: Well said Allie May, well said. Though I suppose now it’s time that I show you all a little something else to help get our minds off this little debate here, in fact *ahem* (in a British Accent) and now for something completely different.

(Bender is rummaging through Allison’s bag.)

Bender: Ah-ha! There they are… *ahem* Yo Bri, mind coming over for a sec?

Brian: Eh okay Bender, sure.

(Brian walked over to Bender and is now standing right next to him.)

Brian: Okay whats up?

(Bender then immediately got in front of Brian and seems to be putting something on him.)

Brian: Huh, what the… What are you doing?

Bender: You’ll see…

(Bender is now done as Brian is now wearing a Penguin Cap.)

Bender: Ta-dah!

Claire: Is that a… penguin cap?

Andy: Yeah it sure looks like it.

(In which we see Allison smiling looking at Brian in that Penguin Cap. But now we see Bender wearing a long black hair wig and getting ready to sing.)

Bender:  
Gunter, why did you gunt my fries?  
I gunted them and they were mine.

(Now Bender is now holding Brian in which poor Brian has no idea what he is suppose to do here as his mouth gapes in shock.)

Bender:  
What kind of gunt gunts his Gunter’s Fries?  
And doesn’t even gunt them in the eyes?  
Gunter there were tears there.  
If you gunted them would you even care?  
Gunter do you even love me?

Brian: Wha?

Bender: It’s Rhetorical, Gunter.

(Claire and Andy were also pretty disturbed by this as well as their mouths were gaping in shock.)

Claire: Andy, what did we just watch?

Andy: I… I don’t know Claire, I just don’t know.

(However they did notice how Allison was smiling and excitedly waving her arms though.)

Bender (as he is bowing to his audience): Thank you, thank you, you’re too kind, though perhaps that was a bit of an acquired taste.

(Bender takes the wig off.)

Bender: Perhaps now is the time for something a little more conventional. *ahem*

(Bender is now approaching Allison.)

Bender: Follow my lead.

(In which Bender and Allison did a few poses together for a few moments until Allison playfully pushed him aside.)

Bender:  
Good little girl, always picking a fight with, you know that I’m bad.  
But you’re spending the night with me. What do you want from my world?  
You’re a good little girl…

Allison:  
Bad little boy, that’s what your acting like.  
I really don’t buy that you’re that kind of guy.  
And if you are, why do you want to hang out with me?

Bender:  
Don’t you know I’m a villain? Every night I am out killing.  
Sending everyone running like children? I know why you’re mad at me.  
I got Demon eyes… and they’re looking right through your anatomy.  
Into your deepest fears, Baby I’m not from here, I’m from the Nightosphere.  
To me you’re clear, transparent. You’ve got a thing for me, girl. That’s apparent.

(In which now Bender and Allison are bowing to their audience in which Brian is applauding their performance, in which Andy and Claire did join in the applause as well granted not as much as Brian but still.)

Bender: Thank you, thank you, your all too kind, say good night Gracie.

Allison: Good night. 

(Claire then had a quick glance at the desk she was originally sitting at and then noticed a paper in which she suddenly remembered something.)

Claire: Ah crap I just realized something, what about that paper we were suppose to write?

Andy: Paper?

Claire: Yeah when we first got there the Principal wanted us to write that paper about “who do we think we are” remember?

Brian: Ah yeah I remember that now, ah geez your right Claire and Detention is almost over with.

Bender: Oh relax you two; it’s a bullshit assignment that he ordered us to do just to keep us busy. I mean “who do we think we are”, how the hell are we suppose to answer the question? Or shall I ask how the hell do we answer that question in a way he’d accept?

Andy: That maybe so Bender, but I doubt that the Principal would want us to hand in blank papers.

Claire: Say Brian, could you please help me out by doing my essay?

Brian: Do your essay? But Claire, I need to work on my essay too.

Claire: I know, but… you’re a smart guy Brian, I am sure you can handle it.

Allison: Okay Claire, seriously? What are you doing? This isn’t a Trigonometry Test, this is an essay about “who do you think you are?”. How is he supposed to be able to do something like that for you? What do you think he knows you more than you know yourself?

Claire: Hey! I normally never been good in writing essays in general, okay? I never understood the point of them making us do things like that alright?

Andy: Okay settle down you two, but still Claire you don’t need to be like that. If you need help writing essays then all you had to do was ask. I’m sure Brian and I would be happy to help, right Brian?

Brian: Yeah of course.

Andy: See? Besides its like I said to you a little while ago Claire, I may not be a Super-Genius like Brian here but I actually do pretty well in school.

Brian: Really? Which subjects are you really good at Andy? Mine are Science, Math and Physics.

Andy: My best subjects are History, Geography and Health class; well okay also P.E as well.

Brian: I do pretty good in History and Geography and I am okay at Health, though I also do pretty well in Home Ec., especially the cooking classes.

Andy: Oh you like the Cooking Classes too?

Bender (whispering): Ah how sweet a Jock and a Dork nerding out together, never thought I see the day that I would see something like this.

Allison (whispering): Well what can I say? Never underestimate the power of Bromance.

Bender (whispering): True that Soul Sistah, true that.

(In which Allison and Bender gave each-other a fist bump for that.)

Claire: *brief giggle* Oh it’s so sweet to see you two get along so well, well as for me I am normally… okay at school. But I do like Home Economics though, it’s one of the few classes that I actually do like and do pretty well in. So yeah this idea of us working together does sound like a good idea.

Brian: Great! Though since we are turning this into a group project, I just got this idea about what we can do it. I am thinking of trying to give it a creative little signature and say “Signed: The Breakfast Club”.

(In which all 4 of the other students were a little confused at first but then in a matter of moments started to laugh.)

Andy: Eh heh heh heh… the Breakfast Club?

Bender: Ooh! Ooh! Can I be Tony the Tiger? I call Tony the Tiger! “THEY’RE GR-R-REAT!”

Andy (as they are trying to stop laugh): Okay, okay heh heh sorry about the laughing there Brian but still the Breakfast Club? What is that suppose to mean?

Brian: Well alright then I’ll tell you, it’s a reference to the name of a classic Radio show that was a Variety show hosted by the late Don McNeill from 1933 to 1968 here in Illinois.

Andy: Ah cool I did not know that.

Brian: Oh yes and I also recall how I have heard stories from some of my friends about how sometimes students and staff members would like to call the Morning Detention Block “The Breakfast Club”.

Claire: Ah yeah now that you mention I think I recall one of my friends telling me that story as well.

Andy: Okay then Brian, I guess we now see where you are coming from here so sure we can use that signature. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here how about we do that essay first alright?

Brian: Alright then, let’s go… Hmm? 

(In which Brian is now looking around the Detention Room a little confused as both Andy and Claire are a little confused as they wonder what is Brian doing.)

Claire: Is something wrong Brian?

Andy: Yeah, what’s the matter Brian?

Brian: I just noticed that Bender and Allison seem to be missing; I wonder where did those two disappear to?

Andy (with a playful smile): Hmm… so those two are missing huh? Oh don’t worry Brian I think I know what’s going on here and I for one believe we should let them be, if you know I mean. 

Claire (also with a playful smile): Indeed I do Andy, I so agree with you there.

Brian: Huh? What are you guys… oh… *slight blush* oh I see, okay then, yeah I suppose it’s for the best that we let them be. *now as he regains his composure* Okay then you two, Detention is almost over with so let’s see what we can come up with alright?

Andy & Claire: Alright.

Brian: Good.

(Moments later as Bender and Allison are now outside the building walking and nearby the Football Field.)

Allison: Bender?

Bender: Yeah Allie May? What’s up?

Allison: You… you remember what ol’ Sporto said about us a little while ago? You know how we would… *starting to blush* make a nice couple.

Bender: Yeah… I remember, but you don’t need to worry about it so much Allie May.

Allison (increasingly nervous): Right, there is no reason for me to take that so seriously. I mean I know we have been really close ever since we started to become friends and all… But still we should be careful about these things after all you know what they say about how High School Romances never last but still I just couldn’t help but wonder and…

(Then Bender gave Allison a nice hug to calm her down.)

Bender: Look Allison, whatever happens, happens. If you want things between us to go a little further than I will take things further but if not then we will just let things as they are, okay? 

(Bender gives Allison a little peck on the forehead.)

Allison (as she gives him a big hug): Okay…

Bender (as Allison is letting go): Alright Allie May, let’s keep going.

Allison: Okay then.

(But as Bender is walking a little bit further ahead than Allison.)

Allison (thinking):  
Everybody shoved him.  
But I very nearly loved him.  
I said “Hey listen to me!”  
Stay sane inside his insanity.  
But my old life is gone and I threw away the key.

(Meanwhile back inside the school, Andy, Brian and Claire are walking the halls about to leave the school for the day when they ran in to see Carl the Janitor.)

Brian: Oh hey there Mr. Reed.

Carl: Hey there Brian, you are looking surprisingly chipper.

Brian: Yeah today turned out a lot better than I thought it would. Wouldn’t you two agree?

Andy: You know what? Yeah, today really did turn out pretty well. 

Claire: Uh-huh, it sure did.

Carl: That’s nice but I couldn’t help but notice that it’s just the three of you here.

Andy: Yeah well Bender and Allison decided to vacate the premises a little early by themselves. I’m sure you know where this is going huh?

Carl: Oh really?

Claire: Yeah, those two are so into each other huh?

Carl: Well the thought has certainly crossed my mind a few times, but I am sure those two will tell me more about it later the next time they head over to Detention.

Brian: Say Mr. Reed do things like these normally happen in Detention here at School?

Carl: No these Detentions are usually not as “eventful” as this one has been, but to be fair those two always did have a bit of a habit of spicing things up here just about every Saturday. Anyways its getting later so see you later you three.

Brian: Alright, see you later Mr. Reed.

(Our trio are now at the School Entrance as their parents are about to pick them up.)

Claire: You know guys despite all the problems we had today, this has been a really good day. Of course I wouldn’t have gone through this day so well if it wasn’t for you, *gives a playful little wink* see you later.

(In which Claire gets into her family’s car, Andy and Brian were a little bit surprised at Claire’s little wink there.)

Andy: Interesting…

Brian: Yeah…

Andy (now with a smug grin): Of course, we both know who she was winking at.

Brian (also with a smug grin): Yep, indeed we do.

Andy & Brian: Me

(Then Andy and Brian were a little surprised over what they just said then they looked at each-other for a moment then they smiled and gave each-other a fist bump and went on their way. Meanwhile back inside the Detention Room, the Principal was initially surprised to find only one paper there as it says.)

Brian (os): Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

Andy (os): ...and an athlete...

Allison (os): ...and a basket case...

Claire (os): ...a princess...

John (os): ...and a criminal...

Brian (os): Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

(In which Principal Richard Vernon had a little smirk on his face as he took the paper and placed it one of his suit’s pockets and then left the room. Meanwhile later on that day outside at the Football Field as Bender and Allison are sitting nearby one of the goal posts in which Bender hears Allison humming a certain song.)

Bender: Hmm… I see you have a certain something in mind there Allie May?

Allison: Yeah I suppose I do Bender. I suppose I do…

Happiness is just a word to me  
And it might have meant a thing or two  
If I'd known the difference 

Emptiness, a lonely parody  
And my life, another smokin' gun  
A sign of my indifference 

Always keepin' safe inside  
Where no one ever had a chance  
To penetrate a break in 

Let me tell you some have tried  
But I would slam the door so tight  
That they could never get in 

Kept my cool under lock and key  
And I never shed a tear  
Another sign of my condition 

Fear of love or bitter vanity  
That kept me on the run  
The main events at my confession 

I kept a chain upon my door  
That would shake the shame of Cain  
Into a blind submission 

The burning ghost without a name  
Was still calling all the same  
But I just wouldn't listen (Hmmmmm…)

The longer I'd stall  
The further I'd crawl  
The further I'd crawl  
The harder I'd fall  
I was crawlin' into the fire 

The more that I saw  
The further I'd fall  
The further I'd fall  
The lower I'd crawl  
I kept fallin' into the fire (Ooooh whoa ooooh oooh oh)  
Into the fire (Whoa whoa whoa…)  
Into the fire 

Bender: Woo! Woo! Woo! 

Allison:  
Suddenly it occurred to me  
The reason for the run and hide  
Had totaled my existence 

Everything left on the other side  
Could never be much worse that this  
But could I go the distance? 

I faced the door and all my shame  
Tearin' off each piece of chain  
Until they all were broken 

But no matter how I tried  
The other side was locked so tight  
That door, it wouldn't open (Ooooh yeeeeaaaah!)

Gave it all that I got  
And started to knock  
Shouted for someone  
To open the lock  
I just gotta get to the door 

And the more that I knocked  
The hotter I got  
The hotter I got  
The harder I'd knock  
I just gotta break through the door 

Gotta knock a little harder  
Gotta knock a little harder  
Gotta knock a little harder (break through the door)

Gotta knock a little harder  
Gotta knock a little harder  
Gotta knock a little harder (knock a bit harder)  
Gotta knock a little harder (gotta knock them out, break through the door)  
Gotta knock a little harder (gotta knock them out, break through the door)

(In which both Allison and Bender were humming to the song)

Allison: Break down the door…

(In which now Bender applauds Allison’s little performance here in which she smiles and hugs him for that in which Carl was nearby as he also applauded Allison’s performance as well. Principal Richard Vernon was also at a nearby location though hidden from their sight as he was having a small little applause for Allison’s performance as well.)

THE END


End file.
